


Redemption

by jadero096



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Black Veil Brides, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Andy is a bit OOC, Angst, Cutting, Frank is a bit OOC too, Luke H is a bit cocky, Luke M is a little shit, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Panic Attacks, Sad Memories, painful memories, some funny moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-20 06:22:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3640071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadero096/pseuds/jadero096
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andy's life is somewhat calm after a long time of it not being that way. Then one night he hears some noise across the hall and stumbles into something he's not quite sure he's ready for. But that doesn't really matter at this point, because redemption means more than going a lot out of your way to take care of someone who doesn't want to be taken care of. </p>
<p>Frank is in a place where he isn't sure he can get out of. And to be honest he doesn't really give a fuck. He's miserable and everyone knows it. He's perfectly fine on his own and doesn't need anyone. For four years it'd been that way and he was perfectly content with keeping it that way. Until he slips up and Andy barges into his fucking life without permission. </p>
<p>And that's where it all begins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for myself. I wanted to write something that I liked and wanted to reread when I was done with it. I'm not done yet, but I decided, hey why not post it on AO3? This is something that branched from me feeling real angsty one day and listening to Emarosa's latest album Versus. Which is insanely good. But anyway, this isn't conventional and it doesn't have normal ships, which may possibly be my favorite thing about it. I hope you guys like it and if not that's okay too! Feedback and comments are welcome, but please don't be too brutal. Haha. Thank you for reading! :)

Andy and Frank had known each other for years. You had to count on two hands how long they had known each other. But they didn't really know each other. They walked by each other in the hallway to their respective apartments. They saw each other when they walked to work. They even hung out every once in a while. It was safe to say they knew one another. They lived directly across from each other and basically looked into each other’s eyes every morning before they went their separate ways. It was also safe to say that Andy looked forward to it. But it never went more than that. Eye contact and a wave. As far as Andy was concerned, Frank was trouble.

He played his guitar loud at random hours. He played his music louder than Andy played his, and that was a hard feat to manage. And the cops eternally seemed to be at his house. Everyone in the building looked at him as if he was an alien, flying in his own UFO. But it never stopped them from talking about how hot he was, and Andy couldn't deny that he agreed. The guy was hot, he was just entirely troublesome. More so than Andy wanted to deal with. He preferred to play it cool and not befriend anyone he didn't already know for years.

 

And so this was Andy's life. Easy and calm.

 

Well… Until last Thursday.

~

 

Andy was laying in his bed, humming some song as he was trying to fall asleep. He had work in the morning and he was already late to bed. It was going on one in the morning and he had to be up for seven. Not enough sleep where Andy was concerned. So he huffed and rolled over, planting his face in his pillow. He huffed out a tired breath and fell asleep peacefully.

 

Andy had about three hours of sleep before he was woken up by a loud crash. Andy jolted awake with a disgruntled mumble. He pushed himself up on his hands and held his weight for a few moments, waiting for another sound. When he heard another loud crash he jumped up from his bed and ran out to his living room. He picked up the baseball bat he kept in handy for those kind of situations and held it high. He whipped around, looking for the intruder, but no one was there. So he sighed and nodded. He went to walk back to his room with his trusty baseball bat, only to hear another loud bang. Andy froze mid-step, knowing that the noise was coming from Frank’s apartment.

 

_Fuck, what was that…?_

 

Andy turned and walked through his apartment, dropping his baseball bat and opening his door to the hallway. He walked over to Frank’s door. He was about to knock when he heard labored breathing and a groan of pain. He immediately opened the door and found Frank dripping blood on the floor. Andy stood perfectly still for a moment.

 

“G-get out.” Frank hissed. Andy snapped out of his stupor and hurriedly kneeled down on the floor next to the injured man.

 

_What am I doing? He said leave. I should be going…_

 

“No. There’s obviously something really bad going on here. And I should help. So what can I do?” Andy asked, trying to keep himself calm. But the blood was a bit frightening, considering there was so much of it.

 

“Leave… Now.” Frank huffed. Andy scrubbed at his scalp before he heard Frank start to hyperventilate. Andy looked down and knew instantly what was going on. Frank was having a panic attack. He knew what to do. His best friend got panic attacks.

 

“Hey, Frank. It’s gonna be okay.” Andy said. He stood slowly and walked over to the window and opened it. Which was a feat in and of itself because he had to dodge a couch, a guitar, clothes and plenty of other things he couldn’t make out in the darkness. He made his way back to Frank and helped him up.

 

“Andy, I want you to leave.” Frank growled. Andy raised his eyebrows.

 

_So do I, but you’re kind of bleeding and having a panic attack. So I don’t think that’s gonna happen._

 

“How about you shut up for a second and get some air in your lungs. Hmm?” Andy asked, although it wasn’t really a question. He helped Frank to the window and made sure he breathed in deep. He looked down at the blood coating his hands and noticed Frank’s wrist was dripping crimson droplets of blood. Andy was thrown into a pit of despair. It was like reliving her old nightmares again and again. Only this time, he wouldn’t be saving her; he would be attempting to save Frank.

 

_Why am I even bothering? He’s not my responsibility._ She _was._

 

"Get… Off. And g-get out.” Frank croaked. He stumbled and struggled to keep himself upright. He fell into Andy, who stumbled back and fell to the floor holding Frank. Frank’s breathing evened out, but he was still shaky. And blood was still dripping from his wrists. Andy moved one hand from being wrapped around Frank’s waist to search for something to stop the bleeding. He found an old looking shirt and gripped it. He brought his arm back to Frank’s waist, taking his right wrist in hand first. “A-ahh. S-stop. It hurts.” Frank managed out.

 

“I need to stop the bleeding, it’ll only hurt for a minute.” Andy spoke calmly. And only then did he notice the proximity in which they were in. Andy’s chin was pressed against Frank’s shoulder, and Frank’s head had flopped to the side pressing against Andy’s cheek. But now was not the time to be assessing their closeness. It was time to pay attention to the blood dripping from his wrist. Andy focused on Frank’s wrists, putting a stop to their flow of blood. Once that was done, he knew that he needed to clean the two of them up. Sitting in drying blood was kind of disgusting. Andy made a move to get up, but Frank protested.

 

“Don’t go.” He whispered. Andy froze in his spot. He hadn’t heard this side of Frank before. The side that was vulnerable and tired. It almost scared him.

 

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I just need to get a wet towel to clean this up. I’ll be right back.” Andy said. He eased himself away from Frank slowly and stood. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. The stress was getting to him, and he needed it to not, for the sake of Frank. Who at that moment looked like a rag doll, black hair strewn across his face, sticking to it with the sheen of sweat that had accumulated from the force of his panic attack.

 

_Once again time to redirect the topic away from Frank and his looks, and back onto the fact that the blood is drying pretty quickly._

 

“Are you going or what?” Frank asked. His green eyes peered up into Andy’s blue ones, as Frank’s upper body leaned against the wall where the window was. Every now and then, a slow breeze would drift in and flow through his hair. He always closed his eyes when it did. Andy couldn’t help but stare…

 

_Andy! Wet cloth! Stop watching him!_

 

Andy snapped out of his stupor with a curt nod and turned, heading for the bathroom. He dodged the scattered items spread across the floor and made it to the bathroom quickly. He got inside, and when he did, he wished he hadn’t. It was like a murder scene. There was blood everywhere. The sink, the toilet, the bath, the floor… He looked down and saw an old polaroid. He furrowed his eyebrows and bent down, picking up the discarded memory and looking at it.

 

The picture was of two guys. It had blood on it like seemingly everything else. Andy wiped it off gently and took a better look at it. One of the guys was obviously Frank, and the other Andy had no clue as to who he could be. But he had bright hazel eyes and a sloppy grin on his face as Frank wrapped his arms around him and laughed. Andy found himself smiling instantly. The picture just caused that reaction. He looked at the bottom of the photo and saw writing. 3rd anniversary it wrote. Andy put two and two together and sighed. He didn’t know any details, but the basic overview was simple.

 

Whoever that guy was, was Frank’s whole life at one point. And now he wasn’t around anymore, and it was hurting Frank more than anyone knew. Andy put the picture down and found a towel. He wet it and cleaned the blood from the bathroom. It would only bring up bad memories later and Frank didn’t need anymore stress. He rinsed out the towel and brought it out of the bathroom and back to Frank.

 

Andy got down on one knee and took Frank’s wrist, wiping away the blood gently. Andy peeked up and caught Frank watching him through hooded, tired eyes. Andy gave him a small smile and continued to clean off his wrists. When he was done he headed back to the bathroom. He set the towel in the sink and was about to leave when he saw something shining by the toilet. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked closer at it. He frowned deeply when he saw what it was. He bent down and picked up the object. He turned the water on and cleaned the blood-covered razor blade, wrapped it in toilet paper, and stuck it in his pocket. He walked out of the bathroom and back to Frank. He knew Frank would kill the next morning if he slept there on the floor. He needed to move him.

 

"Frank..? Can you move?” Andy asked quietly. Frank hummed. It wasn’t content and it didn’t sound pained either. He blinked a few times and then his eyes met Andy’s.

 

“Don’t want to.” He mumbled. He voice sounded dry, probably from the hyperventilating… Andy stood and went to the kitchen. He looked in the cabinets and found a glass. He got Frank some water and walked back to him.

 

“Here. Drink this, and then you have to at least sleep on the couch.” Andy said. Frank snorted. Andy narrowed his eyes.

 

“What are you? My doctor?” Frank scoffed. Andy rolled his eyes and set the cup in one of Frank’s hands.

 

“Drink it and shut up.” Andy said. It held no heat in it, so Frank brought the glass to his lips and tipped it back, drinking the water. When he was done, he handed the glass back to Andy, who set it aside somewhere. He stood and offered his hands out to Frank. “Come on. You have to lay down.” Andy said, shaking his hands trying to coax Frank into taking them. Frank sighed and took them. Andy pulled him up, and made sure he was sturdy on his feet before he let go and slipped an arm around his waist, helping him to the couch. Frank tensed and turned his head slowly to look up at Andy.

 

“What are you doing?” He asked, as if Andy had just slapped him across the face. Andy furrowed his eyebrows at the question.

 

“Taking you to bingo, you old granny. What the hell do you think? I’m trying to help you get to the couch. Now shut up and move.” Andy said. Frank glared daggers at him and Andy glared right back. They managed to get to the couch and Frank laid down without protest. Andy sat down in front of him with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms dangling over them.

 

“Why are you watching me?” Frank asked. Andy just blinked, tired of getting the third degree for just trying to help.

 

“Cause I’m creepy like that and just love watching guys sleep. Ya know, it’s just my favorite passtime.” Andy said sarcastically.

 

“I can’t stand you.” Frank sighed. Andy shook his head. This whole thing was all too familiar to him. Maybe not the hostile attitude, but everything else was. He remembered watching her as she fell asleep in his bed, tears still wet on her cheeks as her breath evened out. There were countless nights that ended that way. He never minded, but it always tugged a little harder each time he watched her go through it. “Who just died?” Frank asked. The words snapped him out of his trance and he looked up at Frank. He couldn’t manage to form any words.“What? Did you turn mute all of a sudden?” Frank asked. Andy shook his head and cleared his throat.

 

“No. I’m fine. And you are too. So try and sleep.” Andy said calmly. Frank blinked a few times and tried to study the man sitting before him. He wondered where the sudden change in attitude came from. He was going to ask, but decided against it. Frank just hummed again and closed his eyes. Soon he was asleep.

 

Andy watched as Frank drifted to sleep. He watched the soft black hair slowly ease away from his forehead and fall against the couch. Andy felt relief as Frank’s features smoothed out and become almost peaceful. He stood and walked over to the window. He closed it and looked around for a blanket, but all he could find was a jacket. So he set it over Frank’s arms and walked to the door. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Frank was still asleep, so he opened the door quietly and walked out, going back to his apartment. He slipped inside and locked his door behind him, leaning against it door and sighing.

 

_I thought I could handle those thoughts now… What happened to being strong because that’s what she would want?_

 

Andy scrubbed his fingers against his scalp and stuck his hand in his pocket, pulling out the blade he wrapped in toilet paper and deciding where he would put it. He would put it where he put her’s; top shelf of his closet in the box full of memories he kept. Safest place that ever could be. He closed the closet door and slipped into his bed. He was exhausted. But, for some reason, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. The memories were just too overwhelming to let him find the peace he would need to fall asleep.

 

He kept picturing the way she looked, so lifeless and cold. It was haunting. The sharp splashes of red everywhere and her soft voice begging him for help. Pleading for him to do something, to save her. He tried his best back then, and maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe he should have tried harder. Maybe he should have done things differently. He didn't know what he should have done, and thinking it over millions of times had never brought him any clarity. He wished it would have, because then maybe he could sleep without seeing her hands covered in blood, shaking and wishing she had never done it in the first place.

 

Suddenly, the sun was rising and it was time to get up.

 

~

 

Andy was like a zombie the whole day. Not even coffee could keep him awake. But despite his lack of sleep, his brain was still running rampant at the memory of what had transpired the night before. He kept replaying the tired look on Frank's face, and the way he looked when he was asleep. How his hair stuck to his face with sweat and the red tint to his cheeks. Andy was wondering why all of a sudden he was remembering Frank's looks. Something intense happened last night, and Andy's focus should have been on asking himself why he got involved. Which was still a mystery, even to him.

 

_Why did I get involved..? It was none of my business and he told me to leave multiple times. I could have used that as an excuse, but, I didn't… What the hell am I doing?_

 

Andy was soon snapped out of his thoughts by someone walking over to his desk. He hated his shitty job, but he couldn't complain too much; it paid okay, and the people were nice enough.

 

"Andy, your shift ended a half an hour ago. What are you still doing here?" His manager, Vic, asked him. Andy blinked to himself a few times, and then blinked up at the man before him.

 

"Where am I again?" Andy asked, only half joking. Vic laughed and smiled down at the younger man.

 

"Long night?" Vic asked. Andy sighed, standing and collecting his things.

 

"You don't know the half of it." Andy mumbled.

 

"Well thankfully you have tomorrow off, so be grateful." Vic said with a soft pat to Andy's arm. Andy gave a halfhearted smile and walked out from behind his desk.

 

"Yeah. See you Friday." Andy said with a wave. Vic waved back before heading back to his desk next to Kellin's. Andy walked the short distance to his apartment and tried to keep his conflicting and painful memories at bay. It wouldn't work, he knew, especially since he had the next day off. It would only lead to him wallowing in his sorrow. But that was irrelevant because he'd end up doing it whether he was at work or not. He walked into his apartment building and up to his floor. He pulled out his keys and was about to slip the right one into the lock when a memory flittered into his mind.

 

**_He was standing out in the hallways talking to her, his best friend. She was pale and her eyes were clouded. She looked so out of it; more so than he had ever seen her. She was talking quietly and rather odd. Andy had to stop and place his hands on her shoulders. He shook her slightly to make her pay attention and snap out of the rather nerve-wracking stupor she seemed to be in._ **

 

**_"Hey Kat, snap out of it. What's wrong?" He asked, gently placing a hand to her cheek and making her look into his eyes. She blinked and swallowed, then realized Andy was worried beyond belief and cleared her throat before speaking up._ **

 

**_"Do you remember how I told you Jack was in that group?" She asked, only confusing Andy even more._ **

 

**_"More like a forced gang if you ask me. What was it they were supposed to be doing again? Collecting information for their leader or whatever? Fucking wacko sends him everywhere. Who does that?" Andy rambled. Kat pushed his hand away from her face, taking it in her own hand and squeezing it to get his attention._ **

 

**_"Andy." She hissed in a small whisper. Andy looked at her and suddenly he had a terrible sickening feeling in his stomach. He stood up straight and let his other hand fall from her shoulder._ **

 

_**"What happened?" Andy asked, his heart pounding before she even said a word. She looked up at him and that same clouded expression overtook her face once again. "Kat." Andy said, not being able to take anymore silence.** _

 

_**"They were getting information on someone really powerful, and Jack was sent in along with two other people. They managed to get the information, but Jack… He…” Kat breathed out slowly.** _

 

_**"He what?" Andy asked, feeling like he already knew what she was going to say.** _

 

_**"He got caught… He had to protect the information and he got caught. He didn't make it out… They shot him ten times and he died last night. They left him out in the cold and he died from blood loss and punctures to his vital organs." She finished. Andy couldn't breathe for a second. Scratch that, he couldn't function for a long time.** _

 

_**"Jesus, no. Fuck no. Kat." Andy couldn't even manage a full coherent sentence. He didn't know how she could. She was having a hard time breathing, he could hear how labored her breaths had become.** _

 

_**"His funeral is in two days. His uncle, his cousin, and I are making it a private ceremony. His body is too ruined for an open casket. I won't even… I can't even see his face one last time…” She said. She fell to her knees and keeled over, her breathing rapid and frantic. Tears were streaming down her face and she looked broken in two.** _

 

Suddenly Andy was pulled from his excruciating memory by being tapped on the shoulder. He turned around to see Frank standing before him. He wasn't sure what was about to happen from the look on Frank's face, but he was definitely nervous about it. Before he knew it Frank's fist flew out and hit him in the nose. Andy immediately cupped his nose and groaned.

 

"Wow, way to thank me for being nice last night." Andy huffed as he wiped the blood dripping from his nose. Frank's breathing got labored and this scene was all too familiar. He needed to change it, and fast.

 

"Give. It. Back. _Now_." Frank hissed, his fist balling up once again.

 

"Firstly, if you punch me again you will definitely break my nose. And secondly, no." Andy replied, quickly turning to unlock his door. Once it was open he hurriedly went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth to clean his nose. He heard footsteps and peered around the cloth as best as he could to see Frank standing in the doorway, his face red and fuming. "Hello." Andy said with a wave.

 

"I want it now. And I mean it Andy." Frank said. Andy pulled the cloth away from his face and looked Frank in the face. His eyes going from friendly- even after he'd been punched in the face- to cold and hard in the matter of two seconds. It made Frank fall back a step and take a deep breath.

 

"I'm not giving it back to you. So tough luck." Andy spat. He set the cloth back on his nose and tilted his head back to stop the bleeding, breaking their eye contact. He didn't know why this meant so much. He understood why it would bring up old memories, but he just didn't know why it would make him want to get involved in any way. It only meant he would fuck it all up once again, just like he did the first time. But he just knew that he needed to do it. To involve himself in something so troublesome and painful, even with the possibility of him getting hurt a second time. He cut a glance at Frank and deep in his stomach he felt a tug.

 

"It's not yours! Why are you even bothering at all!? I never asked you for your help!" Frank lashed out. Andy could see the desperation clear in his eyes and on his face. But Andy wouldn't give in and he wouldn't give up. This could be his second chance to fix things. To say he saved _someone_ , at least, if not her.

 

"Let's just use the word… Redemption. Simple, sweet, and to the point." Andy sighed as he pulled the cloth from his face and wiped the excess blood. Frank looked confused and shook his head, placing his palm on his head as if he were suffering from withdrawals of some sort. Andy threw the wet cloth in the sink and turned to Frank.

 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Frank asked, pulling his hand away from his face and making his fringe fall lazily back his forehead. Andy wasn't going to explain a damned thing to Frank. Frank didn't need to pity him. If Frank was capable of pity, the guy was a fucking headache. He could throw one hell of a punch though… Andy shook his head.

 

"Nothing. Not to you, anyway. It's nothing you need to concern yourself with." Andy said as he brushed past Frank and went to the living room. He noticed the front door was still open, and another memory hit like a fucking tidal wave.

 

_**"Kat get up! Come on, get up!" Andy cried, as he dragged her inside the apartment. She was cold and covered in blood. He was panting heavily and shaking. He set her on the floor and ran for his phone. He picked it up and went back to her. He dialed 911 and brushed the hair away from her face. She was pale, and freezing cold. She had a wound in her stomach, and she was clutching it**_.

 

_**"Andy… Hang up…” She spoke up. Andy's eyes widened and he shook his head, yelling the problem and their location into the phone. "Andy, I don't want to live…” She said. Andy couldn't stop the tears from falling at that moment. His free hand curled into a fist on his leg. He shook his head.** _

 

_**"I don't care Kat. You're gonna live. It's what Jack would want." Andy said through tears. She sighed.** _

 

_**"Don’t be selfish. I want to be with him again. And you know something? He wanted to get married. He told me he wanted to marry me. That's what he wanted. But those bastards killed him and now they're trying to kill me." She coughed. Andy felt a panic like never before course through his veins.** _

 

_**"Shut up, it isn't selfish. You can't die. You need to live. He would want it, and you know it." Andy said. She smiled and looked up at the ceiling.** _

 

_**"He would, wouldn't he..?" She said as tears slid down her cheeks.** _

 

"Andy!" Frank called. Andy looked over at Frank, wondering what he was yelling about.

 

"What?" Andy asked quietly.

 

"You're crying." Frank said. He frowned and looked at Andy warily. He couldn’t figure out why all of a sudden Andy stood watching the open door as tears streamed down his face. Frank was uncertain as to what the reason was, but he had a feeling that there was more to why he was doing what he was doing other than just 'redemption'. Although Frank was sure he didn't want to know, and he definitely didn't want Andy trying to help him or 'redeem' him if that's what this was about.

 

"Oh…” Andy said. He wiped at his cheeks. He cleared his throat and sighed. "So what is it that you want? Oh wait, bad question." Andy said thoughtfully. Frank sighed, defeated, and looked up at him.

 

“The question here is, what do _you_ want?” Frank asked. Andy stopped for a moment and thought it over. That actually was a good damned question.

 

“I’m not sure how to answer that…” Andy trailed off. Frank rolled his eyes. He was tired of Andy and hoped that this wouldn’t be some new relationship sparking up between them. He could barely stand Andy at this point. But he knew if he was to get what he came for, he would have to oblige.

 

"There has to be something that you want. So if you can just tell me what we can get this over with and I can go home.” Frank said, trying to usher Andy into speaking up. Andy stood silent for a moment, thinking over why he had done what he did in the first place. Why he had walked into Frank’s apartment. Why he had helped him. Why he had been courteous enough to take what didn’t belong to him for the sake of saving him. Why Frank always reminded him so much of Kat. And suddenly, a flash appeared before his eyes (metaphorically speaking) and with it, clarity. His motives were clear. Crystal to be more specific.

 

Frank was slowly killing himself, just like Kat had at one point. This was his second chance. His redemption. His chance to save her. He could do it this time. He could feel it. So, he walked up to Frank as close as the man would allow, and spoke. “One word. Redemption."


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. Since I'm kinda crappy with updating, you'll either see an update on Mondays or Fridays. The times may be erratic but if you have questions about the story or if you have a request for me send me a message on Tumblr at ptv-sws-atl-mt.tumblr.com. :)
> 
> {Also if the formatting on this chapter is kinda off that's probably my fault. I couldn't figure out how to fix it... haha....}

Frank didn't know what to do about Andy's meddling. He couldn't tell him to fuck off, and  Andy wouldn't tell him what he wanted. All he kept saying was that 'redemption' was his  purpose for this whole mess. Frank was sure that Andy was a fucking psychopath, at  this point. There was no other way to describe it. Still, Frank was clueless as to how to  get Andy out of his life and get back what he wanted. He would need to think of  something soon; he wanted his razor blade back. It was the only thing that made him  feel like he was alive.

 

So he sat in his living room and played his music loud. It helped him to think. He leaned  back against the cushion and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. What to do...  What to do... He was thinking hard when a specific song flitted through the room.  Frank's heart leapt in his chest and he reached for the remote, but he couldn't find it.  How could he lose the remote in such a short period of time? But it was too late to turn  off the speakers, the song had already slipped its way under his skin and slithered into  his veins, forcing his slow pulse to jump and making him freeze. 

 

" _If I don't say this now,  I will surely break. As I'm leaving,  The one I wanna take. Forget the urgency, But hurry up and wait. My heart has started to separate..._ " The lyrics flowed through the room like hands,  curling around his neck and making it hard to breathe. It felt like the walls were closing  in and everything was getting too close, yet there was nothing more touching him than  there was before the song started.

 

He felt his breathing steadily start to increase as the song continued, bringing up old  memories and a painful past. He couldn't do it. He stood up and tried to calm himself  down. But he was past that at this point. He needed air. He needed to calm his  breathing. He shook his head and felt his heart beating erratically. It wasn't helping calm  him to pay attention to it; if anything it was just making it worse. He turned and went to  walk over to the window, but tripped over something on his way there, and fell to the  ground. His breathing was frantic and all he could think of was how much he needed  someone. Then the memories flooded into his mind like a broken dam.

 

_Frank was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. A big goofy smile was plastered  across his face. He heard humming and turned to see Gerard walking into the room.  When he saw Frank was awake he smiled, making Frank laugh, and himself chorus  along with him._

 

_"Why are you laughing?" Gerard asked through his own laughter. Frank just sat up, the  blankets falling around his waist and revealing his bare upper body._

 

_"Maybe because it took us ten years to actually get together." Frank chuckled. Gerard  just smiled to himself as he pulled on a shirt and made his way over to the bed where  Frank was still seated. Gerard sat himself down next to Frank and leaned over, kissing  him. Frank kissed him back, his eyes closing as he wanted to remember the moment for  the rest of his life. He wanted to remember Gerard for the rest of his life. Every piece of  him. His lips and how soft they were beneath his. His eyes and how they turned from  hazel to green. His hair and how unruly it was, yet how soft it could be under his fingers.  He loved everything about Gerard._

 

_"Yeah, it took a while. But here we are now. Happy, and in love." Gerard said as he  pulled away. His hand traveled up to Frank's face and brushed against his cheek,  before sliding his thumb across Frank's kiss swollen lips. Gerard moved his hand,  leaning back in to capture Frank's lips again._

 

"Frank!" A voice sounded beside him. It was muffled like he was underwater, but he  could make out someone calling his name. His head felt heavy and his vision was hazy.  But things seemed to be getting clearer. He blinked a few times and everything was  clear again, and thankfully that damned song was over. "Frank, can you hear me?  You're bleeding..." He recognized the voice as Andy's. Frank groaned, and not from the  new found pain in his head.

 

"God, do you ever mind your own damned business?" Frank asked as he tried to sit up.  But his vision went blurry again and this time his groan was because of the pain in his  head. Andy wrapped an arm around his waist, helping him up. "Would you get off of me  and get out?" Frank groaned again with no heat in his words at all.

 

"Oh yeah, sure, that sounds like a great idea. I should just sit you down on the couch  and walk out of the apartment, possibly letting you bleed to death. What a good person I  would be." Andy said sarcastically. If Frank wasn't so out of it, he would have punched  Andy in the nose again.

 

"I cannot stand you." Frank hissed. Andy snorted.

 

"Yeah, I'm fully aware of that. But thanks for bringing it up again, though. Makes me _real_ happy to know you hate my guts." Andy said as he walked Frank over to the couch.

 

"Please, shut the fuck up.” Frank whined. His vision was going in and out of focus and it  was making him feel sick. Andy was no longer in front of him and that added to the list   
of problems that he had with the intrusive prick. “Fuck, ow… Andy get back here!” Frank  called. In his head it was a yell, but in reality it was more like a mumble.

 

“I’m right here. Now shut up. You hit your head pretty hard; you might have a  concussion.” Andy spoke as he took a wet cloth and dabbed at the blood that was  leaking down the side of his face.

 

“I don’t need your help, why won’t you leave me alone?” Frank growled. Well, in reality it  was more like a pleading whine. Andy sighed. Frank was surely troublesome, but if he  wanted accomplish what he had set out to, then he would have to deal with what Frank  was dishing out. But thankfully for Andy, Frank passed out two minutes into him  cleaning the wound on his head. Luckily the wound wasn't that deep so he wouldn't  need to be rushed to the hospital. As Andy was cleaning Frank's wound he looked at  the man, taking in his features:

 

His soft looking pink lips. His unkempt but rather soft black hair. His stubble. His nose.  His jaw line. And suddenly Andy's thoughts started to drift into a place that wasn't as  cutanddry as this whole situation was supposed to be. Frank was undoubtedly a good  looking man; everyone knew that. Andy just didn't think he would like Frank. If the man's  personality was anything to go off of, then Andy should have been turned off the first  time Frank opened his mouth. Frank's eyes opened up, hooded and lazy, full of  tiredness, and Andy froze.

 

_Yeah definitely attracted to him, and not subtly either..._

 

"Ugh, why are you still here?" Frank asked. Andy sighed and plucked Frank's forehead.

 

"Shut up and let me finish cleaning your head. By the way, I want you to crash at my  place tonight." Andy said, wiping away the blood that was starting to dry to Frank's face.

 

" _Fuck_  no." Frank said. Andy had to stop for a second. Half because he was trying not to  laugh, and half because he was trying not to strangle the man in front of him.

 

"Not a choice. You hit your head really badly and you might have a concussion. I'm  gonna need to keep an eye on you." Andy said as he pulled the cloth away from Frank's  face. Frank's head lolled back against the couch cushion. 

 

"I'm not going to your place tonight. Not gonna happen. Who knows what you'll do to me. Probably try to probe me or somethin'." Frank said as he tried to sit up. Andy  furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

 

"What the fuck do you think I am? A fucking alien studying human assholes? Don't get weird on me here." Andy said, pulling out a gauze pad from the first aid kit he had found  in Frank's bathroom and placing it on the small gash on his head just below his hairline.  He used gauze tape and taped down the pad to his head. Frank didn't say anything but  he made a hand gesture that was far from appropriate. "Okay, now let's get you out of  here and over to my place." Andy said as he slipped an arm around Frank's waist. He  lifted him up and wrapped his arm around his neck, helping him stand up and walk.  They made it out of the apartment okay, until Frank stopped walking. "What's going on?  Let's go. You aren't exactly as light as a feather."

 

"First off, that was fucking rude. Second, I don't have any clothes." Frank said  somewhat coherently. Andy sighed. This would prove to be a long night. And Andy  wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. 

 

“You can borrow some of mine, now let’s get you over here.” Andy said, as he opened  the door to his apartment. Frank blinked a few times and took in Andy’s apartment. It  was cleaner than his own. He had CD’s lying around, and a few copies of Alternative  Press magazine spread on his coffee table, but other than that his apartment seemed  really clean. Frank could learn a thing or two…

 

“Your apartment is clean.” Frank said lazily. Andy nodded as he walked Frank into his  bedroom. “Whoa whoa, why are we here?” Frank protested, squirming a little in Andy’s  grip.

 

“So I can make you my sex slave Frankie.” Andy whispered in Frank’s ear. Frank  pushed Andy’s face away as Andy laughed. “So that way you don’t wake up in pain all  over from sleeping on the couch. I’m being courteous.” Andy said as he let Frank sit  down on the bed.

 

“Yeah. Again, why is that? I don’t remember asking you to come into my life like this. It’s  pretty fucking intrusive.” Frank said. He was getting some of his coherence back, and  he was actually able to think somewhat straight. Andy smirked and walked over to his  dresser. “Well..?” Frank pushed as he held his head, trying to get his vision to focus.  Andy was still quiet.

 

“I already told you why.” Andy said. His tone seemed guarded, and Frank wasn’t sure  what he was trying to hide. Either way, it made him uneasy, and his trust level for the  man was at an all time low. He watched Andy as he pulled out a pair of pajama pants  and a white tee shirt. “Here, this should fit.” Andy said. Frank just watched him. Andy  noticed this, and continued to avert his gaze away from the man before him. This was  beginning to make Frank extremely uncomfortable.

 

“Seriously, why are you doing this?” Frank asked seriously. And only then did Andy’s  eyes meet Frank’s. They were cold, yet oddly vulnerable. Andy blinked a few times and  moved his gaze onto something else, the questions floating between them becoming  too much to handle. He set the clothes on the bed and continued with his silence before  he cleared his throat and looked back into Frank’s eyes.

 

“I just want to save you.” Andy said. It was so simple yet so completely complex. It didn’t  give Frank any clarification; if anything it made him more confused. Andy sensed this  and made to walk away. Frank was angered now. Nothing was making sense and this  guy just comes into his life out of nowhere, preaching that he wants to save him. He  would get an answer or there would be hell to pay.

 

“Hey! I want a real answer! Not some preacher bullshit. Tell me now! What do you want  from me?” Frank snapped. He stood up and righted himself, despite the room spinning  in circles. He wanted an answer and he would get one.

 

"Calm down you idiot, you may have a concussion.” Andy said, holding his hands up in defense trying to make Frank sit back down. But Frank seemed coherent enough to  stand on his own and demand an answer, so he didn't touch him. That would probably result in Andy getting punched in the face again.

 

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! You burst into my fucking house the other night and  pretended that we're friends or something. Then you go into my bathroom and take  something that wasn't yours! And now you brought me here to stay the night? What the  fuck is this?! Do you understand how messed up this is?!" Frank boomed. Andy frowned  and looked away. He hadn't thought about how it may seem to Frank. He had rushed  into everything with guns blazing, not thinking about how Frank would feel. And it was  true, Frank never did ask for Andy's help. Andy just didn't want to waste any time. He  wasted too much last time, and he wouldn’t waste any now. But in the end, instead of  helping Frank, he was just making him more nervous and frustrated.

 

"Now I do... But I won’t apologize for it. And I won’t give it back to you. But nice hissy fit.  I give you an ‘A’ for effort.” Andy said. Andy’s words only seemed to ignite the fire that  had lit up inside Frank.

 

“Why not?! I never asked for your help you prick!” Frank lashed out. Andy wasn’t  offended. It would take ten times more than that to offend him. He had been through this  before. Nothing would surprise him this time.

 

"You didn’t have to. But let me just ask you this. Would you have preferred I called  someone and told them what you were doing to yourself?” Andy asked. The flames that  seemed burning in Frank’s green eyes extinguished instantly at that. Andy knew that  was a low blow, and he definitely knew he wasn’t making things better for Frank. But  Andy couldn’t sit back a second time and watch someone else ruin themselves. He couldn’t do it. And he wouldn’t.

 

"Why are you doing this?” Frank asked seriously. All traces of anger or malice, even  sadness, was gone. He was just wondering why Andy was doing this. Why was he  intruding in his life? Why was he making this so damned  _complicated?_

 

"Isn't it enough that I just don't want to see you die?" Andy asked. His voice lost any  tone it previously held. He couldn’t muster up any strength or courage to become angry  or upset or even saddened by what was happening.

 

“Why do you care?” Frank asked, his eyebrows furrowed. He shook his head slightly, honestly wondering why his death would mean  _anything_  to Andy. They weren’t friends.  They’d hung out maybe twice. Frank didn’t matter to him. He didn’t matter to anyone  anymore.

 

“Because I know that no one else does.” He replied. Frank swallowed at that. He  averted his eyes and looked anywhere but at Andy. Andy was saying everything that  Frank didn’t want to hear, and everything that was the truth. Or at least he hoped it was  truthful.

 

Frank looked up, but as soon as he did, he regretted it. The look on Andy’s face was  one of pure and utter sadness. His eyes turned a deep blue and his mouth was set in a  deep frown.

 

"Don't look at me that way. I don’t want your fucking pity.” Frank hissed, gathering as  much venom into his voice as he could. But there wasn’t much. He was too drained. 

 

“How can I not? You remind me so much Just…” Andy said, stopping himself in his  tracks. Frank hadn’t caught what Andy was about to say, thankfully. He was too busy  trying to forget the look on Andy’s face. “Whatever. I don’t pity you. Just change up and  get some rest.” Andy said with a wave of his hand before turning to leave.

 

“I’m not staying here. I’m leaving.” Frank said. He walked past Andy carefully. He was  still walking on unsteady legs, despite the fact that he could think coherently again.  Andy turned just in time to grab Frank’s arm and halt his trek back to his apartment.

 

“You’re not leaving. What you’re going to do is get back in that room and change and  get some rest.” Andy said sternly. Frank tore his arm out of Andy’s grip.

 

“Don’t touch me. I can leave if I want to. You’re not my warden. I don’t have to listen to  you.” Frank snapped. Andy went to take his arm in his hand again but only caught his  hand. So he pulled Frank close and fisted his shirt in his hand.

 

“Listen, you have two choices. Get in that fucking room, change up and rest, or me  knocking you the fuck out and making you rest that way. Take a pick.” Andy hissed.  Frank narrowed his eyes.

 

“That doesn’t seem like much of a choice.” Frank said quietly. Andy didn’t loosen his grip. 

 

“I’m not fucking playing with you.” Andy rasped out. Frank wasn’t saying a word and  Andy was beginning to fume. He was definitely ready to choose for him. 

 

"You sure? Cause this definitely seems like a game to me.” Frank chuckled. Andy had  had enough. He spun Frank around and shoved him into the room. Frank stumbled, but  he never fell because Andy’s fist never left his shirt. “Get off of me!” Frank boomed.

 

“Then stop fucking around! This isn’t a joke!” Andy yelled. Frank just laughed bitterly.

 

“You sure? Cause it sure as hell feels like one!” Andy brought his other hand up and  fisted it in Frank’s shirt with his other one. Frank gripped Andy’s wrists, his teeth baring  in an almost feral way. “Get. Off. Me. Now. Before I do more damage than just a bloody  nose.” Frank growled. Andy just tightened his grip.

 

“Make me.” Andy spat. And in an instant they were rolling around in a pile on the floor.  Fists were flying and things were being knocked down from Andy’s dresser and  crashing into them. It was a loud mess. 

 

"I can't stand you! Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?!” Frank yelled as it was  his turn to fist Andy’s shirt in his hands. 

 

“Why can’t you just make this easy?! I’m trying to help you!” Andy snapped back. They  rolled around again, forcing more things to crash down and hit them. Frank was about to  punch Andy in the face, when his fist was stopped abruptly by Andy catching it in his  hand. Andy tried to punch Frank in turn, but his fist was pushed away. And as it was, it  knocked in Frank’s elbow, making him fall on top of Andy.

 

_Oh my fucking god… Oh. My. Fucking. God. He’s kissing me…_

 

When Frank fell, he’d fallen face first into Andy’s face, making their lips crash into one  another’s. They were both freaking out internally, yet neither of them moved to get up. It  was possibly because they were afraid of what the other would say. But then again  neither of them really gave a damn what the other thought anyway. It was something  else entirely. They just weren’t sure of what it was.

 

Suddenly, something quite dangerous happened…

 

Andy closed his eyes, and Frank moved his lips.

 

And before they knew it, their mouths were slotting together and moving in sync. The  kiss was rough and hard and there were teeth involved. At one point Frank could taste  blood. But there was no way he was pulling away first. And not because he liked it or  anything. No, it was for a totally different reason that he would have to figure out later.  But oh god were Andy’s lips soft…

 

Something had flipped in the both of them. Something carnal laying dormant in the both  of them that released after a night of complete tension. It was hands tangled in raven  strands of hair, tongues battling against each other for dominance but neither winning. It  was soft humming sounds being trapped between heated presses of lips. It was-

 

All cut short when a knock sounded at Andy’s front door.

 

Their eyes whipped opened in a lustfilled haze and they pulled away slowly. They  stayed perfectly still for a few moments, breathing the same air as they hadn’t moved  further than an inch away from each other. Their eyes locked on one another in silence  until another knock sounded, more urgent this time. Frank got off of Andy and scooted  back enough for the man to get up and walk away. And when he did, all thoughts came  rushing back into Frank’s head with a quickness that could have given him whiplash.

 

He couldn’t help thinking What the hell was that? as he pressed his fingertips to his lips.  He could still feel Andy’s there even though they were no longer pressed together. He  stood up slowly and hurriedly changed into the clothes strewn across the bed before  slipping under the covers. He screwed his eyes shut and hoped for sleep in the small  amount of time he had before Andy came back and started asking all those troublesome  questions. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to sleep though; there were so many  troublesome questions of his own floating through his mind. There were things he didn’t  even want to touch running through his head. The dream of sleep seemed so far away.  But, on the contrary, he didn’t have to dream too hard, because sleep enveloped him  fairly quickly. Or, at least quick enough that he didn’t have to face Andy. He was  unconsciously thankful for that.

 

Andy could barely think clearly enough to get himself to the door, let alone have to  answer it and speak coherent sentences to whoever was on the other side. He couldn’t  believe Frank had kissed him. Even more, he couldn’t believe that he had kissed back.

 

That was bad.

 

Like, really fucking bad… 

 

Emotions were what had caused the last downfall he had went through. They clouded  his judgement and made it hard to differentiate what was the right thing to do, and what  was the wrong thing. And in the end, it left him with a void that would never be filled and  a sorrow stitched into his soul that he couldn’t unthread. He didn’t need another failure  and broken heart. He’d been through it once, and that was painful enough. Now he  needed to focus. And not on how Frank tasted…

 

“Hey.” Andy said as he opened the door. On the other side stood a disheveled looking  Alex. Alex was his next door neighbor and they hung out quite frequently. Basically,  Alex was his closest friend. 

 

“Hey. What are you doing in here? Sumo wrestling? Ya know it’s like going on three in  the morning, right?” Alex asked as he yawned. Andy chuckled lightly. 

 

“Yeah, sorry. A rat is in my apartment. Had to rough it up a bit.” Andy said as he ran a  hand up and down his face. Alex laughed. Andy smiled at his friend.

 

“Hey, by the way, do you know where Frank is?” Alex asked. Andy tensed and then  cleared his throat.

 

“No, why?” Andy asked as casually as he could. Alex nodded and rubbed at his eye.

 

“A Mikey was looking for him today. Stopped by my place around like two this afternoon  asking if he still lived there. I told him yeah and he was probably out or something. If you  see him, relay the message. The guy said it was real important and that he was a close  friend.” Alex said, pulling his hand away from his eyes and setting it by his side. Andy  nodded. 

 

“Yeah, okay. Will do. Sorry I woke you.” Andy said with a sympathetic smirk. Alex  waved it off.

 

"Don't be. It’s no big deal. Besides, I’m sure there’s sometimes when Michael and I  keep you up pretty late.” Alex said with a salacious grin. Andy furrowed his eyebrows  and scrunched his face up in distaste.

 

“Ew. Go away you fucking pervert.” Andy said. Alex laughed and turned away with a  wave, walking back to his apartment. Andy shut the door and locked it before turning  around and heading back to the room. But the tricky thing was, what was he going to  say to Frank?

 

Hey, I like your lips?

 

Hey, you taste fucking amazing and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it?

 

Hey, I think I kinda like you? 

 

None of those would work or help the situation and he knew it. But all his troubles were  cut short when Andy stepped into the room to see Frank sleeping. And it wasn’t fake  sleeping either. Andy could always tell when someone was faking. That was his talent.  Well, besides complicating things entirely. But that was something everyone knew  already. So Andy walked in the room quietly and grabbed a pillow from the bed, and a  blanket from the bottom drawer in his dresser. He avoided all the things that had been  knocked over not too long ago and left the room. He could clean up tomorrow. No sense  in doing it now when it would only wake Frank up. And at that point in time Andy was  definitely not ready to face Frank yet.

 

He trudged into the living room and took up residence there. He fell onto the couch and  rested his head on his pillow, facing the TV. He grabbed the remote from the coffee  table, turned the TV on, and began flicking through the stations. Nothing was on really,  just infomercials for things that seemed ingenious at three in the morning and old blackandwhite reruns. He wouldn’t dare touch those. Andy just flipped back and forth  between some infomercial about a food maker and one about some type of stretchy  pants that fit everyone. He was repulsed at himself for watching such garbage, but he  couldn’t seem to quiet his mind enough to get to sleep. He turned the TV off and turned  on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling.

 

All that was on his mind lately was Frank and old memories that haunted him to no end.  He wanted the pain to just go away and for the memories to fade off into nothing, setting  lightly in the back of his mind without ever needing to come back to the forefront of his  mind again. But everyone knows that can’t happen. Time heals all wounds. And  sometimes it takes a long time for a wound to heal.

 

Andy knew this. Andy knew that time would heal. And that helping Frank was what he  needed to do. He knew these things damn it and he was willing to deal with the trouble  as it came. But one person can only deal with so much. And Andy wasn’t consciously  aware of that fact yet. He thought that just pushing through everything headfirst would  get him where he needed to be, but it would only end up with him getting hurt. He  needed to take caution and slow himself down somehow. All the thinking he was doing  was making him tired.

 

Before he knew it, his eyes were closed and he was fast asleep.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry to everyone who has been waiting for this chapter. I appreciate your reads and I'm really sorry for the long delay. A few things came up with my editor and we got really busy, and I know this is an excuse but I am sorry. :( Please forgive me? And please keep commenting because I love to see them. Again, any requests or anything, you can send them to my Tumblr ptv-sws-atl-mt.tumblr.com

When Frank blinked his eyes open, he groaned. His head was pounding. He wished he never fell. He was calm for moments before he remembered what happened the night before. He kissed Andy…

 

“Fuck meeeee…..” He growled into the pillow. He lifted his head up and turned it to the clock that was set on Andy’s nightstand. “Let’s see if I can sneak out..” He whispered. The clock read 6:45 a.m. He turned around and got out of the bed slowly. He then tip toed out of the bedroom and through the living room. He stopped and looked at Andy who was passed out on the couch that he didn’t even fit on. God he’s just so fucking tall..

 

_He looks so young there… But then when he opens his mouth he sounds so fucking… Sexy.._

 

Frank groaned internally. The last thing he needed was to complicate things with feelings. He didn’t need or want to feel anything for the intrusive bastard. That would only cause trouble. And he didn’t need any trouble. He turned and walked out of the apartment slowly and quietly. He closed the door silently and sighed when he was in the clear.

 

"Frank." Frank jumped so high he almost met Jesus. When he got over the slight fright he turned and was about to curse whoever the hell scared him out, when he was met with a familiar face that he’d been trying to avoid.

 

_Fuck you very much Andy. Now I have to fucking deal with him._

 

“Hello Mikey. Long time no see.” Frank said walking directly past him to get into his apartment. He tried to shut the door in the guy’s face but he stopped it with his foot. “Fine. Why don’t you come in?” Frank said through gritted teeth.

 

“Thank you.” Mikey said curtly. He walked in and took in the place. He then smirked.

 

“What?” Frank asked not liking the smirk that took residence on his face. Mikey just chuckled.

 

“Nothing. This place just reminds me of when you and G-.” Mikey was cut off.

 

“Don’t.” Frank said quietly. Mikey looked over at him and then realized how drained the man looked.

 

“But Frank it’s been four years since he left..” Mikey said, his tone was quiet and not holding any malice. It held pity and that was what angered Frank the most.

 

“Look, I don’t need your pity. I never asked for it either. So don’t look at me like that. Either tell me what you came here to tell me, or get the fuck out.” Frank snapped. His heart was thumping fast and painfully. He remembered when he was glad to see Mikey. Now he just couldn’t stand the sight of him. Mikey knew why. It was his own fault. Mikey nodded.

 

“It’s about Gerard.” Mikey said. Frank steeled himself. It may have been four years later, but Frank still wasn’t ready. But knowing Mikey, he wouldn’t let it go until Frank heard what he had to say.

 

“Mikey…” Frank said warningly. Mikey stood his ground.

 

“I’ve been trying to reach you for a year now. What I have to say is important. You should know about it.” Mikey said seriously. Frank frowned. He didn’t say anything more and waited for Mikey to continue.

 

“Well?” Frank asked.

 

“Gerard and Lindsey got married. They’re having a baby in four months.” Mikey said solemnly. Frank didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could say really. ‘Congratulations.’ No… ‘Good for you.’ No…

 

“Is that all?” Frank asked. Mikey was silent for a moment. He was trying to search for some emotion on Frank’s face, but there was nothing but a small frown, and that always seemed to take place on Frank’s face. Mikey then took a deep breath and nodded. They were stood in Frank’s living room, and everything was quiet until Mikey turned and walked toward the door. He grasped the doorknob but didn’t move for a second.

 

“They’re naming her Bandit Lee Way.” Mikey said lastly. He then opened the door and walked out, closing it almost silently behind him. He frowned as he walked away. He always knew Frank was the kind of person to suffer in silence. He just wished someone would be there to make sure he didn’t suffer alone. Mikey then stopped. He turned and looked at the apartment door that Frank had first come out of. Maybe whoever was in there would help Frank. He walked over to the door and was about to knock but before he did he looked over his shoulder. He sighed and knocked on the door anyway. He heard a shuffle and a bang and regretted knocking on the door so early.

 

“Ouch fuck.. Hello?” The man before Mikey said. Mikey blinked a few times. The man before him looked really young. But his voice was so damned deep.

 

“Ahh… I’m Mikey. I’m Frank’s fri-… Uhm, I’m someone close to him.” Mikey started. The man before him blinked, sleep still in his icy blue eyes. He then realized what Mikey was saying and shook his head.

 

“Sorry. I’m Andy, do you wanna come in.” The man asked. Mikey stopped and thought for a second. Would Frank really appreciate him meddling? But he looked terrible… Mikey then nodded. Andy stepped aside and let Mikey inside. Mikey walked in and stood awkwardly as Andy quickly tried to clean things up. “So was there something you wanted to talk to me about? Oh damn sorry, do you wanna sit down or something?” Andy asked seeming a bit out of place. Mikey chuckled feeling bad for waking him.

 

“No that’s okay thank you. I won’t be staying long, I’m sorry to wake you.” Mikey said. Andy chuckled too.

 

“Don’t worry about it. Fucking couch sucks anyway.” Andy joked. Mikey smiled. Then he remembered why he was there in the first place. He cleared his throat and his brown eyes met Andy’s blue. Andy then frowned slightly.

 

"About Frankie… I just gave him some news. And if I’m honest it was news that was probably ten times worse for him than things already are.” Mikey said. Andy’s frown deepened.

 

“Okay… Why are you telling me this?” Andy asked. Andy was glad that Mikey said something about Frank, now he could help him some way, but how did Mikey know to come to him? Mikey smirked but his eyes read something more somber.

 

“I saw him sneak out of your apartment not too long ago. And Frank doesn’t really have many friends, so seeing him sneak out of your apartment means you have some sort of relation to him.” Mikey said with a tight smile. Andy furrowed his eyebrows, confused by the look on Mikey’s face.

 

_No.. He has definitely got the wrong idea…_

 

“Okay… Whatever that was supposed to mean.. What do you expect me to do? I haven’t heard Frank talk about you. Not that he talks about anything actually. Anyway what do you want me to do? Keep an eye on him and give you tabs about it? Cause I won’t do that.” Andy said. He was nervous and getting defensive. Mikey just tried to hide his smile.

 

“No. Not anything like that. I just want you to take care of him. Make sure that he’s okay and that he doesn’t hurt himself or become suicidal. Gerard would hate that..” Mikey said. He then realized he said something he shouldn’t have. Andy didn’t need to know about that until Frank decided to tell him. If he ever did.

 

“Who’s Gerard?” Andy asked. Mikey sighed and looked up at Andy.

 

“I won’t tell you anything about Frank or his past or the people in it. That’s for Frank to explain. If he ever wants to. I’m just asking you for a favor. To just make sure that Frank stays okay.” Mikey said. Andy pressed his lips into a thin line and thought over everything.

 

_Gerard must be the man in the picture… I’ll leave that alone for now.._

 

“Fine, okay. I can do that. But why don’t you do it?” Andy asked. Maybe that question could gouge something from him. He was leaving everything open for interpretation and Andy didn’t know what he was working with. Which made everything ten times harder. If he even knew the smallest bit, he could then understand the situation and try and get to Frank a little. But Mikey just frowned. He took a deep breath.

 

“Let’s just say that Frank doesn’t  want me to. By the way, I’ll be in touch. I’d like to know how he’s doing every once in a while.” Mikey said backing away.

 

“I thought I just told you I wouldn’t give you tabs.” Andy said. Mikey just smiled carefully.

 

“Keep in mind Andy. I do know more about him than you do. I could help.” Mikey said. Andy narrowed his eyes at the man.

 

“You are one creepy fuck. I’ll think about it. Now get out. You’re giving me the creeps.” Andy said with a disturbed look. Mikey just winked and left the apartment. “I swear the fucking people he knows.”

 

~

 

While Mikey had walked across the hall leaving Frank to his own device, Frank hadn’t moved. He stood silently in his apartment. He blinked a few times before he realized his eyes were watering. He cursed himself internally. He hated that Gerard still had such a hold on him. Still made him feel things. It was agonizing. Truly and utterly heart wrenching.

 

He knew deep down he should be happy for Gerard. After all he went through, the man deserved some happiness. But all Frank felt was anger and a pain that seemed like it was decaying the rest of whatever shreds of a heart he had left. He couldn't muster up any happiness for Gerard. He didn't want to and he didn't feel bad about it. How could he feel bad about it when it felt like there was a gaping hole the size and shape of the man sitting inside his chest.

 

His hand found something, and he gripped it. Gripped it until his knuckles turned a pale white, like the bones sitting idly beneath his skin. It happened to be the back of a chair. His other hand came up and gripped at his stomach, feeling like it had tangled itself with the rest of his organs and decided to suffocate itself. And then he felt the wet truth slide down his cheeks. The truth he had been trying to deny for four years. The truth that told him things he didn't want to hear. Things he wanted to avoid at all costs.

 

**_Gerard is never coming back._ **

 

**_Gerard doesn't want you anymore._ **

 

**_Everything that was said during those years together was a lie, he never meant them._ **

 

**_You spent four years loving a man who decided to break your heart as simply as he won it._ **

 

**_Gerard never loved you..._ **

 

Frank felt like he would throw up. That was how terribly his stomach was turning. His hand left from his stomach and went for his head. He held his head feeling a headache beginning to bloom. He wished he could just go back to sleep. Being in the comfortable bed that he left. He was wondering why he left it in the first place.

 

_Andy.. Fuck. Like I need another issue right now..._

 

Frank felt the world spinning and knew that in no time Andy would be up and heading for his apartment to scold him for leaving. He couldn't deal with Andy and his overbearing dickheadedness. So he decided it would be best to take his nervous breakdown on a walk. And besides he had work that day anyway. Who cared if he got into the record store early. He'd get overtime for opening the store and he could sit in the back with an old Nirvana record and drown himself in eternal misery. To Frank that sounded fucking terrible, but he had no choice. It was either that or sit with Andy and argue about how fucking intrusive he was. Frank would need a bottle of liquor for that and being that it was still only 7:10 in the morning he figured drinking would have to wait till later.

 

So with his plan and his nervous breakdown fully in motion, he headed for the bedroom and changed quickly. He grabbed his jacket, his pack of cigarettes and lighter, his keys and left the apartment. He locked the door behind him and walked down the hallway. He had dropped his keys on the floor in front of his apartment, something he wouldn't notice until he needed them. He took the ten minute walk to work and decided to save the drowning in misery thing until he got to there. He had other things to worry about.

 

_Why did I kiss him last night? I mean it wasn't on purpose but if I really wanted to I could have pulled away... And wait a minute, he didn't pull away either. I fucking knew it. Andy wants my dick. Makes so much sense now. He has a crush on me and that's why he's giving me all this trouble. I should have guessed before. Still that's a lot of trouble to go to just because of a crush... Andy is a fucking weirdo anyway.._

 

He stopped in front of the store and pulled his lanyard out with the store key on it. He took one last long drag from his cigarette before he stomped the cigarette out and unlocked the door to the store, flipping the sign around on the door to 'Open' instead of 'Closed'. He walked in and headed straight for the back room, punching in. He was usually the last to arrive every morning, and was always almost late. His boss didn't really care but the second in command, some little shit who got on his nerves always ragged on him about it. Frank usually had to take a cigarette break at that point so he didn't knock the little fucker out.

 

But with that being said, the little fucker was his best friend at the moment. His name was Luke. He always got the most sales too. Well besides Frank himself. He had a way with the girls that came in here. It was something about his angsty and depressed demeanor that made them immediately attracted to him. Luke was always pissed about it and it made Frank's pride swell like an over inflated balloon.

 

Frank was now in the back lounge where the employees usually took their breaks. He was laid on the couch listening to not an old Nirvana record but a recent Emarosa record. It was just as full of angst as Frank was himself. He almost felt intimidated. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and slipped one between his lips and lit it, waiting for someone to enter the store. He sighed as he watched the smoke float around the room. Luke would flip his shit when he came in and saw Frank smoking but Frank didn't really care. He had so much on his mind that he didn't even really care what Luke would say. Or the fact that he would steal his pack of cigarettes and not give them back till the end of the day.

 

Frank frowned deeply as thoughts of Gerard swam through his mind like the smoke swam through the room. Wandering aimlessly around until they disappeared. It was telling in a metaphorical way. It said something about the way their relationship went. Frank took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Flicking his ashes into an empty plastic cup.

 

Gerard had meant everything to Frank. He still did on some level. He wished the man didn’t but he knew it was irrevocable. Gerard would always be there. And Frank had come to terms with it. He’d come to terms with the fact that Gerard never really was in love with him. He was just someone to sleep next to at night. Or at least that was what Frank assumed. There really never was much information as to why he had left in the first place.

 

And that fact alone was enough to keep Frank mentally insane for a year and a half. But he would never tell anyone that. It was something he didn’t like to dwell on.

 

Frank had always had a hole in the place where his heart was, but this felt like he was blown to pieces. Like he was walking around with no heart anymore. The cavern where it used to be felt like it had been nuked to oblivion. Gerard was married to Lindsey now? And they were having a baby? A little girl? Her name was going to be Bandit… Frank felt his hand begin to shake. The music in the background began to slowly drift into drowned out noise and his hand let go of the cigarette. It fell onto his shirt and he hissed as he felt it burn through his shirt. He sat up quickly and hit it away from his shirt. It fell to the floor and he stomped it out before it could become chaos. He picked up the cigarette and threw it in the trash bin. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, saddened.

 

“Luke leave it alone, we have forty five minutes before anyone comes in. Let’s fool around.” Jaime whined. Frank rolled his eyes. He knew they were fucking. It was obvious. Also Pete owed him twenty bucks.

 

“Calm your libido for three minutes Jaime. You don’t even need forty five minutes anyway. Maybe twenty if that. I know someone’s here. There’s music playing and I can smell smoke.” Luke grumbled. Frank felt anger boiling in his stomach already. Luke better back the fuck off his case. Today was definitely not the day.

 

"You suck Luke.” Jaime huffed. Frank leaned back against the couch and lit up another cigarette. He stared blankly at the ceiling, the music becoming more of an annoyance now than anything. Frank took a long drag and held it for a moment needing to gather all his strength and tolerance to deal with Luke.

 

"Yeah I know. But I won't if you don't shut up." Luke said, Frank felt his lips quirk at the sides. He wouldn’t smile though. He had no reason. Nothing was good in his life. Therefore he didn’t need to smile. “Holy shit.” Luke said as he walked into the back room where Frank was seated. Staring at the ceiling lazily. “You’re two hours early… Oh my god who died?” Luke cried. Frank blinked. The kid had only spoken a few words and already Frank felt like decking him one in the face.

 

“No one.” Frank managed out quietly. He had intended for his voice to come out harsh and hostile, but he just didn’t have it in him to fight with anyone.

 

_Andy’s gonna have a fucking free for all today._

“Something bad had to have happened, cause you definitely never come in early.” Luke chuckled. Frank glared at him. “Aw man your glares aren’t even up to par. Something’s wrong.” Luke said. He then got a serious look of concern on his face. Frank was about to tell him to wipe it off but instead his head decided to go in the opposite direction, and spill what he wanted to keep secret.

 

“Gerard is married. And he’s having a baby with Lindsey.” He spoke silently. Luke frowned deeply. And Frank was revolted by the utter pity in the younger man’s eyes. He turned to look back up at the ceiling and took another long drag from his smoke.

 

“Jaime leave.” Luke instructed.

 

“But Luke I-.” Jaime tried.

 

“Go jerk off in the bathroom and we’ll mess around later. I promise.” Luke said, pushing Jaime out of the room, leaving a soft kiss to his lips before closing the door in his face. “So how are you?” Luke asked. He pulled the cigarette from Frank’s hand and took a long drag from it. Frank blinked, confused.

 

“I thought you hated smoke. That’s why you always tell me not to smoke in the store.” Frank asked taking back his cigarette and instead offering the man one of his own. Luke took the cigarette he was offered and plucked Frank’s from his hand again. Frank rolled his eyes and sighed. Luke pressed the lit end of Frank’s cigarette to his own and inhaled as the smoke lit up.

 

"On the contrary my friend. I love a good menthol. I’m supposed to be quitting, that’s why I tell you not to smoke in the store. But that is a feat in and of itself. One smoke won’t kill me any quicker though. Don’t avoid the question. Answer me.” Luke said as he pulled his legs up to him and flicked his ashes in the same red plastic cup Frank was. He inhaled from his cigarette and thought the question over in his head.

 

Well firstly, he wasn’t okay. So that was enough of an answer. But as he thought more about it, more details and slivers of pain came to the forefront of his mind. And suddenly he felt tired.

 

_I’m not okay… I wish I was. Better yet, I wish I had my fucking blade. That would help out a lot. I wish I could forget him. Forget he existed in my life. Forget he ever wanted me. Forget how he ever felt… Looked… Tasted… Smelled. God I hate him. Or at least I wish I could._

Frank just settled for, “Not good.” Luke looked over at him through his lashes. He pressed the smoke to his lips but before he inhaled he pulled it back far enough to speak.

 

“Well I coulda fucking told you that. That isn’t what I meant. I want detail. I’m not your therapist for nothing jackass.” Luke said, then inhaled.

 

Frank raised an eyebrow at the younger male. He had some serious balls to talk to Frank that way. That was exactly one of the reasons that Frank liked the kid, even respected him. But just a little.

 

“What has always bothered me about this whole “heartbreak” thing is that… Your head is in overdrive trying to rationalize what is going on, yet your heart is dragging it’s fucking feet making sure you stop and feel every stab of the knife twisting inside your gut to make you wanna throw up. It’s like an eternal stomachache.” Frank managed. He wasn’t even sure if that made sense. He was just going off of what he felt.

 

“Oddly enough, that’s actually pretty accurate.” Luke said. Crushing his cigarette out. He pulled another from Frank’s pack and lit it with the discarded lighter that was left on the small table. Frank narrowed his eyes at the younger man.

 

“I did buy those you know.” Frank said. Luke rolled his eyes.

 

“Shut up Frank. I owe you overtime today anyway. Despite the fact that you’ve sat here for almost two hours now doing absolutely nothing.” Luke said. Frank just shook his head.

 

"I opened the store. That counts.” Frank said pushing out the butt end of his second cigarette.

 

“Whatever you say. But anyway. If I were you, I would just hop onto the next one. Even though you’re still in pain it can’t hurt to have someone else. At this point it’d be good for you. You need physical contact. Someone who can make you feel alive again. Not just like a hollow shell of someone you used to be. You’re not the same person you were when Gerard was around. You’re different. And you need someone different. Not the same person as before.” Luke said. His hand swirled through the smoke, seeming like he was entranced in the white clouds that they created. He then blinked and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Okay like who?” Frank asked. “I hate everyone.” He said as he leaned back, lifting his legs and setting his feet atop the table. Luke pushed his feet off, seemingly disgusted by the fact that his shoes touched the table.

 

“Not everyone. You seem to be holding some flame for Andy.” Luke said.

 

“I will fucking murder you.” Frank seethed. Luke smirked before he burst out into laughter.

 

“Calm down. It was just an observation. Besides, you really do seem to have some interest in him.” Luke said. Frank huffed out another sigh. He was growing tired of Luke. If he didn’t like the company he would have kicked Luke’s ass out of the room and locked the door when he first stepped foot inside.

 

But he had bigger problems besides an aggravating little shit like Luke. His problems laid with Andy and his intrusive as fuck behavior. And now he was deciding whether or not to tell Luke.

 

“Speaking of Andy…” Frank trailed off. Luke nodded and then his eyes widened and he blew out the smoke he inhaled with a quickness Frank had never seen.

 

"You fucked him didn’t you?!” Luke asked. He dropped his legs and turned to Frank. Frank just blinked, thoroughly sick and tired of Luke. But he digressed. The kid was his best friend.

 

“No you fucking sex fiend.” Frank snapped. Luke’s eyes lost their bright blue shine and drooped back to the darker blue they previously held.

 

“Damnit I wanted details too. And fuck you if anyone is a sex fiend it’s Jaime. Bet he really is jerking off right now.” Luke said thoughtfully. His eyes began to sparkle and he smirked.

 

“You’re so fucking gross.” Frank said. He was disgusted by the kid now.

 

“Shut up. But before you do, tell me what happened with tall pale and beautiful.” Luke said pressing out the end of his cigarette. Luke pulled one leg back up and wrapped an arm around it. Frank bit his lip for a moment. He was still debating on whether he should tell him or not. But decided he would do it anyway. The least Luke would do was get a boner.

 

“Well he has this sort of “redemption” thing going on. At least that’s what he calls it. And he keeps just saying he wants to save me.” Frank started.

 

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing? A tall beautiful blue eyed man wants to save you and possibly make love to you passionately. And you decided to despise him instead?” Luke asked.

 

“Shut up. I’m not finished. He’s blackmailing me, and making me sleep at his place and yesterday something I really regret today happened.” Frank continued. Luke seemed to grab interest in this as his lips quirked upward slightly but not enough to smile, in fear of Frank becoming hostile and hitting him.

 

“What exactly happened? And are you sure you didn’t sleep together?” Luke asked. He then felt a fist collide with his stomach. He coughed and nodded. “Point taken…” He trailed off.

 

“We didn’t sleep together you damned pervert. We ended up fighting sort of. We were rolling around on the ground and I went to punch him and my other arm got knocked in and I kinda sorta fell into his face…. With my face.” Frank said regretting the words leaving his mouth immediately. Luke had a great big smile on his face.

 

“How were his lips?” Luke asked. Frank sighed but decided to indulge the little freak because if he didn’t he would hound Frank all day for details.

 

“They were…” Frank trailed off, remembering how it felt to kiss Andy.

 

_His lips were so soft. And his hands touching me, and not in a harmful way always made my skin prickle with goosebumps. The way his tongue felt against mine was… Fuck it was so good. Shit I can’t tell Luke this…_

 

“They were okay I guess..” Frank finally answered as he cleared his throat.

 

“You’re a fucking liar.” Luke laughed. Frank rolled his eyes and felt his cheeks warm the smallest bit with color.

 

"Whatever you say Luke.” Frank said.

 

“Frank, it’s okay to say Andy’s lips felt nice. You deserve to move on. More so than Gerard had any right to.” Luke spoke seriously. “You wouldn’t be betraying him if that’s what you’re thinking.” Luke said. Frank blinked. He then frowned slightly.

 

“They felt… Really nice actually. I’ll never tell the fucker that but they did. They were soft and pink and warm and his tongue. God the things he could do with his tongue.” Frank rambled on quietly. Luke’s eyes glazed over and his cheeks were pink. Frank then sighed.

 

“Well what else?” Luke asked gently pushing Frank for more details.

 

“Someone knocked on the door and interrupted.” Frank said as he stood up. Luke’s jaw dropped and he stood quickly next to Frank.

 

“That’s so not fair!” Luke cried. Frank stretched and yawned.

 

“Well nothing in life is fair. It’s been proven to me multiple times. Besides, I’m glad that someone knocked. I don’t think I could have done anything more than kiss him.” Frank said. Luke huffed. Frank grabbed his pack of smokes and lighter and walked to the door opening it and walking out. He heard Luke’s footsteps trail behind him.

 

"Frank cover for me and Jaime." Luke said. Frank turned and looked at Luke. His pupils were dilated and his cheeks were a deep flushed red. Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“Are you sure it’s Jaime who’s the sex fiend?” Frank asked. Luke glared at his older friend.

 

“Shut up. It isn’t my fault that you and Andy are hot. Then my mind just drifts and I can’t help it.” Luke said. He then hurriedly turned away and scurried off to the bathroom.

 

“Luke what-?” Jaime said.

 

“Shut up. Shut up and get back in the bathroom now.” Luke snapped.

 

“O-okay…” Jaime said.

 

“Gross.” Frank said as he shook his head. Although he couldn’t help feel a stab of jealousy sting deep in his stomach at the thought. He wished he had someone to sleep with again. He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that morning and walked to the front taking his place by the cash register.

 

“Hey, look who’s here early. It’s Frankie.” Pete said with a smile. Frank just smirked.

 

“You owe me twenty bucks.” Frank said simply. Pete furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“For what?” Pete said.

 

“Go look in the bathroom.” Frank said with a chuckle.

 

“Okay…” Pete trailed off. He walked to the back, punching in and then headed to the bathroom. He opened the door and-…

 

“OUT NOW!” Luke cried. It was either in embarrassment or in pleasure, Frank couldn’t really tell… Pete walked back out of the back and slapped a twenty dollar bill in Frank’s hand. Frank smiled.u He shoved the money in his pocket and laughed as he saw Pete rubbing his temples trying to get the image of what he just saw out of his head.

 

Shitty pay or not, Frank loved his job.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I actually updated when I was supposed to. Round of applause for me? Lol. Anyway here you guys go. Hope you like this chapter, and again as always, any questions or requests, send them to my Tumblr ptv-sws-atl-mt.tumblr.com :)

Frank said goodbye to Luke and Pete preparing to leave the store. Pete waved, walking out before Frank did and Luke stood behind the register waiting for Jaime.

 

“I wanna know all the details. Whatever happens between you and Andy I must be the first to know.” Luke said as he leaned over the counter. Frank stared blankly at Luke.

 

“You’re the only one who will know. That is, if I even decide to tell you.” Frank shrugged. He slipped on his jacket as he stood opposite Luke.

 

“But you have to tell me!” Luke cried almost desperately. Frank furrowed his eyebrows. What was wrong with this kid?

 

“You are some kind of sicko, ya know that?” Frank said as he stuffed his lighter and his almost empty pack of smokes in his jacket pocket.

 

“It’s not sick! I just find the two of you highly attractive and like to think of you doing the do. It’s not sick I’m just a fanboy.” Luke defended himself, standing up straight and crossing his arms. Frank rolled his eyes. He had had enough of Luke. The day was too damned long and he was just ready to go home and crawl into bed.

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. How do you even know what Andy looks like anyway?” Frank asked. He only remembered telling Luke was that Andy had blue eyes and an incredibly attractive face. That wasn’t really much to go off of.

 

“He works at the bank across the street. Ya know with Kellin and Vic. And that crummy fat fuck who runs the place. I can’t stand that guy.” Luke said shaking his head, not even trying to hide the disgust clearly spread across his face.

 

"Oh great. Just what I need. Andy stalking me home from work too. Fucking fantastic." Frank grumbled. He closed his jacket around him and turned to walk out of the door.

 

"Night Frankie. See ya tomorrow!" Luke called with a wave. "Try and get some tonight. Maybe then you won’t be so fucking miserable!” Luke smiled brightly. Frank flipped the younger man off and walked out of the store following the same path he took to get to work.

 

_I just need to get home and go to bed. I don’t need Andy in my face talking about saving me. And I don’t need to think about Gerard and his wife and his baby… Fuck I’m doing it right now.._

Frank ran a hand through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. So many things running through his head and now a new pain was coursing through his veins. It felt like venom swimming through his bloodstream constricting his heart each time he thought about the man. Frank hated it. He hated the man now. All those years he spent without him, he yearned for him. Wanted him back even begged the God he prayed to, to just bring Gerard back to him.

 

But now, not only was there the undeniable love and want for the man, there was an intense hatred for the man. So deep and painful that it sat like lead in his stomach. Weighing him down with each thought and each curse he had for the man.

 

Frank blinked open his eyes and noticed that he was about to walk right past his apartment building. He sighed quietly and walked inside, pushing the front door open with his hand and letting it fall shut loudly behind him. He trudged up the stairs and to his floor. He walked down the hallway and stopped in front of his apartment, digging in his pocket for his keys. Only to find that they weren’t in his jacket pockets. Or his jeans…

 

“Fuck me…” Frank cursed.

 

“Gladly. Wanna come in?” Andy asked. Andy swung Frank’s apartment door open and smiled a small smile in Frank’s face. Frank was sure he was seeing red. Felt it flash before his eyes. Frank cleared his throat and closed his eyes momentarily.

 

"Andy. I’m gonna explain a few things to you, despite the fact that I don’t feel like I should have to explain myself at all.” Frank started. Andy stood there silently. His little smile still in place.  Frank wasn’t sure what he felt more at that moment. Anger to the point of wanting to beat the living fuck out of him, or humor at the circumstance to the point of wanting to kiss him. And that startled the fuck out of him. So he went with anger to settle his confusion. “I have had a very, very long day. I got some fucked up news, had to deal with a horny little fuck at work, and now I would just like to go to my own bed without having to deal with you. Is that too much to ask?” Frank hissed.

 

“I know. That’s why I’m here. So you don’t have to deal with your bad news alone. Also I found your keys on the floor outside your door today.” Andy said holding the keys up. Frank glared at the blue eyed man. He wanted nothing more than to just punch him in the face.

 

"Give them back to me. _Now_.” Frank growled. Andy just held them.

 

“Actually no. That was something I wanted to talk to you about.” Andy said. Frank could see the enjoyment Andy was getting out of his frustration. And he was becoming livid. He never wanted Andy to stick his fucking nose in his business. And he definitely never asked for it. So now Andy was going to pay for it.

 

On the contrary, Andy wasn’t enjoying Frank’s intense discomfort. He was just excited over the fact that he found a way to keep Frank close and keep an eye on him. That was all. It was purely innocent. Well despite the lingering feelings in the pit of his stomach that turned warm and fuzzy whenever he looked at Frank. But he wasn’t gonna peg those on anything. They didn’t need a label. Besides there was nothing to label! Yet…  

 

"Andy. I am just in the fucking mood to deck you square in the face. So give me my fucking keys and get the fuck out of my apartment.” Frank cursed.

 

“No I need to talk to you.” Andy said seriously. He had come up with a plan to keep an eye on Frank all the time. He wasn’t exactly sure how it would work, but he had a backup plan in case coming flat out and proposing it didn’t work. And to be honest it probably wouldn’t...

 

“I don’t want to fucking talk to you Andy. I don’t like you. Now give me my fucking keys!” Frank snapped.

 

“No. Just let me talk to you!” Andy said. He was getting aggravated with Frank insistence that he leave him alone. He wouldn’t do it. Not after everything Mikey said that morning. He would never leave Frank alone again.  

 

"I don't want to fucking talk to you! I want you to leave me the fuck alone!” Frank yelled. Andy frowned.

 

“Too bad. I’m talking to you. And you’re gonna listen. And wait a second… Did you say ‘horny little fuck’?” Andy asked. Frank glared at Andy. He then gripped Andy’s shirt and pulled him down to his level. Frank was short, it was almost a problem.

 

"Andy. Fuck off.” Frank growled. Andy smiled again.

 

“Are you gonna kiss me again?” Andy asked. Frank narrowed his eyes and pushed Andy away walking inside his apartment and taking off his jacket. “I don’t mind if you want to. I mean just try to leave the punches out of it this time.” Andy joked, closing the door behind him.

 

"Get the fuck out Andy.” Frank sighed. Frank fell onto his couch and was ready to call it a night. But Andy was preventing it from happening, exactly like he knew he would. “And how did you know I had bad news?” Frank asked as he ran a hand up and down his emotionally and physically tired face.

 

“Oh uhm, your friend came and told me to take care of you. He said he wanted tabs on you every now and then. But he can go fuck himself if he thinks that’s happening.” Andy said, walking around idly, swaying the keys in his hand.

 

Frank didn’t think that he could be any angrier or emotionally exhausted, but he managed to prove himself wrong. He clenched his teeth together and his jaw tightened unbelievably. Andy stopped and turned to say something but cut himself short when he saw how angry Andy looked.

 

“You talked to Mikey?” Frank hissed. Andy raised his eyebrows. Why, was that a bad thing?

 

“Well more like he came to me and told me you need to not be left alone, because you suffer in silence.” Andy answered. Frank couldn’t deal with it. He just couldn’t.

 

“Why would you even let him into your house?! Why do you consistently feel the need to stick your perfectly shaped nose into my fucking business when I don’t want it there?!” Frank yelled. Andy stood silently for a moment.

 

“I’m not sure what to address first. The fact that you’re an ungrateful fuck, or the fact that you think I have a perfectly shaped nose…” Andy said. Andy had told himself it would take more than insults to hurt him this time around. More than ungratefulness too. But there was something else stinging in his gut, making him feel hurt.

 

Sure Andy had went through all of this before. All the arguments and insults and fights. He knew the routine. It wasn’t simple and it wasn’t easy, but Andy could do it with no trouble. Or at least that was what he thought. It was easier somehow having to help her. Now it just feels ten times harder. And Andy wasn’t sure why that was, for the simple fact that she fought harder than Frank fought.

 

What was it that was making this time so much harder?

 

"Don't flatter yourself Andy. Everyone knows you're attractive. Just like everyone knows I’m cold. It’s obvious.” Frank rolled his eyes and stood up, pulling off his shoes. He threw them on the floor and then noticed that his floor was clean. He stopped and looked around his apartment for a second before realizing that his whole apartment was clean. He felt like he was going to have a brain aneurism. “YOU CLEANED MY FUCKING HOUSE?!” Frank boomed. Andy sighed.

 

“I swear to god, you are so ungrateful for everything. Why am I even trying?” Andy huffed. He closed his eyes and ran a hand up and down his face, missing the way Frank tensed at the words.

 

"Good question. Why are you trying?” Frank said. His voice void of any emotion. Andy looked up and saw the frown settled deep into Frank’s face. He suddenly wished he could take back those words…

 

“Because I want to. And because I have to. At the rate you’re going you won’t be able to save yourself.” Andy said quietly. His voice becoming serious. Frank didn’t look at Andy. He couldn’t.

 

The words he spoke just then were too close to home. Too familiar. Too telling… They reminded him too much of the person he so desperately wanted to forget. The same tone of his voice. The same circumstances. Everything felt the same. And it hurt more than Frank could bare. He needed a distraction. Something to take all the pain away…

 

Discarding the fact that Andy was still there, he headed for the kitchen and looked through his drawers. There had to be a nice sharp knife there somewhere. And suddenly as if the world had flipped, everything turned to echoes. Drowned out sounds of his name being called, as if he were violently shoved underwater. He found a knife, a good one too. But just before he could use it, his hand was grasped tightly.

 

“Frank. Look at me. Hey, Frank.” Andy called out calmly, yet there was a hint of distress in his voice. Frank blinked and everything was crystal clear again. The knife was slipped from his hand and replaced with Andy’s hand.

 

“Let go of me Andy.” Frank said quietly, his voice holding no joke or anger. Just a quiet request.

 

“No. Not right now.” Andy said. His voice almost mirroring Frank’s, but deeper and full of concern. Frank tried to take his hand from Andy’s, but Andy laced their fingers and tightened his grip on Frank’s hand.

 

“Andy please just let me go.” Frank said. He was tired. He just wanted to sleep for years and years. But Andy was preventing that from happening. The fucking guy just didn’t know when to-.

 

“I’m sorry.” Andy spoke up. Frank’s eyes widened slightly and he looked up at Andy. Andy looked down at Frank with a frown and his eyes turned a darker blue with sincerity. Frank felt something stirring in his stomach. And it clenched tightly forming a knot that sat heavy there.

 

Frank remembered this feeling. Remembered what it was associated with and what came from this feeling. And it sent trigger warnings throughout him. Telling him to back away. To get out as fast as he could. And he was extremely tempted to. But everything that was happening reminded him of…

 

“Frank..? Are you okay?” Andy asked. The sincerity dripping from his tone tore Frank apart. He was being so quiet and gentle. Not anything like he was last night. The fighting and arguing, Frank could handle all day. But the quiet, gentle prodding that Andy was doing, he couldn’t take it. It felt all too familiar. He needed to back out. To push him away. He couldn’t let Andy fool him. He’d been fooled once and he was still dealing with the aftermath.

 

Frank gripped Andy’s wrist and pulled it free from his other hand. Andy looked down at Frank in shock. Frank felt a pang in his chest at the look. He looked away from Andy’s eyes and stepped back.

 

“Leave Andy.” Frank said quietly. Andy didn’t know what to say at that moment. Memories were rushing through his mind, and regrets were making his temples throb.

 

“No Frank I’m not leaving you alone.” Andy said sternly. He wasn’t wavering, despite the rush of emotions that kept hitting him. Each time Frank rejected him, it left him vulnerable to the pain he had felt before. He had said that he wouldn't let emotions rule this time, last time emotions ruled the outcome was one he never wanted. But how could he not, it was like history repeating itself all over again. Andy closed his eyes and tried desperately to reel in his rushing emotions, but he realized that it wasn't so simple. That no matter what, his emotions would have some control over his actions. Like they did now.

 

"Andy I can't do this with you today. I really-. I just can't. If you want to harass me and hold me hostage on another night, then I can handle it. But not today." Frank said taking three steps back. Andy opened his eyes and stared coldly at Frank. Frank stopped retreating and looked up into Andy's eyes, which was a mistake.

 

"You think that's what I'm trying to do? You think I'm trying to hold you hostage here?" Andy asked angrily. All he was trying to do was help him and make sure that he would be okay. He couldn't watch someone else rot away like she did. If he watched that again, he wouldn't make it.

 

"What else do you want me to assume? That you legitimately give a fuck about me? That you really care whether I kill myself or not? I don't fucking believe it, Andy. No one gives a fuck and you can't expect me to believe that you do too." Frank said. His face was void of expression, and he kept his gaze locked with Andy's despite the churning that was happening in his stomach. Andy looked so angry and hurt; he kept reminding him of _him._ It was daunting.

 

"You're not the only one with a past. Not everything revolves around you and making you comfortable. Memories hurt and they fucking ache for a long time. I'm not here because I want to torture you. I'm not here because I like seeing you squirm. I hate seeing that, because I know I'm pushing you, but you need to be pushed and you don’t understand that." Andy lashed out. Frank frowned at that.

 

"I never asked you for this." Frank said quietly.

 

"Too fucking bad! I won't let you waste your life on living in the past!" Andy yelled. Frank flinched. "It's the same. She did the same. And I was too stupid to help her. I won't let you do the same." Andy said, losing steam finally. Frank wanted to question what he meant by 'She did the same', but decided against it.

 

"I'm sorry to tell you this Andy, but I'm not her. I'm not your ex-girlfriend and I refuse to be seen that way. I don't care that she broke your heart or left you, or whatever the fuck she did. I could care less if she fucking died. I don't want you here. I don't need your help-." Frank was cut off by Andy pushing him against the wall, and grabbing him by his shirt. Frank's eyes widened slightly as his back hit roughly against the wall. Andy's eyes looked harsh but sad all at the same time.

 

"Don't you say another fucking word about her. You don't know a fucking thing, Frank. Not a fucking thing." Andy's words were deep and quiet, his voice wavered and his hands shook as he loosened his grip on Frank's shirt. Andy backed up and looked away. His jaw was taut and he couldn't look Frank in the eyes. He walked away, running a hand through his short hair. Frank blinked slowly and watched as him. Frank frowned as he saw Andy leaving, for some reason deep inside him he wanted Andy to stay and keep fighting... Frank looked down at his hands. Frank looked up and wanted to say something. He felt terrible for the things he said.

 

"Andy..." Frank said. Andy sighed and turned to look at Frank. Frank said nothing just searched Andy's face. Andy frowned and looked down, Frank was almost sure he saw tears lining Andy's eyes, but Andy didn't wipe them away or attempt to hide his face.

 

"By the way, she did die, and she wasn't my girlfriend, I was just in love with her but she loved someone else. Today was their Anniversary." Andy spoke sadly. The churning in Frank's stomach suddenly turned to lead, adding to the already solid knot that sat there. Andy then turned and walked out of Frank's apartment.

 

After Andy left Frank felt awful for what the way he acted. And above all he was just upset with the whole day, so he decided to go to bed. He fell into bed and tried to sleep, but he found it a rather difficult feat. All he could think about was the things that were causing him distress. He buried his face in his pillows and sighed. His head was now pounding, and he really wanted his blade.

 

…

 

The next day before work Frank walked across the hallway and knocked on Andy's door. He didn't hear anything so he knocked again. He didn't really care if he woke Andy up. He wanted to get an apology out so that way he didn't feel like an intense dickhead all day. He heard humming and then heard footsteps coming to the door. Frank felt something turning in his stomach and he couldn't decide if it was because he hadn't eaten since lunchtime the previous day, or because he was nervous Andy would tell him to fuck off before he even got to apologize.

 

"Yeah?" Andy asked as he opened the door... In only a towel. Frank blinked for a few seconds before he sighed. Andy furrowed his eyebrows at the reaction. "Am I grotesque to you? What was that reaction for?" Andy asked almost offended. Frank couldn't help but smile slightly. Andy was something else...

 

_This guy may just make it through to me..._

 

"No you're not grotesque to me. You're the exact opposite and it is highly infuriating. But besides your nicely half naked body. I came here to talk to you." Frank said. Andy opened the door wide enough for Frank to slip in. Frank walked inside, trying to focus on what he had went there to say, but the words escaped him when his attention caught how nice Andy smelled.

 

"So what did you want to talk about?" Andy asked. Frank opened his mouth to speak, but forgot what he was going to say. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

 

"I wanted to apologize about last night... I know what I said was really out of line and you didn't deserve it. Not yesterday of all days." Frank said seriously. Frank saw Andy's light blue eyes darken momentarily. Andy then blinked and smiled down at the ground.

 

"It's okay Frank." Andy said. And just like that, he was forgiven. Frank was highly confused.

 

"That's it?" Frank asked. Andy chuckled and nodded.

 

"Yeah, that's it." Andy smiled. Frank was quiet for a moment. "I know you got some really bad news yesterday and I understand why you snapped like that. So it's okay." Andy said as he ran his hand through his wet hair. Frank could no longer think straight so he took a deep breath and looked away. "Oh wait before I forget, I'm gonna need you to move in." Andy said as he stretched his muscles, yawning.

 

"Yeah sure... Wait, what?! No fucking way." Frank cried out. He momentarily lost himself in the curves and dips of Andy’s muscles and his judgment had become impaired. He was growing to tolerate Andy, but he would definitely fucking murder him if he had to move in with him. So no, there was no way in hell he was moving in with Andy.

 

“Well you kinda have no choice unfortunately. Either you move in here or I move in with you. Take a pick.” Andy said as he walked past Frank.

 

“I’m not taking a pick damnit! I will live alone and you will live alone. That’s what’s gonna happen.” Frank said, becoming frustrated. Andy’s face then turned serious and he stopped his trek to the bedroom to turn to Frank. He walked over toward the other man and Frank took steps backward to get further away. Who knew what Andy was gonna do. The way his attitude changed from calm to angry in two seconds was a bit disconcerting. Andy ended up backing Frank up into a corner.

 

“Look. I’ve had enough of your shit, okay? You’re moving in and that’s final.” Andy said lowly.

 

“Uhm, no but thank you for the lovely offer.” Frank said, pressing his hand against Andy’s chest to move him back. This was a bad idea, feeling Andy’s slightly muscled chest beneath his palm.

 

“You have no choice.” Andy said, he then looked down at Frank’s hand and removed it from his chest gently.

 

“Look, I know you have a crush on me and all, but this isn’t happening.” Frank said when his mind was cleared of all the rated R thoughts that were rushing through his head.

 

"If anyone has a crush it’s you. You’ve been eye fucking me this whole time, and you have a semi. I’m going to get dressed and head to work. You have all day to take a pick. It’s your decision.” Andy said. He was about to back away when Frank shifted nervously.

 

“I’m not moving in with you.” Frank said. Andy then smiled and leaned dangerously close to Frank’s face. Frank blinked noticing Andy’s expression was a mix of multiple things, all of which Frank couldn’t decipher because he was too busy trying to keep his arousal at bay. Which definitely wasn’t happening at all.

 

"Then I'll move in with you.” Andy said, his breath fanning out across Frank’s lips. Frank felt his eyes glazing over.

 

“Ah no. No thank you.” Frank managed. Andy chuckled.

 

_He is doing this shit on purpose. He has to be. Has to…_

 

“Well tough luck, it isn’t your decision.” Andy said. He pressed his lips against Frank’s and Frank’s eyes slipped closed against his own will. But before Frank could enjoy the warm press, it was pulled away. Andy smiled at Frank as he opened his eyes enough to glare at Andy.

 

“I hate you.” Frank growled. Andy just laughed.

 

“Try telling that to your body. You should probably take care of that before you go to work.” Andy said. He winked and walked away into his bedroom. Frank was thoroughly aggravated and extremely aroused. Now he’d be late to work.

 

~

 

“Frank the only excuse I will take for you being late is that you were tangled up in the sheets with a hot man named Andy making you scream his name. Anything else I’m docking your pay twenty bucks.” Luke said with a bright smile.

 

“It has to do with Andy yes, but no we weren’t ‘tangled up in the sheets’.” Frank said as he took a drag from his freshly lit smoke. He flopped down on the couch next to Luke. Luke pulled the cigarette from his lips and took a long drag. “Something wrong?” Frank asked mildly annoyed with having his cigarette stolen.

 

“Jaime wants me to move in with him. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet.” Luke huffed around plume of smoke.

 

“That’s oddly similar to what my problem is.” Frank admitted, leaning back against the couch. Flashes of Andy’s half naked body kept running through his head. He blamed himself for it though, he hadn’t had any physical contact in so long and Andy was eliciting things from his body that he forgot he could feel.

 

“How? What happened?” Luke asked. He crossed his legs and faced Frank. Frank sighed.

 

“He wants me to move in with him." Frank managed without sighing. Luke's eyes lit up as he took another long drag from the cigarette he stole from Frank. Frank shook his head and pulled out the last cigarette from his pack, tossing the empty package into the bin across the room.

 

"And that's a bad thing how?" Luke asked. He flicked the ashes into a plastic cup set on the coffee table before them.

 

"I really don’t know him and I can barely tolerate him. How will that ever work?" Frank asked. It was now Luke's turn to sigh.

 

"What is your fucking problem Frank?" Luke asked, becoming highly annoyed with the older man's whining and complaining.

 

What?" Frank asked. He was confused. What was with the sudden switch in attitude?

 

"You have a smoking hot guy who wants to save you, and possibly bang you to oblivion and you can't stand him? That is insane, even for you. You need to suck it up and come to terms with the fact that you actually like him." Luke said as he stood up. He pushed the cigarette out in the plastic cup and stretched out.

 

"But I don't like him." Frank protested. Luke scoffed and rolled his eyes.

 

"You know, you're a bad liar. But it seems you have yourself convinced." Luke chuckled. Frank furrowed his eyebrows becoming increasingly offended.

 

"What the fuck are you talking about Luke?" Frank asked, getting angry.

 

"Frank, you like Andy. It's obvious. You're not mad because he barged into your life suddenly and you don't hate him. Your problem is, is that you can't see yourself with anyone but Gerard. Sorry to break it to ya, but that ship has sailed. And it definitely isn't coming back." Luke said in a rush of emotion. He cared for Frank and all the man was doing was creating more problems for himself. He was pushing away a perfectly good guy who wanted to see him happy, just because he still held a torch for Gerard.

 

Frank frowned and looked away from Luke. The kid obviously had no idea what he was talking about. Frank didn't like Andy. He tolerated him, and despite the feelings he got in his stomach when the man was around, he knew himself well enough to know that if anything it was lust he was feeling.

 

"You don't know what you're talking about." Frank said quietly. Luke just shook his head, turned and leaned down low enough to be directly in Frank's eyesight.

 

"No my dearest, it's you that doesn't know what you're talking about." Luke said. He took Frank's face in his hand and kissed him chastely on the lips. "Gerard is a piece of shit, who never deserved you in the first place. And being your best friend, I have to tell you that he isn't coming back, and he never will. I'm sorry." Luke said sincerely. Frank couldn't hold Luke's gaze and turned his eyes downward. Luke wrapped his arms awkwardly around Frank. The older man buried his face in his young friend's shoulder and closed his eyes. His arms slowly wrapped around him and held that way for a while. Luke was right. Frank just wished that he wasn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a Wattpad account where you can read this story and possibly some others. I made it cause I like doing OC stories too. But anyway you probably don't care. You probably just like 'ugh get on with it already' or have skipped this note entirely. But whatever lol Hope you guys like this chapter. ^_^

As Andy heard the door close to his apartment, he smiled. He knew Frank didn't hate him. He knew that Frank was struggling. So he tried his best to help him. And maybe if Frank moved in and stayed close, Andy could save him. He wanted to save Frank more than he wanted anything at the moment. He remembered the last time he wanted to save someone. It was her and that ended worse than he had imagined...

 

_Andy sighed as he walked into his apartment. He had had a long day at work and just wanted to get undressed and check on Kat. He knew how terribly she had been feeling lately and the cuts on her arms were coming around more frequently. He hated seeing them there, but he promised her that he wouldn't say anything or find anyone to help her because she'd be fine. Andy just wasn't so sure about that..._

 

Andy shook his head and sighed, not wanting or needing to bring back any of those old memories. Kat was in a better place, and he didn't have to hurt anymore. Or at least that was what he had tried to convince himself of. It wasn't always the easiest task to push a memory away.

 

_The feelings I felt were what ruined her last time. I can't let the same thing happen to Frank. I need to keep whatever I'm feeling for him out of this and focus on helping him the best way I can..._

 

Andy hurried and got dressed and left his apartment, heading off to work. He walked silently to work, frowning the whole way. He couldn't get the resemblances of Frank and Kat out of his mind. They were both so stubborn and cold. Andy wondered how he ever put up with the two of them. And then he remembered that Kat was the only thing he ever really had. And that was why he put up with her. He didn't know what his excuse was for putting up with Frank, besides the fact that he wanted to save him. Maybe it was because Frank was good looking? Andy really had no other explanations for it.

 

When Andy got to work his thoughts were cut short when he noticed that he had a note on his desk. Who the hell would he get a note from? Andy walked over to his desk and sat down, noticing that he had not one but two notes on his desk. One was from Mikey, asking how Frank was doing and to call him at the number he gave at the bottom of the sheet of paper. Why would he leave a note at Andy's work instead of just going to his apartment? Andy crumbled up the piece of paper and threw it in his small trash bin beside his desk. The second note was from someone named Luke. It was saying to stop by the Music store across the street after he got off work. Andy furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the store across the street. He saw Frank leaning against the counter handing change to someone. He gave a small smile to the teen boy and waved as he walked away. Andy smiled softly at the sight.

 

"It's not nice to throw an important message away." Andy jumped when he heard the familiar voice.

 

"Holy fuck. You just get creepier by the minute, don't you?" Andy asked. Mikey smirked and sat down in the chair in front of Andy's desk.

 

 "I try not to be, but my brother does rub off on me. Anyway, how is Frank?" He asked. Andy narrowed his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh.

 

"Didn't I tell you last time that I wasn't going to give you tabs on Frank?" Andy asked. Mikey leaned back in his chair and blinked lazily at the younger man. Andy raised an eyebrow, not bothered in the least by the light haired man sitting before him.

 

“But I could help.” Mikey said simply. Andy shook his head.

 

“So? I can do this on my own. I was doing it before you came around anyway. I don’t need you sticking your nose in my business.” Andy said getting a little hot under the collar.

 

_Now I get what Frank’s been saying…_

 

“Look. I’ve known Frank for longer than you have. I know more about him, and know him better than you do. You’ve been around for what? A week maybe. I’ve known him since we were teenagers. You have no claim, and his business is mine too.” Mikey said. Venom was dripping from his words, but Andy was far from scared.

 

“If that’s the case, then why aren’t you around?” Andy asked. Mikey met Andy’s eyes and then looked away, pain settling deep in the hazel pools.

 

“That wasn’t my choice. If I had it my way, I would be with Frank every second of every day. But it isn’t my choice and Frank doesn’t want me around. I did what I had to and he never forgave me for it.” Mikey said. He looked back up into Andy’s eyes and Andy felt a sadness inside him that he didn’t understand. Andy wasn’t usually sympathetic.

 

“What did you do?” Andy asked, hoping to get some information from somewhere. He was walking into battle blind. He needed some sort of clarification. But Mikey seemed hesitant to discuss anything.

 

Mikey looked down and remembered what he did. He remembered what he put Frank through. What Frank was still going through rather. Mikey felt sick to his stomach. He was young and he just wanted to protect Frank. Now it seemed he did the opposite. All he knew was what he felt.

 

“I… I can’t tell you that. Frank should discuss that with you. If he wants to.” Mikey said. He looked up and met Andy’s eyes again. “Did… Did you ever do something and then immediately after you did it, wished that you could take it all back, no matter how much you thought it would work?” Mikey asked. Andy froze for a moment. He knew exactly what that was like, he related to what Mikey had said on millions of different levels. And then he realized that Mikey may not have been as bad as Frank pegged him to be.

 

“Y-yeah. Yeah I know what you mean… Look… I need to get to work. But meet me at the bar down the street at eight, okay? I need to know some things.” Andy said. Mikey nodded and stood up. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets and turned around. He started to walk off and Andy relaxed majorly. He picked up a pen and grabbed some papers from his desk, attempting to clear his mind when he was interrupted again.

 

“Andy…” Mikey started from at least twenty feet away. Andy looked up and met Mikey’s hazel eyes once again. He frowned slightly. “Before we talk later. I need to tell you one thing.” Mikey continued, leaving Andy wondering what he was going to say.

 

“What is it?” Andy asked curiosity peaking.

 

“I’m in love with Frank. I have been since I first met him. That’s why I did, and am doing what I’m doing.” Mikey said. Andy felt a lurch in his stomach at the admission. Andy swallowed thickly and nodded. Mikey looked away and walked out of the bank.

 

~

 

Frank was leaning against the counter lazily when he looked up and noticed that Mikey was walking towards the store. Frank felt anger bubbling up in his stomach, hot and toxic. Mikey gripped the door handle and pulled it open, walking inside. Frank sighed.

 

“Luke is it time for my break yet?” Frank called out.

 

“Not even close you lazy sack of shit!” Luke called out happily. Mikey furrowed his eyebrows at the hidden voice. He was silent for a moment before he bit his lip and looked up at Frank. Frank looked bored and annoyed.

 

“What do you want Mikey?” Frank asked. His tone was neutral, but Mikey could sense the barely contained anger and resentment flowing from Frank. It hurt, but Mikey spoke up.

 

“I just wanted to know how you are..” Mikey said quietly. Frank narrowed his eyes.

 

“So you recruited Andy that fucker, to spy on me? Sorry to tell ya but if he tells you one damned thing about me, I will murder him and you.” Frank hissed. Mikey sighed. He rocked on his feet nervously. Frank always made him nervous.

 

“I know. He’s loyal. He already told me he wouldn’t give me tabs. That’s okay though I guess.” Mikey shrugged. Frank was growing tired of Mikey’s presence and Mikey could tell. But just seeing Frank made him feel better.

 

“Yeah about the only good thing about him. What do you want anyway?” Frank asked, trying to hurry up this unwelcome encounter. Mikey swallowed, three words sitting, ready to be spoken at the tip of his tongue. He swallowed them and shook his head.

 

“I just wanted to see you. I miss you ya know. It’s been a really long time since we hung out.” Mikey said with a sheepish smile.

 

“Yeah and for a reason. You know why I don’t like you. Yet you still keep coming around.” Frank said. Mikey frowned and looked away. He couldn’t help but feel that Frank was ungrateful. He never told Frank the truth. He couldn’t bare to. Not with the way Frank took Gerard leaving him. Frank was a mess. And it was all because of Mikey, or at least that was what Frank knew. And all that Mikey would allow him to know. Even if it made Frank hate him for the rest of his life.

 

"Oh well. I’m gonna keep coming around whether you like it or not.” Mikey said. And at that moment, that may have been the wrong thing for Mikey to say.

 

“Look. I don’t know what your fucking deal is. But whether it it’s because Gerard wants to know about me or because you feel bad for me, I don’t want you around. You never liked me before, why are you so interested now?” Frank asked. Mikey felt a sharp pang in his chest at Frank’s words. Mikey shook his head.

 

“You know, you have always been so fucking blind, Frank. You always thought it was one sided what happened back then, but if you would have paid the fuck attention, then you wouldn’t still be this fucked up. I was always there for you. You seem to forget that.” Mikey said. Frank was stunned silent. He couldn’t believe Mikey was standing in front of him saying what he was saying. Gerard walked out on him without a word. What was there for him to be blind to?

 

_How am I blind? Does he remember that Gerard left without a fucking word because of what he said? Did he forget all of that?_

 

“What am I fucking missing? Because the last time I checked, you ran and told Gerard something that wasn’t true.” Frank asked. Mikey then sighed. His face softening as he looked away. Frank furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what was going on. What was he _really_ missing? “Mikey. What do you know?” Frank asked seriously.

 

“Nothing I’m going to tell you.” Mikey said quietly. He turned and walked out of the music store. Frank was confused. He knew there was something Mikey was hiding and Frank would find out once and for all. This could be the closure he needed. He ran from behind the counter and followed after Mikey.

 

"Mikey!" Frank yelled after him. Mikey turned around and sighed. Frank walked up to him and huffed. “What do you know that I don’t? Tell me now.” Frank demanded. Mikey shook his head. “Mikey!” Frank snapped.

 

“I’m not telling you. I refuse to tell you.” Mikey said finally. Frank was growing angrier by the second. What did Mikey know damnit?

 

“Tell me now!” Frank yelled. People around them were starting to look. Mikey didn’t care much though. And neither did Frank. “Mikey I swear to-!” Frank was cut short when Mikey pressed his hands to either side of Frank’s face and pulled him in, crashing their lips together. Frank was startled, and tried to pull away, but Mikey wasn’t letting go. So Frank stopped trying to pull away and kissed Mikey back.

 

Frank didn’t close his eyes like Mikey had at first. He was assessing the kiss. It was softer than the kiss he shared with Andy two days prior. It felt nice and not just like releasing tension that had built up. It felt familiar. He wasn’t sure why, but it did. So he slipped his eyes closed and pressed into Mikey. Mikey hummed and pulled away.

 

“I won’t tell you anything. I can’t. Not now and not ever.” Mikey said, trying to catch his breath. “I will tell you one thing though.” Mikey said, his eyes meeting Frank’s green ones.

 

“What?” Frank asked as Mikey dropped his hands from Frank’s face. Mikey looked down and bit his lip before releasing it and looking back up at him.

 

“I have loved you since I met you. And I have always loved you more than Gerard ever did. Just know that.” Mikey said after a short silence.

 

“M-Mikey?” Frank squeaked. Mikey chuckled and looked away as a blush crossed his cheeks.

 

“You don’t have to love me back. I’m used to it by now. I just figured you should know.” Mikey said. He curled his fingers loosely in Frank’s shirt and pulled him in for one last kiss. This time it wasn’t so shocking, and Frank kissed back right away. Mikey smiled as he pulled away. “Even if I never see you again, please Frankie, let him help you. Take care of yourself. If not for you, then do it for me. Even though I know I let you down.” Mikey said, his voice wavering. Frank suddenly felt his stomach sink. Mikey pulled away fully and as his eyes started to water and he hiked up his hood, running down the street. Frank didn't know what the hell was going on, but he knew that the way it felt to have Mikey so close after not seeing him for so long was nice. Frank did forget that there was a time when he and Mikey were close. It had been after Gerard had left. Before Mikey had told Frank what really happened to make Gerard leave. So Frank chased after Mikey.

 

"Mikey! Wait!" Frank called. He ran down the street as fast as he could, trying to chase down Mikey. But he had gotten lost in the crowd and Frank managed to fall and twist his ankle. He cursed under his breath and punched the pavement, scraping up his knuckles. He hissed and examined the damage. He went to get up when he saw Andy running toward him.

 

"Frank, are you alright?" Andy asked as he offered a hand out to Frank. Frank took it and groaned as a sharp pain ran through his ankle. "You probably sprained your ankle. Let's get you back to the music store.” Andy said. He wrapped Frank’s arm around his waist and helped him carry his weight back to the store. When they got back to the store someone came running to the front to see Frank.

 

“Frank are you okay?” He asked. Andy wasn’t sure who it was. This was the first time he’d walked into the music store.

 

“I’m fine Luke. I just sprained my ankle is all.” Frank grumbled. He seemed out of it. Andy raised an eyebrow at the name Luke. He stared at the younger man and wondered what he wanted Andy for after he got out of work. Andy forgot that and paid attention to Frank. He seemed a little lost, and Andy felt bad about it.

 

“How about I get you home? You shouldn’t be walking on that ankle.” Andy offered. Luke bit his lip and nodded.

 

“Yeah that might be best. Don’t come in tomorrow either. Just rest your ankle and I’ll see you in on Monday.” Luke said. Frank rolled his eyes at the younger man.

 

“You worry too much.” Frank said quietly, but he didn’t argue. Andy helped Frank out of the store and they walked haphazardly back to their apartment building. Once they finally got to their floor Andy made to unlock his door and Frank was still silent, thinking things over. Andy was surprised Frank wasn’t putting up much of a fight.

 

"You okay?" Andy asked as he helped sit Frank down on the couch and elevate his ankle. Frank blinked for a few moments before he blurted something out.

 

“Kissing you was weird…” Frank managed, through the onslaught of thoughts rushing through his head. Andy furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed.

 

“Thanks for that.” Andy said with a chuckle. Frank shook his head as he reclined on the couch.

 

“No… I mean… Mikey kissed me today. And it was… It was…” Frank trailed off.

 

“Good? Bad? Fucking fantastic?” Andy asked. Frank sighed. But shook his head with a small smile on his face.

 

“You’re an idiot.” Frank laughed. Andy smiled, and kept silent waiting for Frank to speak up. Frank then lost his smile and started to talk. “It felt nice. He felt familiar. It was different from what happened with us the other day.” Frank explained. He was confused. He was sure he hated Mikey’s guts for what he did. But kissing him felt like the right thing to do.

 

"That's because we were angry. We were upset with one another and it showed. Mikey wasn’t angry with you. He just misses you.” Andy spoke easily. Frank looked at Andy and studied him for a moment.

 

“Don’t you like me? Why are you all for Mikey? I woulda thought that you wouldn’t like him.” Frank said. Andy smirked and raised an eyebrow at Frank.

 

“I think you’re good looking and I wouldn’t mind being with you. But that isn’t the reason I’m doing all of this.” Andy said simply. Frank took his turn to raise an eyebrow.

 

“Then what is your reason? And I swear to god if you say redemption again, I will murder you.” Frank warned. Andy smiled then.

 

“No. I won’t. But you remind me so much of someone I knew, and cared for. I messed up with them before and it ended up badly. I just… I wanted to help you and make sure I did it right this time. I just want you to get better and be happy. That’s all.” Andy elaborated. Frank was quiet as he took in what Andy had said. Frank then felt kinda shitty because of the hard time he gave Andy. He then pushed his luck, and asked a question he probably shouldn’t have asked.

 

“Was it her?” Frank asked softly. Andy looked up at him and there was this tortured look in his eyes and he frowned, looking away. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before looking back up.

 

“Yeah… It was her. I was in love with her since we were kids. She fell in love with someone else, and they were happy too. Things were perfect and I was even happy for her. But… Things got bad, and… She died. They’re now both buried in the cemetery a few blocks over. I visit them every Valentine’s Day and bring flowers.” Andy spoke gently. Frank felt his heart break. He then sat up straight and pulled Andy in for a hug. Andy was shocked at first. But Frank was surely full of surprises that day. Andy chuckled and hugged Frank back.

 

“Gosh… Your life is just so fucked up.” Frank said. Andy then narrowed his eyes and pushed Frank away.

 

“You’re a dick.” Andy said. Frank chuckled.

 

“Sorry. It was getting really emotional and I might have cried. So I needed to do something.” Frank said through chuckles. Andy smiled a small smile and then stood up. “Where are you going?” Frank asked.

 

“I have to get back to work before my boss takes my paycheck as recompense for my absence.” Andy said as he stretched. Frank frowned. “Aw you’re gonna miss me aren’t you?” Andy asked. Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah right. Does anyone ever miss being kicked in the dick?” Frank asked. Andy punched his arm playfully.

 

“I’m going out tonight actually. So you’ll be alone for a while. But you can call me or whatever if you need me.” Andy said. Frank raised an eyebrow.

 

“Do you have a date?” Frank asked. Andy shook his head.

 

“Nah, I’m just gonna go get a drink with one of my friends. That’s all. I shouldn’t be out too long anyway.” Andy mumbled to himself more than Frank. Frank nodded. Andy leaned down and kissed Frank’s forehead.

 

“What was that for?” Frank asked. Andy smiled.

 

“Because, when you’re not a complaining asshole you’re actually really nice to be around.” Andy said, his smile never leaving his face. Frank chuckled and flipped Andy the bird. “See ya. And if you need anything let me know.”

 

“Yeah yeah.” Frank said.

 

“Oh and Frank.” Andy started. Frank looked over and Andy smiled again. “You’re not gonna find it anywhere. So just rest your ankle.” Andy said. He looked like the Cheshire Cat. Frank waved his hand at Andy. But when the door closed behind him, Frank groaned.

 

“Fuck!” Frank snapped. He could hear Andy laughing as he walked down the hallway.

 

Now that Frank was alone, he felt his stomach sink further down than he thought it could. There was a lot he had to think about. Andy and Mikey. What was going on with each of them? He felt terrible about everything. Obviously there was more to Andy than he expected. And there were definitely things that Mikey never said.

 

_What is Mikey hiding? What isn’t he telling me?_

 

Frank knew that it had to do with everything that happened between him and Gerard all those years ago. Mikey had said he was blind and if he would have paid attention that he wouldn’t be as fucked up as he still is. It didn’t make sense. And Mikey wasn’t willing to tell him anything. So all Frank could do was sit and think everything over.

 

_Did I do something? Did Gerard do something? What am I missing here?!_

 

_‘ I have loved you since I met you. And I have always loved you more than Gerard ever did.’_

 

“Is that why he lied?” Frank asked himself almost silently. Frank set his head back against the arm of the couch. Thinking things over. “Was he jealous? That would make sense.” Frank said. But deep down he felt that even if Mikey was insanely jealous he would never sabotage Frank’s happiness. So what the hell was it?

 

_I’m missing something big and I can feel it… Mikey… What are you not telling me?_

 

Frank sighed and his hands went up to his face. He rubbed up and down his face and wished he knew what he should be thinking of. He didn’t understand and it was infuriating. He just wished that Mikey would tell him. Just spill what he was hiding. Frank was sure that if he knew what it was he was missing, he could get over it. And move on with his life finally.

 

_Mikey loves me..? He really loves me..._

 

_Frank had curled himself up in a ball on the couch. He hadn’t moved for days. How could he when he just lost the love of his life? And he didn’t even know why. He had been waiting ten years for Gerard. Ten years of his life to start being happy with the one he loved and seemingly just as quickly as he gained it, he was losing it…_

_“Frankie..?” Mikey called out as he walked into Frank’s apartment. Frank curled deeper into the couch and away from the voice. He didn’t want to speak to anyone. Not unless it was Gerard._

_“I don’t wanna talk Mikey. Please go.” Frank mumbled quietly as Mikey walked into the living room. Mikey sighed behind him and sat next to him on the couch. “Mikey, please.” Frank begged. Mikey frowned._

_“I’m not leaving you when you’re like this Frank. No way.” Mikey said carefully. Frank tangled his hand in his hair and looked away from Mikey. He felt so pathetic. But it wasn’t by choice. He lost everything he cared about. The one person he had waited a huge chunk of his life for, was now gone. And without a word. Without even a goodbye. Nothing._

_“Tell me why Mikey please…” Frank begged. He was pleading for some answer. He just needed to know. Then he could fix it. And he could make things right again. But for now he was sitting in the dark._

_“I’m sorry Frankie. I can’t. I just…” Mikey said. His voice strained as he spoke sadly to the man before him. The man he loved in secret…_

_“I just wanna know how to make this right… Please Mikey I’ll do anything…” Frank pleaded desperately. Mikey felt his chest tighten and he looked away. He couldn’t tell Frank. He just couldn’t. Frank would hate him. And Mikey would never be able to deal with that. It was selfish yes, but Mikey was entitled after loving him for so long and not being loved in return. At least that’s what Mikey was convincing himself of…_

_“I’m so sorry Frank…” Mikey said, his voice wavering. Frank groaned and a choked sob left his mouth._

_“Mikey…” Frank whined. Mikey covered his face with his hands and tried to fight back the raging emotions he was feeling. Why was it so hard to not say anything?_

_“I-I…” Mikey trailed off._

_“Hold me please..” Frank requested. Mikey looked over at Frank as he let his hands drop from his face. Mikey swallowed and moved closer. He fidgeted awkwardly and wrapped himself around Frank. Holding him together as best as he could._

 

“God I was so pathetic back then.” Frank mumbled to himself. He shook his head and thought back to how it felt then to be held by Mikey. He missed it in a weird way. He missed Mikey suddenly. He sighed sadly and thought of calling Andy. But he was at work and he didn’t want to bother him. Since when did he care for Andy? “Hmph, since he actually gives a fuck about me.” Frank chuckled dryly. He couldn’t help but really miss Andy and Mikey. It was confusing though because he missed them each in the same way.

 

He liked Andy and was becoming close to him. Slowly but surely, mind you. But still it felt good to have him around. The man was also a good kisser which was a bonus. Frank shook his head and sighed again. Mikey… Since those kisses, Frank could not get Mikey out of his head. All the things he was missing and all the memories that kept flying through his mind at lightning speed. It was stressing.

 

Before he knew it he was sitting up in a rush, the breath rushing out of his lungs and a panic rising inside his chest. He couldn’t breathe. He felt warm tears rushing down his cheeks and he knew what was happening. And he knew he needed to stop it before he got hurt again. So he focussed. He concentrated on steadying his breathing. On thinking of things that made him happy.

 

And as much of a contradiction that was. He thought of Andy and Mikey. How they made him feel. How much they wanted his happiness. And how hard they were willing to work with him to make it happen. Even though he was a prick to them most of the time. And then he found himself smiling. And the tears he was crying from stress, turned into tears of joy.

 

Despite the storm of shit he knew he was in for inevitably, because of his past and the secrets Mikey was keeping. And the ndnagging that Andy would undoubtedly continue tHo do. He would be okay. Because even though they stressed him out. They made him happier just as easily.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the epic long delay. This time it wasn't just my intense laziness. I promise. Family problems that take up a lot of time nowadays. But I will try and keep this as updated as possible. I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> Also I want to say this. This story is not supposed to be a happy one. It isn't a fairy tale and it's messed up. 
> 
> But...
> 
> Jadiepoo has a thing for happy endings. Keep that in mind. ;)

When Andy got back to work it was fast and hectic. He was thankful for the distraction. It kept his mind off of all the troubling thoughts that would have been rushing through his head.

 

He felt a tug in his chest all day for some odd reason. It felt familiar and cutting and Andy wanted to forget it. But it kept tugging and tugging until he finally snapped and thought about what it was. Which was the last thing he wanted to do before going to meet with Mikey. But his heart had other plans. Like it always did.

 

Immediately Andy knew what the feeling was. It reminded him of her. Of losing her to someone else. And suddenly Andy realized that exactly what he was feeling, was exactly what was happening. Andy sighed and leaned back in his chair, running his hands down his face. Why did he always have feelings for the ones with the most problems? Why did he find some sense of worth in helping them? It was insane and it broke his heart each time. But that didn’t mean Andy was in love with Frank. He wasn’t. But he just felt some deep connection with him. Some connection on another level and he knew Frank had to feel it too. It was obvious really.

 

“Jeez, you look like you just got hit by a bus.” Kellin laughed walking up to Andy’s desk. Andy smirked.

 

“Really? Cause I feel like I was hit by a train.” Andy smiled.

 

“Ohh, I see. Loooovvveee problems hmm?” Kellin asked. Andy raised an eyebrow and sat up straight in his chair. Kellin sat in the chair before Andy’s desk and leaned his arm on the desk, setting his head in his hand.

 

“Maybe. Maybe not. But that my friend is none of your business.” Andy said, leaning his arms against his desk. Kellin poked his tongue out at Andy.

 

“I’m just curious is all. You’re so mysterious. No one really knows anything about you. Oh, and who was that guy that came in looking for you? He was a bit lanky. But oh man, his hands were just great.” Kellin wiggled his eyebrows. Andy shook his head.

 

“Vic wouldn’t like to hear you say that.” Andy said. Kellin rolled his eyes.

 

“Oh whatever. As if I don’t see him checking out Jaime across the street half the time. It’s no big deal as long as you’re just looking. But anyway. I should let you head home to do more mysterious Andy Biersack stuff.” Kellin said. Andy rolled his eyes and stood. He gathered his things and walked around his desk.

 

“Night Kellin.” Andy said. Kellin waved, not moving from the seat in front of Andy’s desk.

 

“Night Andy.” Kellin mumbled. Andy walked out of his workplace and was about to head home. But he stopped in his tracks and looked at the music store he had been in earlier that day. Should he go and talk to Luke? Or should he just head home and change? Andy bit his lip for a fraction of a second and then crossed the street walking to the music store. He walked in and looked around. He hadn’t really paid much attention to his surroundings earlier that day. He was a little preoccupied to say the least…

 

“ANDY!” Luke cried. He walked out from a back room and smiled. Andy raised an eyebrow.

 

“Hey...” Andy said unenthusiastically. Luke rolled his eyes.

 

“So you’re the hot stuff taking care of Frankie? Nice. Very nice.” Luke said as he bit his lip sizing Andy up. Andy furrowed his eyebrows.

 

_Oh, oh! So this is the perverted little fuck Frank was talking about…_

 

“Okay..? I guess...” Andy said, trying to avoid being ogled by the young man standing before him. “So what exactly did you need to talk to me about?” Andy asked. Shifting almost uncomfortably under his gaze. Luke looked up and nodded. His expression turned serious then and he stood up straighter.

 

“It’s about Frank. Obviously.” Luke said. Andy was just a little bit tired of people coming to him about Frank’s welfare. But who exactly was he to say anything when he was only around for less than a week..?

 

“Okay. And you’re close with Frank?” Andy asked. He wasn’t clear about much that had to do with why Frank was so messed up. So if he could squeeze any information at all from anyone that was close to him, he’d have a clearer idea of how to help him.

 

“I’m his best friend.” Luke said. Andy’s eyebrows shot up at that, and then he cleared his face of emotion, before nodding. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad you’re trying to take care of him, and make him better. And despite how he acts, he really does like you. I’m not sure if he noticed it yet, but he does. I know him.” Luke spoke with a small smile. Andy looked away for a moment, not used to being praised for what he was doing. But he smiled and nodded again.

 

“Yeah. Thanks.” Andy said. Luke smiled brighter.

 

“So, going home to Frank?” Luke wiggled his eyebrows and any nice thoughts of the guy before him faded. He rolled his eyes.

 

“No actually. I’m going out. I’m meeting a friend for some drinks.” Andy said.

 

“Oh that Mikey guy right.” Luke deduced. Andy’s eyebrows furrowed at that.

 

“How did you know that?” Andy asked. Luke raised an eyebrow.

 

“Uh oh, is this a secret?” Luke asked. Andy’s jaw tightened. The last thing he needed was this kid going back and telling Frank that he was meeting up with Mikey behind his back.

 

“Sort of.” Andy said. And his cold tone and vicious glare leveled Luke thankfully.

 

“Okay, okay. I won’t say a word. Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.” Luke said making a sloppy ‘x’ over his heart. Andy rolled his eyes.

 

“Good. Is that all?” Andy asked. Luke smiled.

 

“Send me nudes?” Luke asked. Andy turned and walked away from Luke and exited the store. He could hear laughter as he walked away. Andy shook his head as he made his way home. Once he got to his apartment he unlocked the door and pushed it open. He walked in to see Frank asleep. Andy grinned in a goofy way, finding some sort of happiness in seeing Frank asleep on his couch. But all was cut short when Frank’s eyes blinked open and looked over.

 

“Oh, you’re home...” Frank mumbled. Andy nodded. He walked in and shut the door behind him. He set his work things down on the coffee table and sat on the edge of the couch where Frank was now attempting to sit without moving his ankle around too much. It still hurt, obviously.

 

"Yeah." Andy said. He looked down at Frank assessing him carefully. The only thing out of place since he left was that his eyes looked red, and a little bloodshot. Andy furrowed his eyebrows at this. Had Frank been crying? “Hey, are you okay?” Andy asked. Frank was a proud man, and coming flat out and asking if he was crying would just make him defensive. Andy really didn’t want to revert back to where they had been barely tolerating each other. He liked the progression of carefree support they had established.

 

“Yeah... Just have a head ache and had a full out panic attack earlier. They’re draining…” Frank trailed off, rubbing at his eye. Andy felt concerned.

 

“I’m staying home. Is there anything you need?” Andy said starting to get up.

 

“No you’re not. Go out, I’m fine.” Frank mumbled with a yawn. Andy looked down severely uncertain and entirely unwilling to leave Frank now that he noticed the dried tear tracks on his cheeks.

 

"But Frank you-." Andy protested. Frank shook his head. Stopping him from making any excuses to stay home.

 

“I’m fine I told you. Go change and go out. I’m not a child.” Frank insisted swatting at Andy’s hand to make him move. Andy wasn’t sure if it was his uncertainty about meeting Mikey or his concern for Frank that was keeping him grounded. Talking to Luke rattled Andy a bit. And now since things were smoother between them suddenly –thankfully because the kiss Mikey had given him earlier that day sated some of his pent up anger- he didn’t want to ruin it by potentially breaking Frank’s trust. But truth be told, trying to help someone when you have no fucking clue about what happened is like the blind leading the blind. He needed to talk to Mikey. Frank wouldn’t tell him a thing. And Andy was definitely not putting his neck on the line to be snapped by Frank if he asked anything.

 

“I think I should stay.” Andy said, nodding his head. Seemingly making a decision. Despite not knowing a thing, and needing information, what weighed heavier on Andy’s shoulders was the choice. He hadn’t made the right choices back when Kat was around. And he didn’t want to make the same mistakes he had when she was around. Not knowing what to do was worse than needing to know at least a little something.

 

Frank noticed the uneasiness in Andy's eyes. He looked nervous and fidgety and Frank suddenly knew what the problem was. It made Frank frown, knowing that Andy was watching his steps extra cautiously. It made Frank feel like he was hiding something. And to be honest he probably was. But Frank told himself it wasn’t his business. If Andy was going out with someone who was he to stop it? But then Frank put two and two together given the information he was told earlier that day. Frank sighed then. Sitting up and patting the seat next to him so Andy would sit. Andy raised an eyebrow halfheartedly, worry still heavily lining his features, but sitting next to him anyway.

 

“You should rest your-.” Andy tried but Frank shut him up.

 

“Shut up for a second,” Frank started. He took a deep breath and then looked over at Andy. “Look. I know you’re watching your every move. And making sure each step you take is the right one. But I need you to know this and understand this. I’m not…” Frank continued, but stopped not wanting to make his next words seem like a snap or have any lingering resentment lining them. So he softened his features and looked Andy directly in the eye, making his point known. “… Her…” He finished gently. Andy swallowed.

 

“Yeah... I know.” Andy mumbled after he cleared his throat. A habit he acquired long ago, always feeling like his throat was closing up whenever she was mentioned. Frank nodded.

 

“Do you?” Frank asked quietly. This quiet, almost understanding tone that Frank was speaking in was throwing Andy off and making him feel things tenfold. It was quiet and gentle and Andy was really having a hard time with it.

 

“Yes. I do.” Andy said. It was a bit curter than he wanted it to be, but he couldn’t help it. Frank sensed this and took a deep breath deciding to turn things around and go down a different direction.

 

“I’m okay. Really. You don’t need to worry as much about me as you did when you looked after her. She went through something ten times more traumatic than I did. She had it harder than I do. So stop worrying, and go have a drink. And have one for me too cause I need it.” Frank spoke up, trying to lighten the mood. At first he thought it hadn’t worked, but then Andy nodded and a small smile slipped across his lips. He looked up at Frank and his smile grew. Frank was relieved when he knew it had worked and Andy would be going out. Andy stood up and went into his room, then a couple minutes later he left his room and entered the bathroom. The shower then began and Frank had to make himself think of things other than Andy’s naked body.

 

_Fuck I bet he looks fan-fucking-tastic naked. That is so damn aggravating. Why did I need to see him in only a towel this morning..?_

 

Andy slipped into his shower and let the water cascade over his skin. Creating minuscule rivers across the expanse of his muscles. He bowed his head and the rushing sound of water drowned everything else out for a minute. He was thankful for that minute. He needed it to even be able to talk to Mikey. Andy’s face then cringed. For some reason, looking at Mikey would be difficult to do that night. He wasn’t sure why, seeing as he had no claim over Frank. Especially not after only less than a week. But he felt it nonetheless. He just had to convince himself that he felt that way because Frank and Kat were a lot alike in many ways. He wasn’t so sure it would work though. He hurried up and washed himself, trying to clear his thoughts before he met up with Mikey. He got out of the shower and was padding through the hallway to get back to his room when he noticed Frank reclined on the couch, a furious blush on his face.

 

“You okay?” Andy asked. Frank’s eyes blinked open and he looked over. His eyes widened slightly before he closed them quickly.

 

“Go get dressed!” Frank snapped. Andy’s eyebrows raised.

 

“Okay… You sure you’re alright?” Andy asked again. Frank growled and covered his face.

 

“Just go! My god!” Frank hissed. Andy furrowed his eyebrows and walked into his bedroom. He closed the door behind him and shook his head. He dried himself off and then smiled knowing that Frank was flustered because of him.

 

_Mikey may be back, and in love with him. But it isn’t so cut and dry between Frank and me. There’s something there, I can feel it._

 

But as Andy was snickering to himself, he suddenly felt guilty. Mikey made a mistake. He wanted to fix it and was going through Andy, trusting him, to help him fix it. Andy sighed to himself. He didn’t want to break Mikey’s trust. He didn’t deserve that if he was trying to make amends. Andy was becoming quite annoyed with himself. One second he was hurt, and the next he was guilty. Andy didn’t know what was happening and he wasn’t sure he wanted too. All he knew was that… Mikey belonged there. More so than Andy did. This wasn’t Andy’s fight. And he shouldn’t fight for it. That was up to Frank and Mikey. Right then, Andy knew what he had to do.

 

…

 

“ _All the boys are smoking menthols_

_Girls are getting back rubs._

_I will get to you if you make yourself shake fast enough._

_My old aches become new again._

_My old friends become exes again._

_Woah where did the party go?_

_We’re ending it on the phone._

_I’m not gonna go home alone._

_Woah where did the party go?”_ The song went as people chatted and laughed. Some were huddled together in the corner drinking and whispering to each other and others were sitting at the bar flirting blatantly. Andy sighed. Things were running through his head as if there was a marathon being held, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. So he shook his head and made his way to one of the stools in front of the bar and sat down. Blowing out a stressed breath.

 

“Long day?” Someone asked. Andy looked up and was met with a beautiful pair of blue eyes. The man before him raised an eyebrow at the lack of response. Andy then smirked and looked down again. “I’ll take that as a yes then. What can I get you?” The man asked. Andy looked up and was bordering on laughing like a crazy person.

 

“I have no fucking idea. Just a beer I guess.” Andy said, running a hand through his still wet hair. The man smiled and turned away for a moment. He came back a few seconds later with an uncapped beer bottle in his hand, setting it down on a white napkin.

 

“Anything else?” The man asked. Andy took a long sip from his bottle before he set it back down on the napkin again.

 

"Why do I feel like you just gave me the most expensive beer you have?” Andy asked. The man smiled a big smile and winked at him.

 

“Because I did.” He said. Andy smiled back. He was about to walk away when Andy reached out and grabbed his hand gently.

 

"What's your name?" Andy asked. The man bit his lip as if contemplating something, then let it go.

 

“Luke. I’m Luke, and you are?” He asked, flicking his tongue over his lip ring that Andy just noticed was there.

 

“Andy. Nice to meet you Luke.” Andy replied, letting Luke’s hand go gently. Luke nodded. He then walked away over to someone else who would need his service. Andy watched Luke for a few moments, sipping idly at his beer. Luke would catch him every so often and laugh.

 

_I like him. He’s kinda really hot. And he has this sexy as fuck accent…_

 

“Seems to me like you have a bit of a crush.” Luke said as he placed another beer in front of Andy. Andy raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’re quite forward aren’t you?” Andy asked. Luke shrugged as he wiped part of the bar from some spilled alcohol.

 

“I don’t like to beat around the bush. Pining definitely isn’t my thing. But I get the vibe that it’s yours.” Luke said, as he leaned against the bar. Andy smirked.

 

“Just a little. It’s not my fault though.” Andy said. Luke smiled and chuckled.

 

“Really now? Well I guess I’ll have to change that then. No sense in pining when we both know we like each other.” Luke said simply. Andy was highly amused at Luke’s forwardness. It was refreshing.

 

“Maybe.” Andy chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.

 

“What, you don’t like me?” Luke asked, as he tilted his head slightly. Andy almost choked, which made Luke laugh.

 

“I never said that.” Andy laughed, wiping his face with his hand.

 

“Okay then. My shift ends in an hour. Meet me outside.” Luke said suggestively. Andy wasn’t even sure how it all happened. But he agreed nevertheless, with a nod. Luke stood up straight and walked away to serve someone further down the bar.

 

“You’re confusing.” Came a voice from beside him. Andy flinched but sighed.

 

“Fucking hell Mikey.” Andy grumbled. Mikey barely smirked and raised an eyebrow. “How by the way?” Andy asked after he got over the shock.

 

“Don’t you like Frank?” Mikey asked. Andy frowned for a moment before he took a deep breath and looked over at Mikey. Mikey frowned suddenly, startled slightly by the forlorn look on Andy’s face.

 

“I do… But I think it’s for the wrong reasons. And uhm…” Andy trailed off. Suddenly the reminder of what his thoughts carried was painful.

 

“What?” Mikey asked quietly. Not trying to push.

 

“Frank… Uh, when you kissed him and told him you loved him today, he seems in a way better mood than he ever was with me alone. So I don’t think that he knows it. But it’s not me that should be with him. It’s you.” Andy spoke quietly. Mikey didn’t say anything but looked down.

 

“You don’t know that Andy.” Mikey said. He had the thought of Frank never loving him back programed into his head for years. And hearing Andy say that Frank actually loved him..? It was… Gosh it was weird. Hope was bubbling up inside him and he wanted to squash it before it got out of control. Frank would never love him back. Mikey knew that.

 

“I do actually.” Andy started. He took a deep breath and a long sip of his beer before speaking again. “The other night, we kissed. And when I was talking to him today, he told me kissing me was weird… But that kissing you was nice.” Andy said. Mikey looked up then and stared openly at Andy, reading him for any signs of a lie. But there were none. Andy wasn’t lying.

 

“He really said that?” Mikey asked. The way he was shy and hesitant almost made Andy smile. It was actually really nice to see someone love Frank for him, uninhibited and willing to make him happy. Even after all those years of watching as he loved someone else. One thing was for sure, Mikey was resilient.

 

"Yeah he did.” Andy said. Mikey smiled a small smile. He then shook his head and looked at Andy, his face going serious.

 

“I should probably tell you some things.” Mikey said quietly. He almost couldn’t hear Mikey over the music and voices.

 

“Yeah. You probably should.” Andy nodded. Mikey bit his lip for a second before opening his mouth. He started from the beginning. Transitioning his way unbiased through the whole background of what Frank and Gerard went through. As he listened, Andy felt his heart ache and clench at the events that transpired.

 

Hearing the way Frank used to be, made Andy frown deeply. Mikey explained both sides thoroughly. Leaving out no details and no deeds that would make one look better than the other. It was all laid out on the table. Short, -sour- and to the point. And when he finished, he looked into Andy’s eyes expectantly. Waiting for him to speak and tell him what happened was wrong, right, or somewhere blurry in between.

 

“So… You did it to protect him.” Andy spoke. Mikey nodded. Andy ran his hand through his hair then down his face. “You did it so he wouldn’t know.” Andy finished. His words were meant to come out as questions, but fell into statements, not really needing an answer. Mikey nodded again.

 

“It was a hard decision to make. My brother or Frankie. But I had to do the right thing.” Mikey spoke quickly. And even though his words and speech were unbiased, his actions clearly were. Andy just sat quietly. Letting it all sink in. The way he described Frankie before, was so completely different to the way Frankie was now. Andy felt like punching something. “Andy..?” Mikey called. Andy looked over at him and cleared his thoughts.

 

“Yeah..?” Andy replied not trusting himself to throw something across the room. Like the chair he was sitting on.

 

“Do you love Frankie..?” Mikey asked. It was simple, and there was no emotion lining his tone. But the look in his eyes… The way his eyes looked black and nervous in the dark bar light, Andy knew. He just knew there was no way he could hurt Mikey like that.

 

“No. I have feelings for him that aren’t platonic, but Mikey. Frank is yours. He should have been from the start.” Andy said reassuring the older man. Mikey nodded. “I just want him to get better.” Andy said with a nod. Mikey tilted his head to the side.

 

“I never did ask. But… Why is that?” Mikey asked, wondering for the first time, why exactly Andy wanted to help Frank in the first place. Andy took a deep breath and downed the last of his beer before straightening out his jacket and standing. Andy then smiled to himself as a flash of Kat smiling appeared in his head.

 

“Because he reminds me of someone I loved. I made a mistake the first time around. I wanna fix that mistake this time.” Andy answered. His answer to the question was becoming more eloquent as time went on. Mikey seemed to soften at the answer and nod. He stood and took a deep breath.

 

“I’m gonna head home. Please tell me how he’s doing..?” Mikey asked, nervous Andy would decline. Andy just chuckled.

 

“Of course. You have my number right?” Andy asked. Mikey nodded and smiled. “Though if Frank keeps going at the rate he’s going, he’ll probably call you himself.” Andy smiled. Mikey’s eyes widened.

 

“Seriously?” Mikey asked. Andy then laughed at the awe on Mikey’s face. He nodded and then Mikey smiled happily before turning and walking out of the bar. Andy followed not long after and was about to walk away when he heard a voice.

 

“Hey, leaving without me?” Andy turned to see Luke in a beanie and a black sweater, rather than just a Nirvana tee shirt and jeans. Andy smiled again.

 

“I didn’t think you were serious.” Andy replied. Luke shrugged.

 

“I was. I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” Luke said. They began walking and it was silent for a while before Luke spoke up. “So was that guy your boyfriend?” He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

 

“No. It’s a long story actually. Boring and intensely complicated. Like my life nowadays.” Andy said. Luke was silent for a moment and then Andy almost punched himself.

 

“Whose life isn’t though. As long as you aren’t dating someone else I don’t mind.” Luke said.

 

“Do you have a crush on me Luke?” Andy asked. Luke blushed a little but rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever. I see you around a lot. You never notice me. I just thought you were boring and needed a life. No big deal.” Luke said. Andy nudged Luke and he laughed.

 

“I did. It was boring. It’s not so much anymore. And now you’re around. Since I’ve now noticed you, I don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of you.” Andy said. It was Luke’s turn to push Andy. Andy found himself liking the simplicity of whatever the hell they were doing.

 

“Whatever. I could leave now. You won’t have to see me again.” Luke said, seemingly bothered by what Andy said. They then stopped walking. Already in front of Andy's apartment building.

 

“Why do I think you won’t?” Andy asked. Luke looked up into similar blue eyes and smirked.

 

“Probably ‘cause I’m not gonna.” Luke said. He smiled at Andy and then leaned forward. Andy felt himself holding his breath. He had conflicting thoughts in his head and now Luke was about to kiss him. What..? What was he supposed to do? "Andy, are you gonna kiss me or am I gonna have to do all the work..?" Luke asked. His warm breath fanning playfully over Andy's lips. Andy cursed himself and leaned the rest of the way in, capturing Luke's soft lips between his own. His hand lifted up and cupped Luke's cheek. Luke made a soft almost inaudible noise and gripped Andy's jacket in his fists. Luke's tongue swiped over Andy's lips and begged for entrance, which Andy granted him almost immediately. As heated as it seemed, what they were feeling wasn't even classified as a dull burn. It wasn't going fast or rushing. It was calm and cool. Andy felt comforted by it somehow. Luke broke away from Andy, his lips a bright red instead of pink from the kiss, Andy wanted to kiss him again. But instead he opted for running his thumb over Luke's bottom lip. They were both breathing heavily, and then Luke smirked. "You're a way better kisser than I thought you were going to be." Luke laughed. Andy laughed with him, moving his hand from Luke's face.

 

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to take that as a compliment, or an insult." Andy chuckled.

 

"Depends on if you invite me inside..." Luke said suggestively. Andy opened his mouth to say yes, but remembered Frank. So he closed his mouth and frowned slightly. In turn making Luke frown.

 

"I can't invite you in tonight..." Andy said solemnly. He liked Luke. He definitely wanted to invite him up. Almost so badly that it hurt. But he had Frank to think about. And at this point, Frank was more important than sex. "But I do want to see you again. When can I?" Andy asked. Luke sighed but looked into Andy's eyes.

 

"My day off is tomorrow. You could meet me at my place and we can figure something out then." Luke said, feigning aggravation. Deep down Luke was kind of excited at the prospect of someone actually wanting to take him on a date, and not just get in his pants. Luke took out a spare pen and wrote his number on Andy's arm. Andy smiled slightly. Luke was about to walk away, but Andy took his wrist for the second time that night, and kissed him. Slower this time. There was something about Luke that grew on him in however short a time span. That seemed to happen a lot to Andy. He wasn't really complaining anymore.

 

Luke walked away and Andy made his way up the stairs, and slipped the key into the lock. He turned the doorknob and walked inside. It was dark. The lights were off and so was the TV. Andy then got a sickening feeling in his stomach.

 

_Andy had just gotten home, and he was ready for bed. But he was undoubtedly going to go through his nightly routine. Check on Kat who was set up in his room, recovering from her injury. Take a shower, change up, and get comfortable on the couch. But tonight something was a little off. The apartment was dark. The TV wasn't on, the lights were all off and it was eerily quiet. Usually Kat would call out to him asking if it was him. Which it always was. But she was a generally nervous person. Especially after what Jack had been through. Now Andy was nervous. Why hadn't Kat called out to him already? So Andy called out to her._

 

_"Kat..? You awake babe?" He called. He slipped off his jacket and walked further into the apartment. He dropped his jacket on the floor and walked to the bedroom. When he got to the doorway he sighed in relief. He was about to walk away, thinking she was sleeping. But as soon as relief washed over him, dread replaced the safe feeling as he noticed the empty bottle of painkillers on the nightstand._

 

"FRANK!?" Andy yelled. He rushed through the house and tripped over something. He hissed as his face made contact with the ground. Despite the pain in his cheek and chest, he stood up and clumsily made his way over to the bedroom. Only to crash into Frank.

 

"Ouch fuck Andy. What the hell is wrong?" Frank asked.

 

_He was asleep..._

 

Andy wrapped his arms around Frank and held him tight. Frank was confused, and also half asleep. He had no clue what was going on or why Andy was holding him like it was the last time he'd see him. But then Frank sobered a little bit and realized he had already lost someone because of similar issues. Frank sighed and hugged Andy back. Andy sighed in relief and this time no dread sunk in second hand.

 

"I'm fine Andy. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon..."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. I know you guys are probably like 'what else is new?' But I had a few things going. Anyway. I'm gonna post chapter seven and eight today cause I don't know when chapter nine will be done. So I hope you guys like them.

It had been about two weeks. Two weeks since Mikey showed up. Two weeks since Andy met Luke. Two weeks since things had started to progress in the right direction. Also... Two weeks of Andy hiding the fact that he knew what had happened to Frank. He also knew the truth of what happened, and the fabricated story that Mikey wove to keep Frank in the dark. Andy had felt terrible for it. He still did, but there was no way he could tell Frank. No way. Not the way he was still so messed up after all that time.

 

Mikey had been around a lot more. Andy was happy about that. Even if Frank would never know what Mikey had done for him, at least they would be close again. Andy was happy for that. Frank needed someone, and not Andy. Andy was too stuck in his own past to be what Frank needed. Too stuck in redeeming himself for whatever lustful attraction they had to work. Andy was a little bothered by it, but with Luke coming around more often, the pressure eased up a bit.

 

"You two should go out." Andy suggested. Frank looked up from a magazine he was reading and glared over at Andy. Andy raised an eyebrow and looked over at the man who was reclined on the couch.

 

"I think that's a great idea." Mikey said. He was seated on a chair next to the couch. He looked over at Frank and gave a slight smile. Frank flushed the slightest hint of pink and sat up straight.

 

"I don’t know about this. I haven't been on a date in years. And why the hell are you playing matchmaker anyway?" Frank asked. He didn't like being in the spotlight. It wasn't his thing. It made him nervous.

 

"All the more reason to go on a date. I'm not playing matchmaker. You two are all over each other anyway." Andy mumbled as he sorted through papers that he had taken home from work.

 

"We are not." Frank hissed as he flipped Andy the bird. Andy chuckled. Mikey looked over at Frank and nudged him with his foot. “What?” Frank asked, his tone softening. That was another thing. Frank had become nicer to Mikey recently. It seemed to make Frank a little less on edge, and he hadn’t asked or hinted about his razor blade in a while. The closeness the two had made Mikey happy. It was written all over his face. And even though Frank wouldn’t admit it, it made him happier too.

 

“Let me take you on a date.” Mikey said. Frank rolled his eyes and huffed. “Don’t act like you don’t want to. Besides, I have to be a gentleman after what happened- ouch!” Mikey cried. Frank had flung the magazine he was reading at Mikey’s head.

 

“Shut up Mikey.” Frank hissed. Andy just laughed to himself in the background, until his phone rang. Andy answered it, walking away from the noise Frank and Mikey were creating.

 

“Hello?” Andy answered.

 

“Hey.” Luke replied. Andy smiled.

 

“I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days, what’s up?” Andy asked. Luke had been around a lot lately, and he’d met Frank and Mikey. But he seemed off after that. He hadn’t come around for a couple days. Andy wondered why.

 

“Do you love Frank?” Luke asked. The question was so sudden that Andy was shocked.

 

“No, why would you ask that?” Andy asked. Luke sighed on the other end.

 

“When I met him the other day, there was something between you two. I know you said that you were taking care of him and everything. But I can’t help but think there’s more to that than what you’re telling me.” Luke said. Andy frowned. He had said to Luke when they met that things in his life were complicated. Luke was determined to be with Andy despite that.

 

“Luke I told you my life was complicated.” Andy said carefully. On the other end of the line Luke frowned deeply and clenched his eyes shut. Luke felt things deeply. And even though it wasn’t love he felt for Andy yet, it did sting to see the one he had a crush on for a while, being sappy with someone else. Especially since they were together.

 

“Don’t tell me what I told you. I know what I said. But I never thought that it would mean you being in love with someone else.” Luke snapped. Andy sighed.

 

“I’m not in love with Frank.” Andy said. Luke scoffed.

 

“Sure Andy. Sure. If that was the case, you should have just told me you weren’t interested. I really like you and it feels like you’re leading me on. Half the time you cancel on me because of him. I feel like a fucking mistress!” Luke cursed. Andy ran a hand through his hair.

 

“That isn’t how this is Luke. You don’t understand.” Andy tried.

 

“Then make me understand! Think about me for once. Tell me something to help me understand what the fuck is going on!” Luke cried. Andy felt helpless. It wasn’t his place to tell anyone what was going on with Frank. He couldn’t just say what the problem was. It wasn’t his problem to tell.

 

“Luke I can’t tell you anything right now but I-.” Andy was cut off.

 

“My god. Whatever Andy. When you can tell me something, then call me. Until then, leave me alone.” Luke sighed. Andy felt like shit. Luke hung up on him and Andy just stood there silently for a moment.

 

“Hey Andy where’s the-… You look like shit. What happened to you?” Frank asked. Andy knew something like that would happen. He shouldn’t have even bothered getting involved in the first place. Now here he was, hurt because he hurt Luke. He really did like Luke.

 

"Luke kind of just broke up with me.” Andy sighed dejectedly. Frank furrowed his eyebrows. That was odd to him. The younger man seemed head over heels for Andy. And Andy seemed to be very fond of him too.

 

“Why? The kid was smitten with you.” Frank asked. Andy ran a hand up and down his face.

 

“He thinks I’m in love with you. And he’s upset because I won’t tell him anything about why I’m taking care of you.” Andy explained. Frank was silent for a moment. It was obvious that this situation was eating Andy alive. He could see it on the man’s face. Frank wasn’t a fan of everyone knowing his business, but Andy had been going to the trouble of keeping an eye on him and making sure he didn’t fuck himself up anymore. So Frank figured it was time he paid Andy back. Just a little.

 

“Well are you in love with me?” Frank asked. Andy looked up at him and gave him an incredulous look.

 

“Frank we kissed one time three weeks ago. And you can barely tolerate me. Isn’t that an answer in itself?” Andy said. Frank raised an eyebrow and then shook his head.

 

“You really like him don’t you?” Frank asked. Andy nodded and groaned.

 

“Why can’t anything be simple?” Andy asked.

 

“If it was easy then everyone would be doing it.” Mikey chimed in. Andy rolled his eyes.

 

“Okay what is this? Fucking Oprah..? Enough moping, and no more philosophical bullshit from you. Go and fix things with blondie.” Frank said. It was Mikey’s turn to roll his eyes now. Andy then nodded.

 

“But what do I tell him?” Andy asked. Frank sighed.

 

“The truth.” Frank said. Andy was quiet.

 

“Are you sure?” Andy asked hesitantly.

 

“Look, you went out of your way to torture the fuck outta me just so I wouldn’t hurt myself any further. You deserve a break from torturing yourself over me. So go and fix things with him.” Frank said.

 

“Dude that was so nice.” Mikey said quietly.

 

“Mikey. Shut the fuck up.” Frank chuckled. Andy smiled and hugged Frank. “Why do you always feel the need to hug me?” Frank asked. Andy pulled away and grabbed his jacket before he rushed out the door.

 

“So. About that date.” Mikey hinted. Frank was ready to punch Mikey in the face.

 

Their relationship was on civil terms. Well… It was more than civil going by what they did in Andy’s bed three nights prior. But despite all that Frank wasn’t so sure that he wanted to date Mikey. He didn’t want to admit that maybe there was more to the past than he noticed. And he didn’t want to know that Mikey had always loved him more. It sent memories through him that made him feel worse.

 

"I don't think so Mikey.” Frank answered. Mikey frowned deeply and watched as Frank made his way back to the living room.

 

“So I’m only okay when it comes to us fucking, but when I want to take you on a date that’s not okay?” Mikey asked. He was hurt by the way Frank was acting. In no way did Mikey feel that he was entitled to Frank’s affections. No that was not what it was at all. But after years of sitting silently and being unrequited in his feelings for the man, he finally got somewhere. How could Frank just pull all of that away from him now?

 

"That isn't it Mikey. Don't fucking pout.” Frank grumbled. How could Frank be so inconsiderate?

 

“Fuck off Frank. Don’t fucking manipulate me like you did to Andy. I won’t fucking put up with it.” Mikey snapped. Frank turned then. He looked at Mikey and saw the hurt in his eyes. Why was he so hurt? They weren’t even dating and they only fucked once!

 

“What are you talking about? I never did anything to Andy.” Frank protested. Frank didn’t have a clue as to what he was talking about. He never intentionally did anything to Andy.

 

“Yes you did. You knew he had a crush on you. You knew that you made him happy, but you kept pushing him away and tormenting him. You won’t do that to me Frank. I’ll walk out before I let you do that.” Mikey explained. Frank looked away. Did he really do that to Andy..? He would have to apologize for it… He may be stubborn and thick headed but he knew Andy was trying his best despite how inconvenient it was for Frank.

 

"You'd leave me?" Frank asked. Mikey then realized the weight his words carried. Mikey frowned and sighed. He sat on the couch and his head fell into his hands. Frank didn’t move from his spot.

 

“Sit down.” Mikey breathed quietly. He patted the spot next to him, and despite the hurt Frank felt toward Mikey, he sat down anyway. “I’ve never left you. Not once.” Mikey said.

 

"What about the year after Gerard left?” Frank asked.

 

“You kicked me out. But even then I never left. I was always around. I didn’t stalk you or anything. Just walked by the store every once in a while.” Mikey admitted.

 

"I know. I saw you.” Frank said. Mikey smirked.

 

“You did not.” Mikey replied.

 

“Yes I did. I just ignored you because I was mad.” Frank confessed.

 

“Jerk.” Mikey mumbled. Frank smiled slightly. He was stubborn, yeah. But Frank knew when to let his guard down. And when Mikey’s hand held out, Frank slipped his hand into it. He needed to speak up. And that was what he never learned to do. But if Mikey was making an effort he would at least try. He never wanted to hurt anybody. And knowing that his actions possibly hurt Andy, he needed to change.

 

"Mikey..." Frank said softly. Mikey looked at him and waited patiently for him to speak. Frank sighed. “It bothers me to know that you always loved me more than Gerard. It hurts to think about. So if I sometimes act like a dick, bare with me, okay?” Frank asked. He couldn’t meet Mikey’s eyes. Mikey then turned Frank’s face so he could look at him.

 

“Okay.” Mikey agreed. Frank took a deep breath and stood up.

 

"I say we go soil Andy’s sheets one more time and then decide what we’re gonna do for our date. Sound good?” Frank asked. He was walking his way toward Andy’s room already. Mikey smiled and chased after Frank.

 

~

 

Andy ran steadily to Luke’s apartment. He needed to get to Luke to explain himself. Because at the point they were now Luke would just dump him and move on. Andy didn’t want that. Luke made him happy and he hadn’t been happy in so long. Once Andy got to Luke’s apartment, he knocked on the door heavily. He waited for someone to answer the door. When the door swung open he was about to start speaking until he noticed that it wasn’t Luke but someone else. And they were only in their underwear. Andy was silent.

 

“Cal, who is it?” Luke asked from somewhere in the apartment.

 

“Who are you exactly..?” Cal asked. Andy was still silent. “I have no idea who this guy is.” Cal replied.

 

“Damnit Calum you can’t even find out who’s at the damn door while I get dressed.” Luke grumbled. Andy frowned. He backed away from the door and was about to walk away when Luke appeared in the doorway. “Andy.” Luke said.

 

“If you just didn’t want me anymore you should have said it.” Andy spoke, his voice devoid of emotion.

 

“You never wanted me to begin with.” Luke replied.

 

“Really? Because I ran all the way down here just to tell you what you wanted to know. Frank literally told me to come here and tell you what’s been going on.” Andy spoke, anger and hurt lining his tone at Luke’s words.

 

"Nice, you had to get permission from Frank to come here and talk to me?" Luke chuckled bitterly.

 

“Frank is depressed. He cuts himself on almost a daily basis. Three weeks ago I walked into his apartment to check on him and I found him covered in blood because of it. I insisted he move in with me. And I’ve been taking care of him since.” Andy explained. Luke was silent and he had gone pale. “So yeah. I kind of did have to get his permission to tell you that. But it looks like it doesn’t matter anymore. See you around.” Andy spat. He turned and walked away. Andy felt even worse than he had before he got to Luke’s place. He managed to get out of the building before he was stopped by Luke.

 

“Andy wait.” Luke said gently, hoping Andy wouldn’t refuse.

 

“Look. I told you things were complicated and you obviously couldn’t handle it. I won’t do this with you, Luke. I’m not that kind of person. I won’t stick around while you fuck someone behind my back. So just go, alright?” Andy said. His tone was harsh and Luke was frowning.

 

“I know it looked bad but nothing happened. I had gotten into bed after you called. Calum came over and tried to get into bed with me. But I kept kicking him out and you showed up before I had a chance to get dressed. It looked worse than what it actually was.” Luke elaborated. Andy’s frown wasn’t letting up, but he sighed. He believed Luke. Luke wasn’t the type of person to lie. Andy would know if something really happened.

 

“Fine.” Andy said. A breeze picked up and Luke shivered. Andy shrugged off his jacket and slipped it over Luke’s shoulders. Luke blushed and looked down.

 

“Thank you.” Luke said softly.

 

“It’s no big deal-.” Andy tried.

 

“I mean for explaining to me. I feel like such a fucking jerk. I was so bratty to you earlier. Frank must think I’m an asshole.” Luke said. Andy smiled.

 

“Frank thinks everyone’s an asshole. Don’t be too upset about it.” Andy said. The two laughed before it got quiet again.

 

“I’m sorry Andy.” Luke said. Andy nodded.

 

“It’s okay. I’m partially to blame, I should have explained something sooner.” Andy said. Luke shook his head before he wrapped his arms around Andy’s waist.

 

“It’s my fault. Don’t blame yourself.” Luke said. Andy held Luke close. He was glad things worked out.

 

“I really like you. You make me happy and I haven’t been happy in a long time. I wouldn’t do anything to risk losing you. I need you to know that.” Andy spoke calmly. Luke smiled into Andy’s neck. The two pulled away and Andy kissed Luke slowly.

 

“Let me go get a sweater and kick Calum out and we can go out and do something.” Luke said. Andy nodded and Luke slipped off Andy’s jacket. Andy watched Luke retreat and felt relieved. The thought of losing someone else ripped him to shreds. Luke meant a lot to him. It may not have been love yet but Andy could feel it slowly starting to progress. He was happy. He just hoped that Mikey would do the same for Frank.

 

~

 

“Where are you taking me?” Frank asked. All Mikey was doing was dragging Frank around. They were wandering aimlessly and Frank was getting annoyed.

 

“You’ll see. Now stop complaining.” Mikey said distractedly. He was searching for something and he cheered when he found it. “Aha. Here it is. I thought it was closed down. Seems like I can only find this place when you’re around Frankie.” Mikey hummed. He slid his hand into Frank’s and pulled him along. They walked inside the place and Frank shook his head. He remembered where they were now.

 

_Frank had been dragged out by Mikey to some dive. It was rickety and it didn’t look like it should have been standing up. Frank was afraid it would collapse in on them. But as they walked in, it was warm and cozy and it smelled like confectionery. Frank instantly felt like he was home._

_“What is this place Mikey?” Frank asked as he looked around. It looked so comfortable. There were soft chairs, and comfortable couches. People were talking quietly and everyone was minding their own business._

_“It’s a coffee house I found not too long ago. I figured you’d like how comfy it felt, so I wanted to bring you.” Mikey admitted. Frank nodded. Mikey smiled at him and took his hand, leading him to a couch in the corner. Even though no one would bother them, Mikey knew that Frank would like the privacy._

 

_"Isn't it a bit late for coffee?” Frank asked. Mikey smirked._

_“Nah. And even if it is, I’ll stay up with you all night until you fall asleep.” Mikey said softly. Frank blushed. But no one would be able to tell. It was dimly lit in the coffee house._

_"Thanks Mikey." Frank said. A small smile lit up his face and he looked up at Mikey. Their eyes held for a moment and Mikey was about to speak when a waiter came by._

_“Hello what would you like to order?” The small girl asked. Frank looked to Mikey and Mikey thought for a moment before speaking up and ordering for the both of them._

_“What am I, your girlfriend?” Frank asked._

_“Not yet.” Mikey chuckled. Frank rolled his eyes, but frowned and looked away for a moment. “Hey. Fuck him okay. Look at me.” Frank reluctantly looked up at him. Mikey took Frank’s hand and laced their fingers. “I will never leave you. Never in my life will I not be around to watch over you._

 

“Frankie...” Mikey called. Frank blinked and looked over into Mikey’s eyes.

 

“Yeah?” Frank replied. Mikey tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Are you okay?” Mikey asked softly. Frank squeezed Mikey’s hand and nodded.

 

“Yeah. I’m okay. Let’s find a seat.” Frank spoke calmly.

 

As they looked around Frank watched Mikey. He observed everything about him. And one question came to mind when he watched the man before him. Why was Mikey in love with him at all? Frank knew himself, knew how he acted and his attitude. It wasn’t nice. Frank just wasn’t a very nice person. He was civil but that was it. So why in the world would Mikey love him?

 

“Frank.” Mikey called sternly. Frank turned his attention to Mikey then.

 

“Yes?” Frank asked.

 

“Seriously what is going on with you?” Mikey asked. Concern was lacing his tone heavily and he was sure something was wrong. Almost entirely so.

 

“Nothing I’m sorry.” Frank said. He shook his head and his hand came up to cradle it. Frank was having sensory overload. The memories were overwhelming. The place was bringing up feelings. He couldn’t breathe.

 

“Frank.” Mikey called nervously. Frank’s eyes were watering and his breathing had increased in speed. Mikey was freaking out. “Talk to me Frankie. Tell me what’s going on.” Mikey begged.

 

“Panic attack.” Frank managed. Mikey stood still for a moment. He didn’t know what to do. So all he could do was take Frank’s hands in his own and try to calm him down.

 

“Frankie look at me. Look at me. You’re okay. Breathe. Just breathe okay. I’m right here. I’m with you. You’ll be okay. Take your time. Breathe.” Mikey spoke calmly in succession. Frank squeezed tightly on Mikey’s hands. Two single tears rolled down his cheeks as his breathing subsided and his world stopped closing in on him.

 

"Mikey." Frank huffed out of breath. In the middle of the coffee house he had a panic attack. People were watching silently and wondering what was going on. Frank paid them no mind. What they thought didn’t matter. What did matter was that as simply as a few sentences, he felt calm again and he noted how he felt Mikey’s thumbs caressing the backs of his hands. Mikey felt like his savior then. That if he let go of Mikey’s hands, he would fall apart. Mikey let go of one of his hands and he felt like he’d be sick. But it was only when Mikey wrapped an arm around his waist to coax him along to a seat that he realized Mikey wasn’t letting go. Frank wrapped his arms around Mikey and buried his face into Mikey’s neck.

 

Mikey stood stunned for a moment. He hadn’t seen this side of Frank since before they stopped talking. He was holding onto Mikey for dear life and on one hand Mikey loved it, but on the other he hated that Frank felt this way. It broke Mikey’s heart to see Frank so broken. Mikey slowly wrapped his other arm around Frank’s back and held him close. Mikey kissed the side of Frank’s head and stood quietly holding Frank.

 

“C’mon Frankie. I’m gonna take you home.” Mikey mumbled softly. Frank just held him tighter.

 

“Y-you never left.” Frank stuttered. Mikey was taken aback. “You… You were always around. I remember seeing you outside the music store. You’d walk by and I’d pretend to not notice. But I knew. You were there. You never left.” Frank said, he sounded tortured and Mikey held him tighter.

 

“I promised you. I told you I never would. And I didn’t.” Mikey said as his hand found its way into Frank’s hair.

 

“Why couldn’t it have been you?” Frank asked. Mikey furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t know what Frank was referring to.

 

"What do you mean Frankie?” Mikey asked softly as his fingers gently carded through Frank’s hair.

 

“Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with you? You keep your promises... He never did.” Frank whispered. Mikey wrapped his arm tighter around Frank.

 

“Fuck him. I’m here now. I love you. You’re okay. Let’s go home.” Mikey said. He pulled away from Frank gently and slipped his hand into Frank’s. Mikey lead the two back home silently. Every so often he would bring Frank’s hand up to his lips and kiss it softly. When they arrived back at Andy’s apartment, they walked in to see Andy and Luke laughing at something. Frank’s lips quirked a little to see Andy smiling. Frank was happy that Luke was around. He seemed to bring out the best in Andy.

 

“Hey guys. What’s up?” Luke asked.

 

“Nothing. Just tired.” Frank replied. Andy’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment.

 

“How bad was it?” Andy asked. Frank shrugged. He walked away into Andy’s bedroom and Andy followed. “What happened?” Andy asked.

 

“Nothing. Just… Memories. It wasn’t anything bad. I just think…” Frank couldn’t form a straight sentence.

 

"Holy shit." Andy said. Frank looked up at Andy and saw a smirk on his face.

 

“What?” Frank asked. Andy chuckled before he smiled gently.

 

“You’re in love with Mikey.” Andy spoke. Frank was stunned silent for a moment.

 

Frank then rolled his eyes and fell onto the bed. “Probably…” Frank sighed. Andy smiled and sat beside him.

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Andy asked. Frank shrugged.

 

“Not really. He did good when I had a panic attack. So that’s a good thing.” Frank said nonchalantly.

 

“He really loves you ya know.” Andy said gently. Andy looked over at Frank who had reclined on the bed.

 

“How would you know? Do the two of you have meetings about me?” Frank asked as he sat upright.

 

"Sometimes. I usually try to leave out that you’re a dick when you’re in pain. But I think he knows that already.” Andy said flippantly. Frank punched Andy’s arm. “Oh yeah and you’re really fucking violent.” Andy laughed as he rubbed lightly at the arm Frank had just punched.

 

In the living room Luke sat quietly and Mikey frowned lightly. The two were both worried about something. Frank. Although one was of genuine concern and one was of fear. Luke feared Frank would take his place. And Mikey feared Frank would never get better. Both were letting their worries bring them down.

 

“You worried too?” Luke asked.

 

“About what?” Mikey asked in turn.

 

“About Andy taking your place.” Luke said. Mikey laughed softly. Luke frowned deeply.

 

“You really have no need to be insecure. Andy is all for you. He was really upset earlier when you two had your argument.” Mikey said. He walked over and sat next to Luke.

 

"Do you guys always know when we don’t get along?” Luke asked with a huff.

 

“No. Just this time.” Mikey said.

 

“I just feel like they’re so close. And I come in second place.” Luke said solemnly. Mikey nodded.

 

“I feel that way too sometimes. But that’s just because they went through similar issues.” Mikey admitted. Luke’s eyes widened.

 

“B-but I never noticed! His skin isn’t flawed. And I’ve seen it a few times.” Luke said thoughtfully. Mikey laughed softly as not to seem like he was making fun.

 

“Look… Andy will want to explain himself at some point. But I will leave you with this.” Mikey started. Luke looked up at him and nodded. “Andy took care of someone before who was just like Frank. But they passed away. That’s why Andy feels so close to Frank. So please don’t worry about Andy not liking you. He likes you a whole lot I can promise you that.” Mikey said. Luke froze at Mikey’s admission. Luke then nodded and just as he looked up Andy and Frank were walking out of the room together.

 

“I think Mikey’s making you soft, Frankie.” Andy said. He wrapped an arm around Frank’s shoulders. Frank shrugged Andy’s arm off and rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever Andy. Honestly Luke I don’t even know why you like Andy at all.” Frank mumbled as he sat next to Mikey. Mikey immediately laced his hand with Frank’s. Luke smiled at the two and then looked up at Andy.

 

“He’s a good guy. He works hard. He cares about his friends. He’s a sweetheart. And also he is great in bed.” Luke said with a shrug. Mikey laughed and Andy smiled proudly.

 

“Really ‘cause I thought he was a shitty kisser.” Frank said nonchalantly. Luke raised an eyebrow at Andy.

 

“Really now. And how did you figure that out? He isn’t by the way. He’s actually really good at it.” Luke said. He was becoming a little angry. Andy told him there was nothing between them.

 

“Okay it was one time and it was because Frank wouldn’t get in my bed.” Andy said. Luke narrowed his eyes at Andy. Andy sighed.

 

“You’re just looking to have Luke dump you huh? What happened was he forcibly brought me to his apartment. He was trying to take care of me but I refused.” Frank started.

 

“So we got into a fight and were rolling around like idiots on the floor and I accidentally knocked his arm out and he fell on top of me and we kissed. It was a while ago and it never happened again after that.” Andy finished. Luke nodded.

 

“I still think you suck at kissing.” Frank shrugged, bored.

 

“Well not everyone can suck face like Mikey Way.” Andy laughed. Mikey chuckled and Frank’s cheeks flushed. Andy sat on the arm of the couch next to Luke. “So what are you guys gonna do?” Andy asked.

 

“I think we’re gonna crash at my place.” Frank said with a nod. Andy froze for a moment, making sure that Frank would meet his eyes.

 

“Are you sure?” Andy asked seriously. Frank smiled slightly. Even though Andy was overbearing and annoying as fuck, his heart was in the right place.

 

“I’m sure Andy. And I promise I will come to you if I have any problems.” Frank promised. Andy nodded hesitantly. Luke slipped his hand into Andy’s and smiled up at him. Andy smiled back and kissed Luke’s forehead.

 

“Okay.” Andy nodded even though he was still looking at Luke. Frank chuckled.

 

“Besides. You two probably want some time alone anyway. Soil your sheets some more.” Frank said. He stood up and Mikey followed suit.

 

“Weirdo. We didn’t soil the sheets here yet.” Andy laughed.

 

“That’s fine. I wasn’t referring to you anyway.” Frank said as he walked out of Andy’s apartment.

 

“What do you…?” Andy trailed off. By that time Frank was already out of the door closing it behind him. He smirked. That night would be the first time Frank would sleep out of Andy’s apartment for over three weeks. It was easy to say he was nervous and missed the comfort of having someone there. But Mikey would be with him. Frank suddenly didn’t feel so nervous anymore. “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING GROSS! IN MY BED?!” Andy boomed. Frank and Mikey laughed in unison as they closed Frank’s apartment door behind them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a fucking emotional rollercoaster ride. Dear god... You all hate me don't you? If I didn't laugh and and cry at least ten different times while writing this I didn't do either at all. My goodness... Anyway here you go. By the way, we meet an important character next chapter. Hint hint. Hope you guys like it.

It was the middle of the night. Frank was wide awake watching as Mikey slept. He felt uneasy. More so than he ever felt. He knew that he was missing something. He knew that Mikey was hiding something important from him. Frank knew that it had been years since Gerard had left. Knew that it was way past the time that he should have moved on. But it wasn’t as simple as it seemed. Things were left unsaid. Things were left split wide open like a blackened abyss. Frank needed to know what had happened. Needed to know what _really_ happened. Not just some half assed story that Mikey had been trying to feed him for years.

 

For a long time he didn’t mind it. He told himself it was easier that way. That things were better left unsaid. That it was simpler to just push forward and move on. But if that was the case and if that was really what was best, then Frank wouldn’t still be so fucked up. Wouldn’t still miss Gerard half the time. Wouldn’t still wish that things had gone differently. He would probably be happy. He would probably have been in love with Mikey a long time ago. And he and Andy would have been best friends. And things would be good. But now… This secret was causing problems. It was making Frank question himself and everything he ever knew about back then. It was making him anxious.

 

“Why are you awake?” Mikey grumbled from beside Frank. Frank blinked and looked over at Mikey. His eyesight had drifted up toward the ceiling making him unaware of Mikey waking up.

 

"Thinking." Frank mumbled quietly. Mikey snorted.

 

“You’re always thinking. Too much.” Mikey hummed. Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“You don’t think enough. Airhead.” Frank huffed. Mikey smiled and wrapped his arm around Frank’s bare torso.

 

“I think probably more than you do.” Mikey chuckled.

 

“Then why are you on my case about thinking?” Frank asked.

 

“Because you overwhelm yourself with your thoughts. I have to think because I’m always looking out for you. Making sure everything I say or do will be okay for you. There’s a difference, Frankie.” Mikey said calmly as he shifted closer to Frank.

 

“Mikey, when will you tell me the truth?” Frank asked suddenly. He didn’t like beating around the bush. He wouldn’t hold his tongue and wait for the right moment. Simply because he had a feeling that there would be no right moment to hear the truth.

 

Mikey took a deep breath before speaking. He knew his next words would anger Frank and he was upset because they were getting along so well too. “I’m not going to.” Mikey answered. Frank sat up then and pushed Mikey’s arm away. Mikey cursed himself, and Frank too for being stubborn.

 

“And why the fuck not?” Frank snapped. Mikey groaned and sat up. He looked over at Frank with tired eyes and sighed before flipping on the lamp beside the bed. Frank had a deep set frown on his face.

 

"Why do you need to know the truth?” Mikey countered. Frank went to speak, but his mouth opened and closed repeatedly before he sighed.

 

“Because… It’s been too long already. And if you ever want me to be able to love you openly like I know we both want-.” Frank started.

 

“We both?” Mikey questioned. Frank looked into Mikey’s eyes and waited for him to say something. Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes we both. I need to know the truth. Not knowing is making this harder for me Mikey. I’m anxious all the time. All I do is wonder about the truth.” Frank confessed. He felt himself become ashamed of speaking truthfully. He sounded so vulnerable. He hated it. Mikey slipped his hand into Frank’s and smiled softly.

 

"Is this what you really want?" Mikey asked. Frank nodded. Mikey nodded also and sighed. “Okay. But I can’t promise you that you’ll love me in the end.” Mikey said. Frank frowned slightly. He sighed to himself but didn’t let go of Mikey’s hand.

 

"Whatever happens Mikey, I’ll try my hardest to understand your side of it. I just need to know everything.” Frank said as he looked over at Mikey.

 

"Okay. I understand. Just… Let me figure a few things out and I’ll tell you everything in full in a few days.” Mikey said. Frank furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Why a few days?” Frank asked.

 

“Because I have something I need to do before I tell you anything. I always told myself that if I ever did tell you, I would need to fix things first. I made a big mess back then Frankie…” Mikey said solemnly. Frank was silent for a moment.

 

He didn’t move and he didn’t speak. He turned away from Mikey for a moment. Their hands were still laced together but Frank needed a minute. Mikey just said he made a mess… Frank was not only filled with anxiety, but dread seemed to somehow add itself to the mix, making Frank’s thoughts a fucked up cocktail of sorts. He was completely truthful when he said he would try his hardest to understand Mikey’s side of the story. But after hearing that Mikey made a mess, he wasn’t so sure he could keep that promise.

 

“Frank… If you hate me after I tell the truth, it’ll be okay. I won’t blame you or be upset. I’ll just be happy that I even had this time with you.” Mikey spoke softly. Frank looked at Mikey and smiled a small smile. He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Mikey’s lips. "Should we try and get some sleep now?” Mikey asked. Frank nodded and was about to lie down when Mikey squeezed his hand. Frank looked at him.

 

“I love you Frankie.” Mikey said quietly. Frank squeezed his hand back.

 

“I think I love you too.” Frank said just as quiet. It brought a smirk to Mikey’s face and so Mikey flicked off the light and they laid down again. Frank curled into Mikey’s back and held him close. Soon, Mikey was back to sleep. But Frank found himself unable to drift off into the same comfort. There was still so much on his mind. And he was entirely confused. His stomach was tied in knots and he didn’t know what to think anymore. He was afraid of what the truth would be. But if he was being truthful himself…

 

He was more afraid of not wanting Mikey when it was all over.

 

~

 

Across the hall in Andy's apartment things were better. Andy and Luke were messing around in bed, laughing. Andy couldn’t remember the last time he was that happy. It had been a long time since he felt that kind of happiness. Not even helping Frank made him that happy. Luke was good for him.

 

“You are a complete dork.” Andy laughed. Luke playfully punched Andy’s arm.

 

“Shut up. That’s why you like me.” Luke smiled. Andy smirked and wrapped himself around Luke. Luke kissed the top of Andy’s head as they relaxed in Andy’s bed. Luke was happy until his thoughts wandered to what Mikey had told him. He slowly carded his fingers through Andy’s hair as he laid there silently wondering what Mikey meant by what he said.

 

_‘Andy took care of someone before who was just like Frank. But they passed away. That’s why Andy feels so close to Frank.’_

 

What did that mean? It was so vague. So unbelievably open to interpretation. Luke felt so compelled to ask Andy what it was that happened. But he knew he shouldn’t. It wasn’t his place to say or ask anything about what was going on. He had learned that the hard way by being jealous and bratty. So he sighed and continued to run his fingers through Andy’s soft hair.

 

“What’s wrong?” Andy hummed softly against Luke’s chest. Luke looked down at Andy, whose eyes were open in slivers staring up at him tiredly. Luke realized just then that he loved how Andy’s warm breath felt against his skin. So he took a deep breath and shook his head.

 

“Nothing.” Luke replied quietly. He was still a little lost in his own thoughts. He didn’t want Andy to think he was still upset. He wasn’t. He was just curious and empathetic. He wanted to know what Andy went through. He wanted to let Andy know that no matter what he would always be there for him. So Luke blinked and looked down at Andy. “Andy…” Luke called softly. Andy’s eyes opened wider as they looked up into Luke’s similar blue eyes.

 

“Yeah.” Andy replied. Luke let his hand travel from Andy’s hair to his cheek. Luke then gave a soft smile. He would do right by Andy this time. He would show Andy that he wasn’t just some brat. That he was worth Andy’s time.

 

“No matter what happens I’ll always be here for you. I promise. Whatever it is. Be it what happened in your past, or what’s happening now. I’ll always be here when you need someone.” Luke said. Andy smiled gently and nodded. But then something that Luke said caught his attention. What happened in his past? How would Luke know that something happened in his past? Andy didn’t utter a word about anything that happened in his past. He didn’t even hint that He had a rough past.

 

“What do you mean ‘what happened in your past’?” Andy asked. He sat up and wrapped the sheet around his waist covering the naked lower half of his body. Luke sat up as well, and furrowed his eyebrows. He looked down and thought for a few seconds before he looked up and opened his mouth to speak.

 

“I… I just meant that whatever it is that you need, I could help you with.” Luke said cautiously. But Andy knew Luke well enough to know when he was lying. And he was lying. Andy smirked and shook his head. He slipped off the bed and pulled his jeans back on.

 

“So who was it? Which one told you what happened?” Andy asked as he fixed his belt on his jeans. Luke was becoming nervous. He didn’t need Andy mad at him again. They just got back on track after a rough night. He didn’t need for them to be on rocky terms again. Why couldn’t he just learn to keep his fucking mouth shut?

 

"No one told me anything! Not specifically.” Luke said in a rush. Andy glared at Luke as he slid his shirt over his head.

 

“Frank or Mikey. Tell me now.” Andy demanded. Luke sat on the bed feeling oddly exposed as he looked up at Andy. Luke frowned deeply before sighing.

 

“Mikey. He didn’t tell me anything. Just said that you took care of someone like Frank and they passed away. Andy I swear I wasn’t trying to pry I just-.” Luke tried to explain but Andy’s jaw set and he walked out of his bedroom. Luke wrapped the sheet around his waist and followed after him quickly. “Where are you going?” Luke asked. Andy was grabbing his jacket and ignoring Luke entirely. He needed space. Luke felt terrible, but despite what Andy thought it really wasn’t Luke’s fault. He was just nervous... “Why is it so bad that I know?! Why can everyone else know but me?!” Luke cried.

 

“BECAUSE NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW!” Andy boomed. Luke froze quietly. Andy was fuming. No one should have known. It was no one’s business. It was Andy’s mistakes. His past. And it was his own to keep secret. Frank guessed, and even then Andy was furious. It was nothing anyone else should have known.

 

“Andy I… I just want to help you. I’m sorry but I.. I really like you and I want to know..” Luke said waveringly. Andy chuckled bitterly then.

 

“You just don’t know when to stop, do you? You don’t know when to stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.” Andy said. He was eerily quiet. Luke didn’t like the tone.

 

“Just talk to me Andy. I want to help.” Luke pleaded desperately.

 

“I don’t need help! I’M FUCKING FINE!” Andy cried. He lashed out and knocked a lamp off of an end table, making it smash into pieces on the floor. Luke flinched. His frown still permanently in place.

 

“Andy… You do.” Luke said calmly.

 

“And what? You think you can help me? You think you can make me better? Yeah right. It’s been two years Luke. The rate I’m going I’ll be Frank in two more. You can’t help me.” Andy said calmly. It was worrisome how his mood kept changing.

 

“Andy, at least let me try. At least give me the chance to try and help you.” Luke asked. Andy was silent then.

 

“No.” Andy replied simply. Luke’s mouth opened and closed, until he just closed it and turned around walking back into Andy’s bedroom. Andy took that time to walk out the door. He didn’t know where he would go, but it needed to be somewhere nowhere near any of the people he was close to.  

 

...

 

Andy had been walking by himself for a while. So many thoughts were running through his head that he couldn’t even focus on where he was walking. His legs were taking him anywhere. He couldn’t even find the strength to care where they brought him. He was so wrapped up in his anger that he completely lost track of where he was going. Until he looked up at the sign.

 

Helena Memorial Cemetery

 

Andy frowned deeply and despite everything in him telling him that he should leave, he walked inside. His feet took him to the same place they always took him three times a year for the last two years. To their graves. He walked along the graves of the people he didn’t know, knowing exactly where they were buried, even in the dark of midnight. It was instinctual. He didn’t need to count the rows or look at the names. He just knew. So he stopped when he knew he was there. At their graves. He looked down at them, even though it was dark, he knew what their graves said. He smiled the best he could, but it fell short. For some reason it always made him smile that on her grave she took his last name.

 

His eyes wandered over the stones and the flowers that he brought not long ago. They were withering, but that was what they were supposed to do. At least someone hadn’t stolen them. Andy was thankful for that. He kneeled down slowly in front of their stones. He felt so lost. So alone all of a sudden. It was a depressing feeling but he couldn’t deny that he felt it. He took shaky breaths.

 

“I know I was just here not so long ago. And I know it’s late… But I had to come here you guys.” Andy said quietly. He was trying to keep his composure. But he found he really couldn’t. It was slipping from him. Andy gripped his head tightly. He was always the composed one. Always. But now he found it hard to keep that composure. Too hard. “Hehe who am I kidding you always loved company, Kat.” Andy chuckled dryly. He was no longer looking at their stones, but at the ground and the withering roses. His vision blurring quickly.

 

Andy's breath hitched and his shoulders began to shake. Tears dripped from his eyes as he knelt in front of her grave sobbing quietly to himself. He felt so confused and hurt and angry and sad. It was too much. And every time he felt too much… He ran to Kat. He still did. “I just… Kat I don’t… I don’t know when Frank and Luke and Mikey all became familiar and you,” Andy started as he hiccupped and sniffled terribly. He rubbed his palms over his eyes to clear the tears but they surfaced again instantly. “Andy you became a memory!” Andy cried out. His hand fell from his head and he sat back on his legs letting himself cry. He never did this. He figured he deserved it after two years.

 

Andy shook his head and wiped at his eyes, blinking and taking deep calming breaths. He needed to calm down. He needed to not flip out. He had learned to deal with her being gone. To not wake up in the middle of the night and freak out because she wasn’t there. To not have to run to the bathroom to throw up because he didn’t know what to do with himself now that she was gone. He had taught himself all of these things. He needed to remember them.

 

“I’m sorry… I’m just… I’m taking care of Frank now like I used to take care of you when Jack passed. And for some reason it’s harder and easier at the same time. And I’m not sure why. But Kat… Frank reminds me of you so much. And it’s so hard. He’s such a fucking dick but I can’t help but find all his shit worth it. For whatever reason I’m doing this… I can’t help but feel like if Frank is okay, then I’m okay. I don’t know what I would do if Frank died. If I lost him… I don’t think I could take it Kat.” Andy breathed out. He rubbed the back of his hand against his nose, clearing all the tears that had spilled there.

 

He was silent for a moment as he thought. The way he felt, he wasn’t sure if it was love for Frank, or if it was just lingering feelings for Kat. But either way it was painful and confusing. Especially since he was dating Luke. Fucking Luke… The kid caused him so much trouble. But he couldn’t deny that he felt a lot for Luke. And that the younger man made him happy. When he was with him, it was like his past didn’t exist and he was a completely new person. Andy liked that about himself. And for a second Andy stopped and realized that was probably the reason he flipped out. He didn’t want Luke knowing about his past. He didn’t want that to be a part of their relationship. Andy frowned and sighed.

 

“Kat… What should I do about Luke? I like him. A lot. I just don’t want

 him to pity me because of everything I’ve been through.” Andy spoke quietly. He sniffled and sat flat on the ground, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "I had hoped that with Luke I could keep it simple and that I wouldn't have to tell him about my past, but he... He's here to stay now Kat, and I'll have to tell him everything. I'll have to tell him about you and everything that happened. I haven't told anyone anything since you passed. How am I supposed to live through that again? How am I supposed to tell him that..? I really like him."

 

_Andy and Kat were walking back to his place when Andy was feeling down. You would too if the girl you loved was standing right beside you and you couldn't say a thing._

 

_"Hey Kat..." Andy called quietly. Kat looked up at him._

 

_"Yeah?" She replied. Andy was thoughtful for a moment before he spoke up. He wanted this question to come out right, and not sound so obvious._

 

_"How do you tell someone you love them?" Andy asked casually. He looked over at Kat and she was about to speak up when Jack slipped his arm around Kat and startled her. Andy frowned the slightest bit._

 

_"Like this. I love you Kat." Jack said with a big smile on his face. Kat smiled back and kissed his cheek._

 

_"Stop it. I think Andy meant something a little different. Tell me the whole scenario Andy." Kat requested. Andy blushed slightly and thought of something quick._

 

_"Well... Kellin came up to me the other day and asked me how to tell Vic that he loved him. But he said that Vic was in a relationship." Andy explained his lie eloquently and now Kat was intrigued, but not suspicious._

 

_"I say don't say anything." Jack said. Kat shushed him._

 

_"Hush. Andy how long has Kellin loved Vic?" Kat asked. Andy looked away for a moment, he couldn't look at her. He just couldn't. He was about to burst out and say that he loved her, even with Jack there. But he cleared his throat and shook his head._

 

_"Ever since they met." Andy said calmly as he looked back over at Kat._

 

_"Oh I see." Kat said softly. Andy was afraid he'd been found out until she spoke up again. "I think that he should say something. If he's loved him that long, then he should definitely speak up." Kat said, sure of her answer. Andy felt his heart beat faster at her words. That was all he needed to hear. He opened his mouth to speak when Jack interrupted him._

 

_"I don’t think he should say anything." Jack said._

 

_"Why not?" Kat asked. Jack then smiled down at her. Andy felt his heart break for the millionth time. Jack always managed to do that to him._

 

_"What if Vic is happy? What if he is so in love with this guy and Kellin comes along and ruins it for them? He should let them be happy. If Kellin loves Vic as much as he says he does, he'd know that he should let Vic be happy with whoever he's with." Jack explained. Andy could feel his throat beginning to ache and his hope diminishing by the second._

 

_"True... Well there you have it Andy. He shouldn't say anything." Kat said. She looked into Andy's eyes and then turned away to kiss Jack. Andy was sure he knew what hell was, right then and there._

 

Andy sighed to himself. He shook his head and stood back up. He had cried enough and no matter how much he wished, Kat wouldn’t answer him. He ran a hand through his hair and was about to turn away. But he stopped and looked at Jack’s stone. Andy closed his eyes and knew he had to get it off his chest. He had to tell Jack what he really felt. Even if Jack would never hear it.

 

“For the longest time, I couldn’t stand you, Jack… I always thought you had taken Kat away from me. I always thought you were a joke and that Kat would get over you sooner or later. But you were the real thing. You loved her as much as she loved you, and you made her happy. That was all I ever wanted for her. And then I realized that you didn’t take her away from me. I never had her in the first place… And as hard as that is to admit, I’m glad she could feel a love for you like I had for her.” Andy spoke near silently. He needed the weight of those words to be relieved. He needed them to be said. And they finally were. So he turned away and walked silently out of the cemetery. He turned around and headed straight back to his apartment. He needed to fix things once and for all with Luke. When he got back, Luke was sitting on the couch, his hands held together as his elbows rested against his legs. Andy shut the door quietly and walked over to sit next to Luke.

 

“Andy what exactly are we doing here?” Luke asked softly. Andy frowned.

 

“I don’t know Luke.” Andy replied. Luke then sighed.

 

“I’m sick of this Andy. I always feel like I’m wrong when I just want to get to know you. Do you not want to get to know me? Is this just because I said I liked you? Are you pitying me?” He asked. Andy sighed.

 

“No Luke I don’t pity you. At all. I just haven’t had a real relationship in a long time. I don’t know how to do this whole trusting you with what I’ve been through.” Andy admitted. He figured it’d be a lot easier to just bare all at this point. He didn’t want things to get so bad to the point where it built up like Frank. He’d seen it happen two times now. And he didn’t want to make it a third.

 

“Andy, I just need you to not be so mysterious. I need to know what’s going on with you. Just talk to me. I’m not the kind of person to run off because you told me about your past. I care about you. I get jealous and I want to be with you. And not just for a fling either.” Luke said calmly. He sighed and ran a hand over his face.

 

“I thought you loved how mysterious I was?” Andy asked. Luke rolled his eyes.

 

“Andy, you take mysterious to a different level. You give me a headache while trying to figure you out.” Luke grumbled. Andy smirked.

 

“Frank would be proud.” Andy smirked. Luke frowned.

 

“I’m so sick of hearing about Frank.” Luke huffed. Andy took his turn to roll his eyes.

 

“Do I have to tell you every single time I say his name? Oh Frank and I watched a movie the other night. But Lucas don’t you worry I love you not Frank.” Andy chuckled. He then realized what he said. He looked over at Luke carefully. Luke looked shocked and frozen in place.

 

“You love me?” Luke asked. Andy stood up then. He laughed nervously as he ran a hand through his hair. Luke sat there looking up at Andy expectantly.

 

“I uhm… It kind of just came out. But I mean… I don’t not love you.” Andy tried. Luke looked disappointed then. But how could he expect Andy to love him? It had only been about three weeks. How does someone fall in love in three weeks? “Luke, do you-?” Andy tried. Luke stood then and took a few steps away from Andy.

 

“Just forget it Andy. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll see you later.” Luke said as he frowned and made his way to the door.

 

“Luke wait. I don’t want you to leave.” Andy said. Somehow he kept managing to ruin what he had with Luke. It was like he didn’t want himself to be happy.

 

_Do I love Luke? I think I would have known…_

 

Andy looked over at the younger blonde man. His blue eyes were dark with disappointment and sadness. Andy hated that he kept putting Luke through his shitty emotions and rollercoaster rides of his life. Luke deserved so much more and he deserved someone who wasn’t as messed up as he was. But at the thought of Luke leaving and being with someone else Andy felt his stomach turn.

 

“I don’t want to stay. I’ve had enough drama for one night Andy I think I’ll just go home and-.” Luke was cut off.

 

“What if I meant it?” Andy asked. Luke was silent and opened his mouth to say something, when he found he was lost for words.

 

“But you can’t mean it.” Luke said, with the slightest shake of his head.

 

“But what if I do? What if I do mean it? What if I said to you right now, Luke I love you? What would you say?” Andy asked. His heart was racing, but what he was saying felt right. He felt it, even despite how soon it was. He loved Luke. Luke made him feel like he felt…

 

_I… I haven’t felt this happy since I first met Kat. I haven’t felt this sure about something since…_

 

“I love you too.” Luke said quickly. He then looked down and chuckled. He shook his head as red tinted his cheeks. “I remember the first time I saw you… You were walking with a girl and I thought my chances were slim. I remember you smiling so big when you were with her back then. But then you came into the bar and we met. Now… Now you smile at me the way you smiled at her. And I swear to god if your smile isn’t my favorite thing then I don’t know what is anymore.” Luke managed out around chuckles and nervous intakes of breath. Andy felt his cheeks taking flame. Luke was definitely something. He Made Andy smile and feel like the person he was before everything happened. Before Jack came around and made Kat fall in love. Before Jack died. Before Kat died. Luke made him happy.

 

“Luke. When you’re around… It’s like my past doesn’t exist. It’s like you make me the person I was before everything turned me into the person I am now. I love being with you because of that. I love seeing you because I know it’s a second chance to be happy. So don’t hate me for not telling you about my past. Don’t hate me for being mysterious. I just love the person I am when I’m with you. And I’d hate the person I’d become if you weren’t around.” Andy confessed. Luke was stunned silent. He then laughed as tears fell down his cheeks. He was just so fucking happy.

 

“It sound like you fucking practiced it.” Luke laughed as he wiped at his eyes. Andy smiled.

 

“I swear I didn’t practice this. This all just came out now.” Andy laughed. He then walked over to Luke and wrapped his arms around Luke. Luke slipped his arms around Andy’s waist and set his head in Andy’s neck.

 

“I really do love you. I know you probably think I’m clingy and annoying, but I’ve been waiting for you.” Luke whispered. Andy tightened his arms around Luke. He never did get his chance with Kat. But he got a second chance with Luke. That was all he could ask for.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT WAS THE FOURTH OF JULY! YOU AND I WERE YOU AND I WERE FIRE FIRE FIREWOOOORRRRRKKKKKKSSSSS!!!! Hello my loves, here is chapter nine on this glorious bald eagle infested free day. I'm feeling quite proud of myself and my accomplishments thus far with Redemption so you'll probably see chapter ten today too. ^_^ xxoo <3

Mikey frowned as he got out of his car. He felt like a traitor. This whole time he had been trying to protect Frank and now here he was, about to walk into his brother’s house and talk about what happened all those years ago. Mikey was at fault. It was his actions that caused Gerard to walk away. He was feeling a tidal wave of regret crashing over him. He always felt this way when he saw Gerard. He always wondered what would have happened if he had just stayed out of it. Maybe Gerard would have smartened up and he and Frankie would have been happy and still together. Mikey sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He hated to think like that, but he couldn’t help it. He had really fucked up. His plan was actually to get Gerard to see what was happening, and in the end it just made him leave Frank.

 

He walked up to the front door of Gerard’s house and held up his fist. He was hesitating. He was uncertain of how Gerard would react. If he would be angry. If he would hate him. It was terrible having Frank mad at him, but having both of them hate him, that was unthinkable. He would then have absolutely no one. Except for Andy. And that was questionable… He huffed to himself and knocked on the door. It was silent for a minute until he heard footsteps and the door being pulled open. Gerard had answered.

 

“Mikey? What are you doing here? I thought you were coming next week?” Gerard said as he moved aside to  let him in. Mikey nodded but kept silent and didn’t move to go inside. Gerard sighed then. “What do you have to say now? Besides the fact that you’re sleeping with my ex.” Gerard spoke. He was snarky and rude. Mikey rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever Gee. You never loved him as much as I do anyway.” Mikey drawled. “I have to talk to you. It’s kind of important.” Mikey said looking into his brother’s familiar eyes.

 

“What now?” Gerard asked. Something inside of him knew it was about Frank. He never did get over what happened back then. He just decided it was better to not dwell on things he couldn’t fix. And Frank happened to be one of them. Mikey glared at his brother.

 

“Do you not want me here?” Mikey asked. His tone was harsh.

 

“It’s not that Mikey. But every time you come here you have something to say about Frank. I’m fucking tired of it. I never asked for updates.” Gerard snapped. Mikey chuckled.

 

“Says the guy who sent me to tell Frank, who is still a fucking mess because of you by the way, that you’re having a baby with Lyndsey.” Mikey retorted. Gerard furrowed his eyebrows and glared at his younger brother.

 

“He had a right to know Mikey.” Gerard said quietly.

 

“Yeah right. You just wanted to test the waters to see if he still hated you, or if he missed you, or if he was still not over it. To be quite honest it’s all three.” Mikey ground out.

 

“You don’t know that.” Gerard said. Mikey rolled his eyes again.

 

“Be careful Gee your fondness is showing.” Mikey snapped. Gerard corrected himself carefully.

 

“What is it? What is so important?” Gerard asked, getting angry now. Frank always did that to him. Made him irrational and angry. The past was never in the past. It always caught up to him.

 

Mikey decided to just spill what he had been hiding and take it from there. There wouldn’t be anything that he could do if Gerard was mad. And there would never be anything he could do if Frank hated him again. It would ruin him this time. Mikey was sure of that. “I lied. Frank never cheated on you.” Mikey confessed. Gerard was silent.

 

“Are you fucking serious?” Gerard asked. Mikey nodded. Gerard shook his head as anger started to wrack through him. Mikey lied for four fucking years. Four years Gerard spent hating Frank.

 

“Yes I’m serious.” Mikey said quietly. Gerard laughed a humorless laugh.

 

“You fucking liar. For four fucking years you lied to me?” Gerard asked.

 

“Don’t try to give me morality lessons Gerard. You’re the one who screwed him over in the first place. If anyone should be pissed off, it should be Frank.” Mikey snapped. Gerard shook his head and smiled.

 

“So what Mikey? It was your job to speak for him, huh?” Gerard asked.

 

“Yeah unfortunately it was. Because you were a fucking coward and lied and slept around. How could he defend himself when he didn’t know what you were doing?” Mikey countered. Gerard was silent then.

 

“You were always jealous. You always wanted Frankie for yourself so you just had to sabotage what we had.” Gerard hissed.

 

“I sabotaged it? You did a pretty good fucking job of ruining things yourself. If you loved him as much as you portray. Then why the fuck were you sleeping around behind his back?” Mikey seethed. Gerard shook his head. He couldn’t believe what Mikey did. He and Frank could have worked things out and been happy together. But all of that was ruined because Mikey didn’t know how to mind his own business.

 

“Whatever Mikey, it doesn’t matter. It wasn’t your place to say anything. We could have worked things out and been happy together but you had to ruin that.” Gerard accused. Mikey shook his head and took a deep breath.

 

“You didn’t love him anymore. You said it to me multiple times. You didn’t want to be with him and you were messing around to distance yourself from him so it wouldn’t be that hard to leave. You were going to do it anyway. I just gave you the incentive to do so. So don’t sit here and put blame on me for something you were already going to do. I refuse to be the reason you left him.” Mikey spoke everything he needed to say. He told Gerard the truth. Now all he needed to do was make sure that Gerard didn’t go back to Frank and say anything. Gerard would do it. If he was angry enough he would turn malicious.

 

Gerard ran a hand over his face. He was acting like it all mattered. Like there was any way he could go back and change what happened. But he couldn’t. And he knew he wouldn’t if he had the chance also. He was happy with Lyndsey now. They were going to have a baby and be a family. He wouldn’t change that for the world. “That may be the truth Mikey. But it doesn’t mean that you were right meddling in my business. You’re my brother. You should have had my back.” Gerard frowned deeply and looked Mikey in the eyes.

 

“I did. I had your back for a year. One whole year that you fucked Frankie over. I couldn’t watch it anymore. He would come to me and ask me why you were so distant. He would be sad all the time wondering if you even loved him. Do you know how fucking hard that was? Do you know how hard it is to sit there and listen to the love of your life hurt because your brother was being a fucking asshole behind his back? I needed to protect him. I had to do something. Even if it meant never telling him the truth, and not taking your side anymore.” Mikey explained. Pain lining his voice. Gerard frowned again. He knew that Mikey always loved Frank. It was evident over the years. But Frank always loved Gerard. And in turn Gerard learned to love him too. Frank was a good man. One of the best. And looking back at it, Gerard just wished he would have treated Frank a little better. He wished he would have had the decency to tell him the truth and break up with him. Lying and leaving him without reason was a cowardly thing to do. It wasn’t fair. And Frank deserved better. Frank deserved Mikey. The actual person who loved him more than he loved to breathe. The one who would have always loved him like he deserved.

 

“Fine. I understand. Do you want to come in now? I’m sure we already made enough of a scene out here.” Gerard said calmly. Mikey shook his head.

 

“Nah. I’m gonna head back. Frank’s alone and I wanna get back before he makes his way to Andy’s house. The two of them can barely tolerate each other.” Mikey breathed out. He needed to be away from Gerard. For a while.

 

“Andy?” Gerard asked. Mikey smirked.

 

“Yeah. Andy. One of Frankie’s recent best friends. He took care of Frank for me. I really owe him a lot.” Mikey said with a kind smile.

 

“Took care?” Gerard asked. There was a lot he had missed. A lot he wanted to know. Yet a lot he thought he didn’t deserve to be told…

 

“Frank cuts himself. He cut too deep once and Andy was there to help him out. Confiscated his blade and everything. They barely knew each other.” Mikey said with a chuckle. Gerard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Frank still kept the blade he gave him? That was such a long time ago… They were kids when Gerard gave him that blade. It was a symbol of their strength. Whenever they used it, it added to how strong they would become. Gerard felt even worse hearing about it.

 

“Could I talk to him?” Gerard asked suddenly. Mikey froze for a moment. Why did Gerard need to speak to him?

 

“Why do you want to talk to Andy? I can’t guarantee that he won’t want to hit you.” Mikey spoke honestly. Gerard rolled his eyes but shook his head.

 

“I meant Frank.” Gerard said seriously. Mikey looked Gerard straight in the eyes.

 

“Did you not hear a fucking word I said to you? He’s still fucked up. I don’t want you anywhere near him.” Mikey said, losing all traces of any composure he had.

 

“You don’t own him Mikey. Just because you fuck him doesn’t mean-.” Gerard was cut off by Mikey speaking in a tone Gerard barely ever heard.

 

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are Gee. But I do more than just ‘fuck’ him. I make sure he’s okay. I always have. He has people who give a fuck about him. Unlike you. So don’t stand there and try to undermine me. I give a fuck. You don’t. Stay the fuck away.” Mikey’s tone was cold and hard and one Gerard hated hearing.

 

“I’ll see him if I want to Mikey. It isn’t your fucking choice.” Gerard snapped back.

 

“Have it your way Gerard I can’t guarantee you’ll be welcome.” Mikey said. He back away from his brother and walked away to his car. Mikey was afraid. Terrified. How would Frank be if Gerard went to see him?

 

~

 

“Well well well. If it isn’t Frankie. I haven’t talked to you in days it feels like.” Luke said as he leaned against the counter next to Frank.

 

“I know. I’ve been avoiding you.” Frank replied as he flipped through a music magazine. Luke rolled his eyes.

 

“And why is that?” Luke asked.

 

“Because I kind of have a boyfriend that is not Andy, and I didn’t want to hear your fucking mouth about how we would make ‘the most amazing babies you have ever seen’, despite how physically and anatomically impossible that is.” Frank mumbled nonchalantly. Luke’s mouth dropped open.

 

“No fucking way, you finally started to date Mikey?!” Luke cried. Frank looked up at Luke with an expression of pure confusion on his face.

 

“Do you fucking stalk me? How do you know these things?” Frank asked.

 

“The fucking guy walks around here at least twice a week and you wonder how I know about him. He literally walks by and looks at you with this sad little smile on his face. It’s so fucking obvious he loves you.” Luke explained. Frank smirked.

 

“Fucking weirdo.” Frank chuckled. Luke smiled brightly. He had known Frank for a while. And they had been best friends for just as long, but Luke had never seen Frank smile the way he was now. Mikey must have been someone really special.

 

“Holy shit. You’re in love with him.” Luke said. Frank was really surprising him. Frank smiled full out.

 

“It’s fucking annoying.” Frank said. Although his smile didn’t waver once. Luke laughed and so didn’t Frank.

 

“My god Frankie… It’s about damned time.” Luke said. Frank looked up at Luke.

 

“I know.” Frank said quietly. Luke could still see the past and all its memories lining Frank’s green eyes. But he also saw the lightness in them, the undeniable happiness. And for once, Luke just admired Frank’s utter happiness, instead of making a perverted joke. It had been a long time coming. Luke was awestruck by how happy they looked, until they turned dark and hollow. They lost their light as quickly as they had found it. Luke was startled by it.

 

“Frankie..?” Luke called. He turned around then and froze in his spot. “Holy fucking shit…

 

“Hey Frankie.” Came Gerard gentle greeting. Frank’s heart was pounding out of his fucking chest. What the fuck was going on? Was this real?

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Frank managed out. He didn’t think he could speak. He didn’t think he had words. He never really gave much thought as to what he would say to the man if he came back. All Frank remembered thinking was… Please just come back to me.

 

“I… I wanted to stop by. I just felt like seeing you. Haha…” Came Gerard’s reply.

 

“Did that really just come out of his mouth…? What the actual fuck was that?” Luke asked blatantly. Gerard furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the younger man standing before Frank. He felt judged.

 

“Shut up Luke.” Frank said. “Is that really what you have to say after four years? Four years to the day and you actually show up here to say that?” Frank asked. Gerard looked down at his feet for a second.

 

“No. I actually wanted to talk to you.” Gerard said seriously. He had a deep set frown on his face and a look that told Frank he had some things on his mind. Frank hated that he could still read Gerard like a book.

 

“And he waited four years to tell you that?” Luke asked.

 

“ _Luke_.” Frank hissed. Luke nodded, and walked behind the counter and towards the rooms in the back.

 

“HEY JAIME LET’S FOOL AROUND IN THE BATHROOM!” Luke called out. Frank rolled his eyes. Gerard fidgeted, seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin.

 

“I have a shit ton to do so let’s get this over with.” Frank said. He was in no mood for this. And it shocked him. He had always told himself if Gerard ever came back he would welcome him back with open arms, but this felt different. Meeting Andy made it different. Loving Mikey made it different. Luke the little fuckface, he made it different. Four years later. Everything was so fucking _different_.

 

“I cheated on you.” Gerard said abruptly. Frank was silent. He flinched. After four years. Four years of no contact. Four years of missing him and being lonely, and hating himself. Hating Gerard. That was what he had to say? Frank thought he could keep himself together. But Gerard always got a reaction. And this reaction came with tears and hyperventilation. “Frank..? Frank are you alright?” Gerard asked frantically. Frank shook his head. He needed silence.

 

“Shut up. Stop talking.” Frank managed out through tears and shaky breaths. He needed Mikey. But he couldn’t call him. He couldn’t even stop hyperventilating. So he thought. Thought of everything Mikey had said that made Frank know he loved him.

 

_“I have loved you since I met you.”_

_“I will never leave you. Never in my life will I not be around to watch over you.”_

“Should I call Mikey?” Gerard asked. Frank looked up at him and glared. He had managed to calm himself down with thoughts of Mikey. Now… Now he needed to confront Gerard.

 

“No. Because you and I both know he’ll just want to separate us. And I have a few things to say to you.” Frank huffed. Gerard nodded. Frank palmed his eyes and got rid of the tears that had spilled there.

 

“Okay…” Gerard said as he waited quietly.

 

“So that’s why you left huh? You couldn’t stand me anymore, so you just left me without a word? You’re a fucking coward.” Frank hissed.

 

“I am a coward, but no that isn’t why I left.” Gerard shook his head.

 

“Then what’s your excuse? Find someone better?” Frank snapped. Frank could tell he was striking a chord in Gerard. Gerard would lash out soon. He’d find something to hurt Frank with. Frank just wasn’t sure he’d be prepared for it.

 

“Mikey told me you were sleeping with someone else. So I packed my shit and I left.” Gerard said calmly. No… Frank wasn’t prepared.

 

“He told you what?” Frank asked. All fire he had inside him burned out. He wasn’t mad anymore. He didn’t know what he was. Too much was going on.

 

“He came to me one day, really pissed. I can’t blame him really. He’s been in love with you since he laid eyes on you. It had been a year that I’d been sleeping around behind your back. He came to me and told me he saw you with someone when I was gone. I was pissed, so I packed my things before you got back from work and I left. I was so pissed at you. And to be honest I probably still would be if Mikey hadn’t come and confessed to me yesterday.” Frank was sure he could have went the rest of his life without knowing what had happened. Mikey was right. Mikey was also a fucking liar.

 

  
“Was there ever a time when you did love me?” Frank asked. Gerard was silent.

 

“Being in love with you has always been Mikey’s thing. I did love you for a while. But being in love with you was something I don’t think I ever really was. I think I just liked the fact that you loved me so much. And in turn I… I really hurt you.” Gerard admitted. Frank found himself with tears in his eyes again. Frank was now certain the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ was made for him. He wished he had never asked. Because at the moment he felt so fucking betrayed. And his heart was broken again. But this time Mikey was behind it. Mikey lied to him, told Gerard a lie and made him leave. And Gerard was just a fucking asshole to begin with.

 

“Why did you waste my time? Why did you spend four years fucking around with my head just to cheat on me and leave? Why did I ever meet you? Why did I ever meet your brother? Why did I ever fall in love with the two of you? You’re both fucking liars. You both don’t think about what could hurt someone. You’re both fucking assholes.” Frank seethed. Gerard frowned and opened his mouth to apologize but Frank stopped him. “Not a word. Not another fucking word from you. I never want to see you again. Not in my life. Have a good life with your family. And you know what? If Lindsey was smart, she’d leave before you do the same thing to her.”

 

With his final words being said, Frank left the store. Job be damned. He didn’t care if Jaime fired him. He didn’t care what happened. He just needed to get back to Andy’s apartment. He needed to find his blade, or anything sharp. He needed to be alone with a blade. The only two people he ever loved in his life were both liars. They both sabotaged his relationship. They both lied for four years. Mikey knew that Gerard was cheating and he never even said a word. He felt so betrayed. Mikey’s words replayed in his ears but they seemed mocking now. Mikey lied to him. Never told him the truth. Even when he had so many chances to.

 

Frank ran to Andy’s apartment. He unlocked the door and barged inside. He didn’t even close the door behind him. He was too focused on finding his blade. He needed it. He ran through each room, knocking things over in his hurry to find what he needed. By the time he made it to Andy’s room the house was trashed. Everything was knocked over. All of Andy’s stuff was either broken or pretty damn close to being that way. He flung open Andy’s closet door and started to pull things out. Flinging Andy’s clothes everywhere, his shoes, things that were stored there neatly. Until he threw out a yellow envelope. It was heavy and stuffed with papers and things Frank didn’t care for until he heard it rip open. Only in that moment did he realize what he was doing. When he looked back he saw pictures of Andy and someone else. It was a girl. And Andy looked so damned happy in those pictures. Frank walked over to the ripped envelope and picked up the things that had spilled out.

 

Frank took it and sat down on Andy’s bed. There was a mess of things everywhere and Frank basically fucked up Andy’s apartment, but this… This seemed more important. And screw Andy’s want for privacy they both crossed that line a long time ago. Frank picked up a picture and looked at it carefully. He could easily deduce who the girl was. And his stomach dropped at the thought. She was a beautiful girl, long caramel colored wavy hair. Bright green eyes that could put Frank’s to shame. Smooth pale skin, and a smile that could make you fall in love. Frank was sure that Andy fell in love with her because of it. He also felt his stomach drop when he saw the way Andy was looking at her in the photo. Pure affection was on his face, and it was like the camera didn’t matter to Andy at the moment. All that mattered was her.

 

Frank set the photo down and looked through the envelope. There were CD’s made with pieces of paper on the cases listing the songs that were on it. Letters were inside. Notes that they wrote to each other. Drawings they both made. And finally a booklet that held personal entries from her. Frank flipped through them and realized that the entries were made after her boyfriend died. Frank felt his throat tightening up. They each got increasingly worse as he read on. And he felt his stomach tie in a knot when he got to the last page.

 

_Dear Andy,_

_I know you’re mad… Or rather crying and sad. I’m sorry… I wish I wasn’t going to do this but I am. I feel like I have to. I miss him. I miss him so much. And it hurts to wake up every day knowing that he isn’t here. That someone killed him. That I won’t see his smile again. Or hear his laugh. Or that I won’t be able to feel him again. To wake up and hear him singing terribly in the shower. Or listen to his terrible jokes. It hurts so damn bad Andy and I don’t think you understand, you try to talk me out of it. To tell me this isn’t what he’d want. But it’s what I need. I can’t live in this world if he’s not here. If I can’t be married to him and I can’t physically touch him… This world isn’t worth living in. I’m gonna miss you. So much. And I’m sorry you have to deal with this and I’m sorry you’ll have to be the one to find me. But I need it to be you. I need you to be strong for me. Stay strong for just a little while longer Andy. For me. I need you to. I love you._

_Goodbye Andy._

_Love,_

_Kat XO_

The page was wilted. As if she’d been crying over it. She probably was. Frank had tears streaming down his face but there was a note on the inside of the back of the booklet. Frank held himself together long enough to read it.

 

_Dear Frank,_

_I’ll never let you get this far. I promise._

_Love,_

_Andy._

 

Frank dropped the booklet and sobbed. In doing so the envelope fell from his lap, and with it, its contents. Including Frank’s blade. He picked it up and held it in his hand. He was so temped. He was looking at it through tears and begging himself to just use it. But he just flung it against the wall. What was going on? One second he was happy and the next everything was just so wrong. So fucking wrong.

 

“FRANK!?” He heard Andy’s voice cry out.

 

“I-I’m in here Andy…” Frank breathed out slowly. He heard Andy’s hurried footsteps and Andy rushed into the room disregarding everything. He even pushed aside his envelope of memories to get to Frank.

 

“Are you okay?” Andy asked sternly. Frank nodded.

 

“I’m sorry about your envelope.” Frank said quietly. He really wasn’t.

 

“I don’t care. As long as you’re okay, I don’t care. What happened?” Andy asked.

 

“Gerard was a cheating fuckface who never loved me and Mikey is a fucking liar. He knew about it but never told me. He lied to Gerard about me and that’s why Gerard left.” Frank spoke calmly. His heart hurt far more than he had ever expected it to. More than it hurt when Gerard left. More than anything he ever felt.

 

“I know. Mikey told me…” Andy admitted. Frank glared at Andy, but even though he tried, he couldn’t be mad at Andy. Not after reading what was in the booklet.

 

“Did everyone know but me?” Frank asked, highly irritated.

 

“Luke doesn’t know.” Andy said gently.

 

“You’re a dick.” Frank said. Andy smirked. Frank looked down at his shoes and felt himself become numb. What the worst thing about being numb was, you could still feel the pain on the outside. It was just a dull sensation that you could feel every now and then.

 

“I’m sorry Frank.” Andy said softly. Frank nodded.

 

“Do me a favor Andy…” Frank trailed off.

 

“Of course. Anything.” Andy said as he waited for Frank to continue.

 

“I don’t want to see Mikey for a while.” Frank said.

 

“Frank are you su-?” Andy tried. Frank nodded again.

 

“I am. I don’t want to see him. Not yet. Not until I can actually face him without feeling like I want to throw up and murder him at the same time. I’m not ready to see him.” Frank said almost silently. He messed with his hand until Andy slipped one of his between them.

 

“He did it to protect you. You know that right?” Andy asked as he laced their fingers together.

 

“I know. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t have millions of chances to tell me. Even if I would have been mad.” Frank said, looking up into Andy’s eyes. Andy had this sad and sympathetic look on his face. Frank wasn’t sure if it was sympathy for Mikey, or for the fact that he knew Frank was still in love with Mikey.

 

“Okay. Whatever you want. I’ll do it. I’ll make sure Mikey keeps his distance.” Andy agreed. Frank squeezed his hand and nodded.

 

“Thank you.” Frank whispered. Andy knew then that what Frank was feeling was betrayal, and another heartbreak. He wanted to take away all his pain. Frank didn’t deserve it.

 

“What’s worse?” Andy asked. Frank smiled.

 

“I miss him. But I can’t be near him. I can’t see him right now.” Frank admitted. Andy groaned internally. He knew the feeling all too well. Betrayal was a fucking bitch.

 

“I’m sorry.” Andy said again. Frank shook his head.

 

“You’re not an asshole liar who hides the truth from me for four years. So don’t be sorry.” Frank said. Andy nodded.

 

“You know that you’re gonna be staying here with me right?” Andy asked. Frank nodded. “And you know you have to get along with Luke right?” Frank sighed. But he nodded. Andy smiled and wrapped his arms around Frank. Frank buried his face in Andy’s shoulder. Frank was sure that Andy was the only person who really gave a shit about him and didn’t sugarcoat anything. Frank loved that about Andy.

 

“FRANK WHERE ARE YOU!?” Luke called out.

 

“Oh god. My Luke found us…” Frank mumbled into Andy’s shoulder. “If I have to be nice to yours, you have to be nice to mine.” Frank said. Andy groaned but nodded.

 

“Shut up Luke… What if Frank got abducted..?” Luke wondered. Andy chuckled.

 

“HEY YOU DON’T SAY THAT! WHAT IF ANDY GOT ABDUCTED!?” The other Luke cried.

 

“HEY SHUT UP THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND YOU PRICK.” Luke yelled. Andy was laughing and Frank was just wondering when they’d shut the fuck up.

 

“Both of you shut the fuck up. You’re giving me a headache.” Frank growled. Andy pulled back and smiled at Frank. Frank smiled halfheartedly back.

 

“Andy, holy shit are you okay?” His Luke asked. Andy stood and kissed him.

 

“I’m fine babe.” Andy answered and planted a kiss on his forehead.

 

“Damnit Frank you’re just surrounded by shit tons of hot people. How do you do it? All I get is Jaime.” Luke said, eyeing Andy and his boyfriend.

 

“I will kick you the fuck out in a heartbeat.” Frank mumbled. Luke just rolled his eyes and fell down next to Frank. He then laced his fingers with Frank’s. Frank felt comforted then.

 

“Not gonna happen. I’m here for ya babe. Just like these two. And by the way, try not to be too lovey dovey or I’ll be forced to punch you each in the mouth.” Luke said. Frank smirked. Andy glared at him and Luke rolled his eyes.

 

Scratch that. There were a few people who gave a shit about Frank and wouldn’t sugarcoat anything. Frank was grateful for them then.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap a wild Jadiepoo appears with a chapter ten! Yeah there really is no excuse for why this is like two months late. Except that I have a job now. Sorry. Xxoo

Immediately Mikey knew something was wrong. He could just feel it in his bones. Everything felt different. It felt colder somehow. Like he’d been stripped of his clothes and shoved out into the snow on a freezing winter night. When he saw the confusion clear on Andy’s face, he knew the man was debating something. He knew Andy was contemplating an idea. And in the end he sighed. A frown settled on his lips and he looked at Mikey with pure pity in his eyes. More than pity, understanding. Mikey wasn’t sure which was worse.

 

“He doesn’t want to see you.” Andy said coolly. Mikey stood there for a second taking in the words that Andy had just spoken to him. Frank didn’t want to see him.

 

On some level Mikey knew it was a possibility. He knew actually that it was more likely than not going to be the outcome he had to face. Yet knowing and being prepared for it were two different things. Either way they both stung like hell. And no matter how hard Mikey tried to fight his emotions, telling himself that he at least had Andy. And that it was all his own fault and now that Frank knew he had to deal with the consequences. But nothing he was thinking or telling himself was making it easier; was taking the pain away.

 

“Did he say for how long?” Mikey rasped out. He cleared his throat and tried to keep calm, but how could he when Frank refused to see him. That he was so hurt and angry that he refused his presence.

 

“No, he only said that he didn’t want to see you for a while. Those are my instructions and despite how much I detest them, I have to keep my promise.” Andy said sadly. Mikey nodded. He found that he couldn’t cry about this. He couldn’t break down into tears and beg for Frank’s forgiveness. Not that it would do anything really. He just felt numb. Dull throbs from his chest that made him nauseous. But nothing else. No pain. No sorrow. And no self-loathing. Mikey wasn’t sure how long it would last. He just hoped it was for long enough.

 

“Okay. Will you still talk to me at least? I’ll need someone after my brother is murdered.” Mikey said solemnly. His tone oddly calm for someone who had just had their heart ripped into pieces.

 

Andy sighed. He felt like a mess over the whole thing. It wasn't his relationship, yet here he was feeling sympathy pains for Mikey. He guessed that after seeing Frank so calm and at peace with Mikey, he would miss the happiness around his apartment. The smiles they would share when they thought Andy wasn’t looking. The laughs Frank let spill when Mikey said or did something funny. The times where he found them tangled together on the couch after work. Andy would miss it. And he was hurting for them both. But it wasn't his place, and Frank needed time which was what he would get. Andy just hoped it wasn’t too much time. But knowing Frank… It would undoubtedly be a while.

 

“Of course Mikey. He’ll come around sometime. I know that for sure.” Andy said with a nod, certain of his word. But Mikey just swallowed, and shook his head as he looked down. Oddly fascinated with his shoes at that moment.

 

“You don’t know that Andy. I mean… Why would he trust me again? Why would he even want me after knowing what I did?” Mikey asked rhetorically.

 

“Mikey you did what you did to protect him. You know that. And he knows that. He just needs time to process it.” Andy said trying to convince Mikey that Frank would want him back. Andy wasn’t sure what Frank wanted, but he needed to instill some hope in the man. He needed it. And he deserved it. Despite everything, Andy knew what Mikey did was for Frank’s own good. To keep him from knowing the truth and hating himself for it. Like he did now… If it were up to Mikey, he would have never went to Gerard. He would have left well enough alone and let them be happy together. That was all Mikey ever wanted for Frank. Happiness. But it seemed all Frank got was sadness.

 

“Protection or not, I lied. I could have told him what happened. I just didn’t.” Mikey said, beating himself up for not telling the truth to begin with. “I was just scared I guess. Scared that Frank would follow after Gerard and try to make things work. Scared that Frank would hate me. Scared that Frank would have cursed me out and told me never to come around again. I couldn’t bear that. It would kill me. But in the end, I got exactly what I had coming to me. I should have told the truth. Maybe then we would be happy. Maybe Frank would be happy now if I hadn’t kept things a secret.” Mikey spoke calmly. He wanted Frank to hear what he was saying, but odds were that Frank refused. Mikey didn’t blame him.

 

“Mikey… Give it some time. I’ll work on it for you okay?” Andy offered, wishing he could do more for the heartbroken man. But Mikey shook his head.

 

“Don’t. If he loves me at all and wants me around, he’ll call. Don’t try to sway him. It wouldn’t be real.” Mikey said near silently. He was losing his hope. And any trace of happiness that had once been there before. Andy felt himself reminded of the feeling. He nodded and placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder.

 

“He does. Just wait it out Mikey. Frank is stubborn. But give him time to think things through and he’ll be calling you or running after you before you know it.” Andy said. Mikey nodded, not wanting to keep this discussion going any longer. He just wanted to go home and forget everything for a while. That was, until Gerard showed up.

 

“Mikey. I’ve been looking for you. Is Frank okay?” Gerard asked. Andy furrowed his eyebrows and looked the man over. He couldn’t remember exactly where he’d seen the man before, but he looked familiar. But in a bad way. And then it hit him like a ton of bricks. That was the man who fucked Frank up in the first place. The one who incessantly tortured him for years.

 

It was like Andy couldn’t control himself. Like he blacked out. Because in one second he was standing and talking to Mikey to make him keep some shred of hope and now he was pinning someone on the ground punching at him. The only time Andy noticed what he was doing was when Luke called out to him. And suddenly in a rush of heat all his anger pooled deep in his stomach. Bouts of hate taking over him. All his pain and anger and frustration lashing out into the man on the floor that he _didn’t even know_.

 

“ANDY!” Luke yelled as he pulled at his arms to get him off. “Andy stop! What the fuck are you doing!?” Luke snapped as he pushed Andy away. Andy took a deep breath. He looked around and noticed Gerard on the floor clutching at his nose, and huffing rather loudly. He looked around again and saw Mikey telling the other Luke to keep Frank inside and occupied. Frank had no reason to see this.

 

“That’s Gerard.” Andy said calmly. Luke looked over and took in the man on the ground. Then made and ‘o’ with his mouth before he stepped back a little.

 

“I’ll leave the three of you alone then. Just please, don’t fuck him up anymore. He looks like a mess as it is.” Luke whispered. He pressed a kiss to Andy’s cheek and then pulled away. Once Luke was inside the house Gerard spoke up from the ground.

 

“So I guess you’re Andy.” He chuckled. Andy glowered at the man as he sat up and pulled himself together before standing up.

 

“Gerard let’s go. I don’t need Andy going to jail for your murder. I’d like to save that for myself.” Mikey barked. Gerard rolled his eyes.

 

“Fuck off Mikey. I have a few things to say before we leave.” Gerard snapped.

 

“Like what? What do you possibly have to say? Do you think I’m really going to listen to your shit?” Andy spat.

 

“No. I don’t want you to listen to a fucking thing. Because who do you think you are? This isn’t your fucking business. This has nothing to do with you, but here you are beating me up and fighting Frank’s battles. This isn’t your place.” Gerard spoke as he wiped at his nose. Blood covered the back of his hand and his lip. Andy really messed him up. And to be honest he never really had any intention to. It wasn’t his place to fight Frank’s battles. He was more than able to do so. Andy would know. He felt Frank’s punch. But more than that, Andy didn’t think it was because of Gerard himself. He had another idea entirely as to why he lashed out.

 

“No? This isn’t my place?” Andy asked incredulously. He was starting to hate Gerard even more than he originally did.

 

“No it really isn’t. How long have you been here? A month? I was there for four years. Longer than you. So who has more right to be here?” Gerard yelled. Andy wasn’t phased in the least.

 

“Me. And your brother. You have no fucking right and would you like for me to explain that to you you fucking idiot?” Andy asked. His voice was nothing higher than loudly speaking. It didn’t need to be. Because the only thing that mattered was Frank, and how he felt. Nothing else mattered.

 

“No, I want you to mind your own fucking business. I want you to leave Frank alone.” Gerard hissed. Andy smiled then.

 

“I don’t fucking think so. Who’s the one who took Frank’s blade? Who’s the one who looked after Frank night after night? Who’s the one who helped him clean up the blood from his wrists because he was so fucking messed up? Who was the one who sat with him and actually gave a fuck? Me and Mikey. We took care of him. Not you.” Andy seethed. Gerard scoffed.

 

“Yeah, my brother. The one who ruined our relationship. The one who actually broke us up.” Gerard glared at his brother.

 

“Oh fuck you. You’re acting like it’s his fault when you went around fucking whoever you wanted behind Frank’s back. If anyone’s to blame it’s you. Act like a man and take credit for what you do.” Andy shook his head. The audacity that the man before him had was unbelievable.

 

“Whatever. As if you know a fucking thing to stand here and judge me. You haven’t been here long enough to say a damn thing.” Gerard said.

 

“Time isn’t what matters here. What actually matters is that you’re a piece of shit and I’ve been the one to pick up your pieces. Get the fuck out of here.” Andy said as he turned away. He opened the door to his apartment and slammed the door behind him. He had better things to do than argue with someone who wasn’t worth his time. Frank was what mattered. And loving Luke was what mattered. Those things were what was really important.

 

When Andy walked inside it was dead silent. He looked up to see the three of them standing before him. Luke had a bright smile on his face and approval shining in his eyes. His boyfriend was smiling softly at him and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to him. Andy smiled and mouthed the words back to him. But what shook him was Frank standing before him, just looking at him. Andy didn’t know what to say so he just stood there. “I need a minute alone with Andy.” Frank spoke and waited for the other two to leave. The two of them walked toward the door.

 

“I wonder if Gerard is still out there. If so, I have a nice gift for him.” Luke said calmly. The other Luke looked at him.

 

“A gift?”

 

“Yup. My foot kicking his fucking dick. I have yet to give him that gift. I’ve been waiting two years for it.” He sighed as the two closed the door behind them. And then it was silent again. Frank hadn’t moved, and neither had Andy. For a moment Andy was worried that Frank was going to be pissed at him for what he’d done. But Frank just gave a halfhearted smile and then looked away as tears started to fill his eyes. Andy then walked over to him and pulled him close.

 

“Did you really fuck him up?” Frank sniffled. Andy nodded.

 

“Are you mad?” Andy asked.

 

“No. I just want to know why you care so damned much when I make it hard to.” Frank chuckled. Andy wrapped his arms around Frank tighter.

 

“You know why. I don’t need to explain. Besides, you’re my pain in the ass. What would I do without you now?” Andy asked. Frank smiled. He then remembered something that Mikey had said to him, and he wanted to get it off his chest.

 

“Mikey said that I manipulated you before.” Frank said solemnly. Andy was silent. He didn’t know what to say to that. “And at first I didn’t understand, but I thought about it. And maybe I did. I know you had feelings for me. It wasn’t fair what I was doing. Causing you that much trouble and making it hard for you. Especially when I knew you did. I did too at one point I think.” Frank took a deep breath then. “I’m sorry for everything-.” Frank tried. Andy silenced him. With a kiss… It wasn’t romantic, or heated, or rushed. It was chaste at best. It was Andy telling Frank that it was okay. It was Andy saying that maybe something could have happened between them. And maybe it would have been good. But it would have never worked. And they both knew why. They weren’t okay. And they needed people who would make them okay in that sense. And they found them. And they didn’t regret a damned thing about it. How could they? “Okay now I can see what Luke means. When you want to, you can give amazing kisses.” Andy laughed and Frank wrapped his arms around Andy.

 

“Shut up.” Andy laughed. It was comfortably quiet as they stood there together. Until Andy spoke up. “You know Mikey loves you right? And he’s really fucked up now. I haven’t seen him that sad.” Andy said solemnly. Frank nodded and sighed.

 

“I need time.” Frank replied, stating his place on the matter. Andy nodded and set his head atop Frank’s.

 

“Time is what you’ll get then.” Andy hummed.

 

~

 

It was quiet between the two of them. They were in Mikey’s car driving back up to Gerard’s house. There was nothing to say really. Mikey was pissed, even more so now. And Gerard was not anywhere near willing to speak to Mikey.

 

“I asked you not to see him. I said don’t go anywhere near him. Not even to see Andy. And you fucking did it anyway.” Mikey spat as he paid attention to the road. He wasn’t sure how though because he felt nauseous enough to vomit up his whole insides.

 

“So what I have to listen to you now? Last time I checked I was older than you Mikey.” Gerard replied. His tone quiet.

 

“That has nothing to do with this! You fucking went to Frank and told him something you had no business telling him! You probably fucked him up even more now! Are you happy?!” Mikey boomed. Gerard rolled his eyes. His nose hurt and his lip was still bleeding. He was in no mood for Mikey’s overdramatic rants.

 

“Mikey stop yelling. It doesn’t matter anyway.” Gerard huffed.

 

“Fuck you. It doesn’t matter to you because you never loved him. You didn’t spend years waiting for him to love you. You didn’t watch as he loved someone else. And you damn well don’t have to lay in an empty fucking bed, wishing he was there with you, because you remember how it felt to have him there for such a short period of time.” Mikey rushed out. His voice was pained and he felt his heart start to break then. The numbness was gone now and all the pain that had been held back by it was rushing out full force to remind him of the mistakes he made.

 

Gerard looked over at his brother and watched him carefully. He looked like he was about to burst into tears or die on the spot. It was true, Gerard didn’t know what Mikey was going through. He never had to wonder what it was like to have Frank love him. He didn’t have to hurt because Frank didn’t love him back. He didn’t have to hurt because Frank now hated him. If he was honest, Gerard didn’t really care anymore that Frank hated him. He thought he would seeing as how he left quickly and without a trace, not bothering to stay and weather the storm that would come from Frank’s pain. All he wanted was to get home and see Lindsey. He just wanted to get into bed and hold her close, forgetting the day ever happened. Frank didn’t matter to him anymore. He was the past. But to Mikey Frank seemed like his future. And only then did Gerard realize how bad he fucked it up. When it came to Frank and Mikey, he always seemed to find a way to fuck things up.

 

“You really have been waiting your whole life for him haven’t you?” Gerard asked as he swiped his lip to rid it of the excess blood. Mikey gripped the steering wheel so tight that Gerard thought he would snap it. Gerard then sighed feeling the true weight of what he just did.

 

“You knew I loved him. You always did. You saw the way I looked at him. I told you so many times that he was it. The one I wanted more than anything. But you never cared. He was always your trophy. The prized possession you showed off because you could. It was never about you loving him. It was about you telling me without words that you had what I wanted. What I couldn’t have. Rubbing it in my face that he loved you and not me. You never gave a fuck about me and how it felt to see you two together.” Mikey said. He then pulled over on the side of the road and turned off the car. It was getting late but Mikey didn’t care. He couldn’t care. And Gerard didn’t dare say a word to him about it.

 

“Mikey I’m sorry.” Gerard said near silently. Mikey scoffed and shook his head as he laughed.

 

“The worst part about this is, is that I had him. I finally had him. He finally loved me. And then you come around again and fuck things up. You ruined it for me. Just when I thought I could be happy and the two of us could get past what you did, you come back and sabotage it. Just because you were mad at me.” Mikey said. He took a deep breath and managed to gain enough composure to start the car and continue on his way to bring Gerard back home. Gerard frowned and looked out the window. He was thinking he should go back the next day and say something to Andy or Frank or whatever person answered the door. But he figured that would only make things worse. So he had kept quiet and waited to get home.

 

When the car stopped Gerard got out and walked up to the front porch of his house. Mikey didn’t follow, but he didn’t take off either. Gerard knew he wasn’t fit to drive home alone. So he walked back to Mikey’s car and knocked on the window. “Come in Mikey. You really shouldn’t drive home like this.”

 

“Why? So I can see Lindsey dote on you and your fucked up face? Having to watch you be happy while I’m so fucking miserable? I don’t think so.” Mikey said. He pulled away from the sidewalk and drove down the street without even saying goodbye. Gerard frowned and sighed. He was worried he had just lost Mikey then.

...

It was true. Mikey really shouldn’t have been driving home the way he was. All he kept thinking about was when he and Frank were together. It was happy. Frank was smiling and laughing. He missed hearing it. He missed seeing Frank the way he used to be. And he loved being the person to make him that way again. It ate him alive that he had Frank and now he didn’t. He hated that he would have to go home and be alone. That he wouldn’t be able to look over in the middle of the night and see Frank there sleeping next to him. That he couldn’t just turn to Frank and kiss him. Or hold him, or just touch him. To be able to feel his breath against his lips after he had just kissed him. To hear Frank tell him that his love was showing every time he got caught looking at him. He missed it and knew that once he got home and faced his empty apartment it would be ten times worse.

 

~

 

It had been two weeks. Andy remembered thinking the same thing not so long ago. Two weeks since Mikey left. Two weeks since he told Luke he loved him. Two weeks… Andy looked over then and saw Frank sitting on the couch quietly to himself as Luke rambled on about how Jaime was such an annoying prick. Frank was different now. He seemed softer. Andy noticed, but he wasn’t sure anyone else had. Mostly because Frank barely talked to anyone but Andy. He was worried now. Worried that Frank would slip back into his old habits because his heart hurt, but then again Andy had no need to worry. Frank knew exactly where his blade was now, and since two weeks ago he hadn’t thought to grab it. But still, old habits die hard.

 

“How is it that you manage to look amazing even when you’re upset?” Luke asked him as he sat down next to Andy at the table in his kitchen. Andy smirked halfheartedly. Luke then took Andy’s hand into his own and frowned slightly.

 

“Frank’s gonna be okay. He’s just stubborn.” Luke said, trying to cheer Andy up. But he just frowned and sighed before lacing their fingers together.

 

In the other room, Frank sat silently listening to Luke ramble on. He didn’t mind really and he noticed that he was losing himself. Because before Luke had started speaking he would have told him not to bother saying a word because he didn’t really like Jaime anyway. But now he was ten minutes deep into hearing how all Jaime wants is sex and nothing more yet he keeps insisting that Luke move in. Frank thought he wouldn’t care, yet there he was listening and seeing the anger and hurt on Luke’s face. Luke portrayed to be this cocky little pervert, but Frank knew he really had emotions.

 

“Have you said I love you yet?” Frank asked softly. Luke shook his head. “Did you ever think that maybe this is his way of showing you that he loves you because he’s too afraid to tell you face to face?” Frank asked.

 

“I didn’t think of it that way. But things were never supposed to be serious between us. I was only sleeping with him because I wanted to be assistant manager. I never thought things would go this far. Besides, we only have sex. There isn’t much of a relationship there.” Luke said. Frank could see through it though. He knew that Luke was really just nervous to be in love with Jaime.

 

“Luke it’s been a year.” Frank said with a small smile on his face.

 

“So!? I mean that doesn’t really mean anything anyway… Does it mean something? Do you really think it means something? You really think he loves me?” Luke rushed out. He was obviously nervous.

 

“I think he might.” Frank smirked. Luke’s cheeks pinked.

 

“So he loves me. Fuck…” Luke breathed out putting his head in his hands. Frank furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“What’s wrong?” Frank asked.

 

“Cause I love him too. Even though he’s a horny bastard and I can barely tolerate him… I love him so much. So fucking much. I need to tell him.” Luke said. He stood up and walked toward the front door only to stop and turn around. “LUKE I NEED A RIDE TO JAIME’S APARTMENT. AND ALSO YOU SHOULD BRING A CAMERA CAUSE I WANT YOU TO TAPE MINE AND JAIME’S LOVE CONFESSION SEX.” Luke yelled out across the apartment.

 

“I’ll give you a ride but I’m not videotaping you and Jaime having sex. I don’t need to see his junk. I have enough with my own and Andy’s.” Luke sighed as he grabbed his car keys and his jacket before walking out the door.

 

“Aw come on Luke. If I set it in one place you won’t see all the details! I wanna remember it with all the angles and details. It’s gotta be perfect!”

 

“No fucking way Luke.” Luke cried. Andy rolled his eyes and sat down next to Frank as the two Luke’s left the apartment arguing about a sex tape. It was quiet for a minute before he noticed that Andy was giving him a look.

 

“What?” Frank asked. Andy frowned and turned to face Frank.

 

“It’s been two weeks Frank.” Andy said quietly. He didn’t want to push Frank, but he had only heard from Mikey once in the past two weeks. It worried him because wasn’t Mikey the one to ask Andy to keep in touch? It seemed odd to him. But besides that, he was worried for Frank. Frank obviously missed Mikey. He just wanted to see Frank happy. And it seemed like it was taking so long for that to happen.

 

“I’m aware Andy.” Frank grumbled. Andy sighed and looked down at his hands.

 

“You should call him. I’m worried about him.” Andy said. He didn’t want to guilt trip Frank into doing something he didn’t want to. And that wasn’t what this was. He was genuinely worried about Mikey. And he thought Frank should know.

 

“Me too.” Frank said as he looked away from Andy. Andy furrowed his eyebrows. Why would Frank be worried?

 

“Why are you worried?” Andy asked. Frank’s light eyes seemed dark then as he looked into Andy’s blue ones.

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Frank hummed. Andy took that as a cue to tell him why.

 

“He asked if I would still talk to him even if you wouldn’t. I said yes, and he seemed okay then. But it’s been two weeks and I only saw him once in that time. I’m just a little worried.” Andy admitted. Frank sighed and buried his head in his arms that were wrapped around his legs. When he finally lifted his head two minutes later he could see clear concern written across Frank’s face.

 

“I haven’t seen him walk by the music store either. He always walked by the music store. But it’s been two weeks and I haven’t seen him once. What if something’s wrong?” Frank asked. He could hear the fear in Frank’s voice. It was clear as day. Andy just needed to find a way to ease it.

 

“Maybe you should talk to him then. I mean isn’t two weeks long enough Frank?” Andy said, somewhat desperate to have Frank fix things so he didn’t have to worry about either of them. Scratch that. He would always worry about Frank. That was inevitable.

 

“I spent four years fucked up because him and his brother lied to me about what happened. And you expect two weeks to be enough time for me to be angry and hurt? Whose side are you on Andy?” Frank asked, angry. Andy groaned.

 

“Yours always. You know that. But that’s not what I mean. We’re both obviously wondering if something is wrong. Don’t you think we should figure that out?” Andy asked. Frank rolled his eyes and set his chin on his arms.

 

“A part of me keeps telling myself that I shouldn’t give him that courtesy until I’m not angry anymore.” Frank said stubbornly. Andy sensed he had more to say.

 

“And what about the other part of you?” Andy asked. Frank looked up at him then, vulnerability shining in his eyes.

 

“The other part… The other part of me wants to run to him. To tell him to come back to me. To tell him I love him and that it’s okay and in the past. That I miss him and don’t want to spend another second without hearing his voice or go another night without feeling him holding me close.” Frank explained, his eyes never leaving Andy’s. And in them he could see all the hurt he went through. All the sadness and the pain that he was feeling. But he knew that it wasn’t from Gerard this time. It was betrayal he felt for Mikey. And Andy cursed everything because he could also see how badly Frank missed him.

 

“So why don’t you just go tell him all these things?” Andy asked. Frank chuckled and shook his head.

 

“Because he broke my fucking heart.”


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild Jade appears with a new chapter. Then proceeds to get killed by the poor souls who wait for these updates. I am sorry and I have no excuse.... But, be happy. I have this chapter and one more before this story is finished. Actually... Be sad. Be as sad as I am... But besides that leave comments. Leave a bunch of them. I like to know what you think. Please tell me. Come onnnnnnn.

A month had now gone by. Frank wasn’t talking to anyone anymore, and Andy didn’t even have the slightest clue how to get to Mikey. Andy was at a loss now. Before when Frank was stubborn, he knew how to deal with him. But now with the soft spoken words and the undiluted silence… It was becoming harder to understand how to help Frank. When Kat got soft and quiet, Andy would hold her to make her feel better. He would sing her a song and she would cheer up just enough for Andy to calm down and know what to do from there. But Frank was different. Andy knew that. He just didn’t know if the same thing would work on him.

 

Andy wasn’t sure where to start. Frank seemed so distant. And this was no place of Andy’s. He couldn’t just go up to Frank and tell him how to feel. How to react. Andy hadn’t been in that kind of situation before. This was new for them both. He just wished he knew what the right way to broach the subject was. It seemed that Frank was just getting worse. Andy was afraid to leave him. He had made sure someone was always there when Frank was alone. It was becoming exhausting and panic inducing.

 

“What do I do?” Andy sighed as he fell down on the couch next to Luke. Frank’s Luke. He was a different perspective on Frank, so Andy looked to him more often nowadays.

 

“I’m telling you man. Suck him off once and he’ll listen to anything you say.” Luke said. When Andy didn’t say anything Luke looked up to the meanest glare he’s ever seen. So Luke huffed and turned to Andy seriously. “I’ve seen Frank like this before. The only thing that ever brought him out of this funk was you. Maybe you just need to spend some alone time with him. Take him out and really talk to him about it.” Luke spoke sincerely. Andy tipped his head back against the cushion on the couch and thought it over. It was a good idea.

 

“Yeah that isn’t a half bad idea.” Andy thought aloud.

 

“What isn’t a bad idea?” Came a soft reply. Andy looked over to Frank who had just walked in the door. He set his keys down and toed off his shoes. His face one downward slope, depicting his mood perfectly. Andy frowned sadly.

 

“How about we go out? Just you and I. We could go get something to eat and then watch a movie or take a walk or something..?” Andy offered. Frank ran his hand through his hair and breathed out a sigh.

 

“Sure. Why not.” Frank spoke in the most unenthusiastic voice possible. Andy wasn’t upset, he couldn’t be. Not with Frank. Come to think of it, all he wanted to do was hold the man and make him feel better.

 

“How about you go take a shower and possibly rub one out, then bundle up in something nice and cozy. Andy will figure everything out and by the time you’re all dressed you guys can head out.” Luke smirked. Frank rolled his eyes and scowled, but he nodded and as he walked by he slipped his hand into Luke’s until it fell out as he left the room.

 

“Is there a serious bone in your body?” Andy asked almost fed up with Luke’s nonchalant attitude.

 

“Right. Like Frank needs another serious, pining asshole to make him realize how fucked up things are.” Luke hummed as he fingered a page in one of the multiple music magazines that Frank had lying around. Andy furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Who’s pining?” Andy asked most of his anger subsided as he asked the question. Quite afraid of Luke’s answer.

 

“You are obviously. Why do you think lover boy is so worried all the fucking time? Your heart is set on Frank, yet you can’t have him. It’s sad really.” Luke furrowed his eyebrows down at the page he was half paying attention to. He then nodded and flipped the next page.

 

“I’m not pining for Frank.” Andy said. His voice sounded sure and he felt like he was sure. But like any normal person’s would, his mind began to wonder if the idea was true.

 

“You don’t sound so sure Andy-boy. Take a second guess, you might be surprised at the answer.” Luke said as he finally lifted his head from the magazine to look Andy in the eye. Andy frowned again.

 

“I have Luke now. We’re in love.” Andy said. Hoping his voice sounded more convincing. He was positive that Luke was wrong.

 

“Yikes. Denial. That hurts like a son of a bitch.” Luke mumbled. Andy shook his head. Even if Luke was right, which Andy didn’t think he was, there was nothing he could do about it. Frank was head over heels for Mikey. And no matter what, Andy would never jeopardize that. Not for a damned thing.

 

“Even if you were right, there’s nothing I would do. There would be nothing I could do… You know that.” Andy said as his blue eyes met Luke’s brown. Luke frowned and sighed.

 

“No, you’re right there really isn’t anything you could do that wouldn’t fuck with Frank even more.” Luke said solemnly. “This hurts man I wanted you two together. You would have been way better.” Luke shook his head.

 

Andy smirked. He knew he would have. So for the first time, he indulged in what could have been. What he wanted. He had told himself that he only felt that way because of Kat. That being with Frank would not work out in any way because they were both fucked up royally. And that had been enough to make Andy understand. Enough to make him realize. But now it wasn’t. It wouldn’t be enough anymore. So he sighed and shook his head. Nothing would come from him dwelling. He couldn’t change anything. And even if he could, he wouldn’t.

 

“I’m ready.” Frank called out as he pulled on his jacket. He walked to the front door and slipped on his shoes.

 

“Are you ready Andy?” Luke asked seriously. Andy looked at him and for the first time, saw a real expression of concern. Andy smiled and ruffled Luke’s hair.

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

~

 

“What’s this about?” Frank asked as they walked slowly. It wasn’t freezing cold anymore. It was bordering on spring. But it dark out now. And the wind was picking up. So Andy stepped closer to Frank and told himself it was because it was chilly out. He wasn’t sure if he was just telling himself that.

 

“Why does it have to be about anything?” Andy asked as he looked over at Frank. Frank narrowed his eyes.

 

“There’s no way this isn’t about anything.” Frank said quietly. Andy rolled his eyes. Frank was always suspicious.

 

“I just wanted to spend some time with you. Is that so bad?” Andy asked. Frank was silent for a moment before he stopped walking and turned to Andy.

 

“Andy I know what this is about. I don’t want to see him yet. You can’t keep pressuring me to do it, it won’t make me change my mind-.”

 

“Frank. This has nothing to do with Mikey. I promise you that.” Andy said as he looked down at Frank. Frank still didn’t believe him, but he sighed and continued to walk.

 

“So where are we going?” Frank asked. Andy smirked. Frank furrowed his eyebrows and turned to Frank.

 

“Where I would have taken you on our first date.” Andy smiled at Frank. Frank managed a small grin and continued to walk. It was comfortably quiet after that. But Frank couldn’t help the look that flashed through Andy’s eyes just then. It looked like sadness. Frank was unsure of what the look meant. He tried to push the thought aside but every time Andy looked at him like that it always reminded him about what Mikey said.

 

 _‘Don’t fucking manipulate me like you did to Andy_.’

 

Sometimes Frank wondered what it would have been like. How things would have went if he had just let Andy be there for him. If he would have just trusted him to begin with. He wondered if Andy would have been better. But wondering about that wouldn’t do any good. He was in love with Mikey. Heart broken, but in love with him inevitably.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Andy asked. Frank looked over at him and just watched him for a moment. Sometimes Andy seemed to have this look. It was only there fleetingly and he didn’t see it on his face except for when he was in Frank’s company. He wondered if Andy even knew it was there himself. But that was a bad thought to have. No one needed to bring up those thoughts. They would only cause trouble.

 

“Ahh… Nothing. Just something that isn’t even worth mentioning…” Frank lied easily. A lie was what was best. “So where is this place?” Frank asked. Andy pointed up ahead, and he saw a small diner.

 

They got to the small diner and took their seats. After a while everything drifted away and they were talking peacefully. Nothing about Mikey. Nothing about anyone else. Just things they had in common. Things Frank never thought to learn about Andy. Things he liked about Andy now that he knew them. And suddenly Frank was roped into this thought. This troublesome thought. One that would only complicate things further. Either hurt one or both of them on some level. But he just couldn’t help it. He wanted to know what it would have been like if he avoided all the self-depreciating things he was so stuck to, and just opted for Andy instead. So he spoke up. Not being able to hold it in anymore.

 

“Hey Andy… What do you think it would have been like if we actually were together?” Frank asked as he held his cup of coffee. Andy didn’t look up at him. He messed with his own cup of coffee and then sighed, finding whatever courage he could to look at Frank and speak.

 

“I… I think it would have been good. I can’t really say, but I’ve thought about it before. When Mikey first came around… But then I think that maybe it wouldn’t have been good.” Andy spoke in syllables here. Beating around the bush. Avoiding details.

 

“What do you mean?” Frank asked. He was curious, and he never really could stop himself from prying when he was dying to know something.

 

“Well… I wonder what it would have been like to help you get better if we were together at the time. But it just seems like it would have been too hard. I would have been so wrapped up in you that helping you wouldn’t have mattered anymore. I would have been more interested in making what we had work. And that would have been detrimental for you.” Andy explained. Frank nodded and looked away from Andy.

 

“I manipulated you at first. And I really regret it when it was so obvious you…” Frank trailed off. Andy looked at Frank and knew what he was going to say. But like the masochist he was for the man in front of him, he needed to hear it for himself.

 

“What was obvious?” Andy asked. Frank sighed and looked up into the familiar blue eyes.

 

“It was obvious you had feelings for me… And I think that maybe…” Frank could feel the regret and wistfulness radiating in the air around them. It was like unspoken words and possibilities had made their home inside of the issues they already had. “Maybe you still do…” Frank finally said. Andy smiled down into his drink and shook his head.

 

“Maybe that’s why Luke is so nervous. He’s seeing something that I don’t.” Andy spoke. Frank didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing at all. Andy then frowned and it was relevant that he had some things that he needed to say. “I thought that you were my second chance. And it felt like it. Still does. But like with Kat I always put her wants and need first. And I did the same for you. So when I thought about where I belonged, and where Mikey belonged it was clear that I didn’t fit. He was meant to be there and I wasn’t. Or so it seemed.” It was silent between the two. Tensely so. With Andy feeling a certain way, and Frank feeling awful for what could have been. It remained silent until Frank spoke up.

 

“I’m… Andy I’m so sorry.” Frank spoke. And despite this not being his fault, he felt he needed to say it. As if those words would heal all. Even though he knew they wouldn’t.

 

“There isn’t anything to be sorry for. Things happened and you fell in love with him. I can’t fault you for that. It would be like blaming anyone else but myself for falling in love with you.” Andy spoke. He looked into Frank’s eyes and smiled. But the tears and sadness were evident. Frank had never felt worse in his life.

 

~

 

“What am I supposed to do Luke?” Frank asked as he sorted through the magazines the music store had on display. Luke sat atop the counter and shrugged. He never really had it in him to be serious. It came sporadically when he knew the time called for it.

 

“You could have them both. Ya know like one of those three way relationship things. I would pay to watch the three of you fuck.” Luke said as he flipped through a new magazine.

 

“Luke. Come on this is serious. I’m stuck here.” Frank hissed. Luke looked up and huffed out a sigh.

 

“You’re in love with Mikey right? So stay in love with him. You know how Andy is. He won’t let you leave Mikey. He just wants you to be happy. Do you really think he would have gone through all this pain just for you to not be happy? That would be like slapping him in the face.” Luke explained. Frank thought about what he said for a minute.

 

“What do I do then?” Frank asked. Luke glared at the older man.

 

“You do exactly what you were doing before this issue came up. Heal yourself so that way when you decide to talk to Mikey you won’t make a dumb decision.” Luke said. Frank growled. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? Why couldn’t he be happy? Why couldn’t Andy be happy? Why couldn’t everyone be happy? Everyone but Gerard that is.

 

“I just want Andy’s happiness. I want him to be so happy. He went out of his way to make sure I was okay, yet he has to sit around being sad. This is fucked up.” Frank hissed again.

 

“That’s how life is Frank. Fucked up things happen to nice people. There’s nothing you can do about it.” Luke said with a slight frown.

 

~

 

“Andy… Do you even love me?” Luke asked. Andy looked up at him and nodded with a confused look on his face.

 

“Of course I do.” Andy replied. It wasn’t a lie. Nowhere near it. Luke was the one he could see himself being with. He just needed time to understand some things. To put himself in the right place where he could actually learn to fall in love with Luke. Saying he was in love with Luke was a premature, spur of the moment thing when he was feeling vulnerable. He meant it, but probably not in the way Luke meant it toward him.

 

“It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like this whole time I have been trying to win you over from Frank. And I swear to god if you tell me that I am wrong I will leave and never come back.” Luke spat. Andy sighed.

 

“You’re not wrong.” Andy spoke softly. Luke looked shocked. Andy felt terrible for it. He couldn’t lie to Luke. He felt bad enough the past few days since he went out with Frank.

 

“Why couldn’t you just lie?” Luke asked as he ran his hand through his hair. He knew this already. Why didn’t he just brace himself for it?

 

“I couldn’t. But I need you to know something.” Andy started. He waited until Luke looked at him. And when he did, Andy felt terrible. This was eating Luke alive and it was all Andy’s fault. He took one of Luke’s hands in his own and held it gently. “I didn’t do this to you on purpose. I truly did think that I was over it. That I had learned that what happened, happened and I could do nothing about it. But you need to understand that this happened to me twice. I followed the same pattern a second time and I don’t know how to change it.” Andy explained. Luke sighed.

 

“Does this mean that we should break up?” Luke asked. Andy laced his fingers with Luke’s and rested his forehead against his.

 

“I think this means we need to try harder this time around. I learned something recently Luke and I think this time I can refrain from making another mistake.” Andy said with a small nod.

 

“What is it?” Luke asked curiously.

 

“I can’t change the way people feel. I think that maybe I thought I could before, but I just can’t. And knowing that now puts a lot of things into perspective. And it also makes me realize that I have been missing possibly the best thing that could have been given to me.” When Andy spoke, only half of it made sense. The other half flew right over Luke’s head.

 

“What do you mean?” Luke questioned, he was confused.

 

“You. It made me understand that I need to take things how they come and not try to fix them all the time. Not everything needs to be fixed. I need to take things as they come. And I need to appreciate them for what they are. And I need to learn to appreciate you. So, yes I love you. And I want to learn to love you every single day because you deserve nothing less than that.” Andy said. Luke took a deep breath and then pressed his lips to Andy’s.

 

“God, you fucking amaze me.” Luke said. He was wondering how every time he was ready to leave, Andy gave him another reason to stay. Luke thought it had to be fate. Luke had to find him for a reason. To be the one to fix the man who tried fixing everyone.

 

“And you fix me.” Andy replied. Luke smiled and rested his head in the crook of Andy’s neck.

 

~

 

“But are you sure?” Frank asked. Andy laughed and nodded.

 

“Yes Frank, I’m okay.” Andy smiled, the way things were now was not how he expected them to be. He had thought that things would have been a lot different. Maybe he would have been with Frank and Frank would have been happy. Maybe he would have ended up alone and Frank would have been just fine. Who knows?

 

“I wish things could have been different.” Frank said. Andy’s smile wavered then. It fell slowly and he looked at the floor before he scrubbed his head and smoothed his hair down. It slid through his fingers and softly fell back into that slick style he’d adapted.

 

“They aren’t though Frank.” Andy hummed. He didn’t want to keep dwelling. He didn’t want things to be sad or awkward whenever they were alone together. He wanted it to go back to when Frank was happy with Mikey and when he was happy with Luke. He was happy with Luke now. But thinking about what could have been would only make things worse.

 

“But what if I made the wrong decision? What if you were the right choice?” Frank asked as he turned to Andy on his couch. They’d agreed to spend the day at Frank’s place. Cleaning and going through the things he didn’t need anymore.

 

“We’ll never know that Frank.” Andy said quietly. He didn’t want Frank to keep dwelling on this. He was only doing it to cover up the hurt that Mikey had laid upon him. Andy knew that much about Frank. He took on a new hurt to blanket the old hurt so it didn’t sting as badly. But it would sting either way.

 

“What if I want to know?” Frank asked. His eyes never left Andy’s and he waited patiently for Andy to say something. Unlike Andy, Frank didn’t know of his habit. He just felt it and didn’t know where to put it. So he rationalized it in his own way. Which was a really unhealthy and volatile, but it was all he knew.

 

“What are you saying, Frank?” Andy asked. He was growing worried about where this conversation was going. He didn’t want Frank to say or do something he would regret later on.

 

“I’m just saying… I want to know what it would have been like. Instead of dealing with Mikey again. Instead of having to know the truth about Gerard. What if I would have just trusted you enough? What if I would have just let you in?” Frank asked. He looked away from Andy and down at the coffee table before them. He felt pathetic now. He felt like his life was just a continuous series of mistakes. Gerard, Mikey, not loving Andy. How was he even living at this point? With everything that happened it didn’t even seem like he should have been alive. Or at least that was how he felt.

 

“Frank, you _love_ Mikey. You’re in love with him. You really can’t deny that. Life is made up of fuck ups after fuck ups. You have to get used to that. Mistakes are what make you realize what you did right. And what you did right was fall in love with Mikey. I could never explain how happy you looked when he was around. How happy he looked after all that time with his love just being one sided.” Andy spoke happily, remembering everything that happened in that short period of time. He looked at Frank and all he could make out was a vulnerable expression that was just begging to be let go. Frank was tired. He was so tired of the sadness and pain. All he wanted was to be happy. And Andy was trying his damnedest to make that happen. It just seemed like and endless battle at this point.

 

“Andy… You just don’t know what this has been like. How much hurt I had to deal with. How much fucking agony I put myself through on a daily basis because of this. It never ends. It never will. How can I go back to him? How can I allow myself to love him when there has been so much that has happened?” Frank asked. He was right. Andy didn’t know what happened, or how Frank felt. He had just spent his time and effort picking up the pieces. He couldn’t deny that there had been a lot that had happened. He learned it first hand when that bastard Gerard showed up and let him know just how much history there was. But what Andy did know was that Frank set these unrealistic standards for himself. He set these rules that he thought he had to live by or everyone else would think him weak. But what Frank needed to understand was that no one that truly mattered to him would think him weak. He was one of the strongest people Andy knew. And that was admirable.

 

“How? Because you love him god damnit. He loves you and you belong together. Do you really think he would have lied and saved you from further hurt if he really didn’t love you? He went against his own brother to protect you. He lied so his brother would think and treat you better. Granted it backfired, but he did it for you. To save you. He did it because he was so in love with you and the thought of you being happy with his brother was better than you being alone and depressed. Think about that.” Andy said with all the sincerity he could conjure up. He was on Mikey’s side. And like Mikey, Frank’s happiness meant more than anything else. Frank was silent then. He sighed, stood up and ran his hands down his face. “Well?” Andy asked.

 

“Yeah yeah whatever. Get you sweater and let’s go.” Frank grumbled out as he walked toward the door.

 

“Where are we going?” Andy wondered as he grabbed his sweater from the back of Frank’s couch.

 

“We’re going to get my boyfriend that’s where. And not another fucking word about it or I’ll kill you.” Frank growled as he opened the door and waited for Andy. Andy smiled victoriously and hurried to the door.

 

“There’s the Frankie I love.” Andy said as he walked out of the door. Frank rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him.

 

~

 

“Stop calling me.” Mikey hissed into the phone. He was sat alone in his bathtub, cursing the world and his own idiocy.

 

“Mikey, I haven’t called you in four days. I need to at least check up on you.” Came the familiar voice on the other end.

 

“Why? Afraid I’ll off myself? I might as well. Frank isn’t coming back. And it’s all your fault.” Mikey mumbled.

 

“Yeah I get it, you hate me. Big deal. But you know something Mikey? Take some of your own fucking responsibility. I fucked Frank over, yes. But you fucking lied and manipulated me into leaving him, whether that was your intention or not. Grow up and understand that actions _always_ have a consequence, good or bad. Get used to it.” Gerard hissed.

 

“Yeah you’re right.” Mikey conceded. It was partially his fault. But believing that made it ten times harder to deal with what happened. He’d been blaming Gerard for everything and that has fueled his anger. But knowing that he had a part in what made Frank leave him, that was too much to bear. “Blaming you was just easier to swallow.” Mikey breathed out.

 

“I know. And I wish that you could just keep blaming me. But doing that won’t make anything better.” Gerard hummed. In hindsight Gerard could take full blame and let Mikey grieve the way he needed to. But doing that would only give Mikey another excuse to sit alone in his apartment and sulk for the rest of his life. Gerard couldn’t see that. He needed to give Mikey a reason to get out of that tub and go get Frank back. Or to at least get some closure. He knew firsthand that Frank was not a very forgiving person. So odds were that Frank would hold a grudge and never want to see Mikey again.

 

“What will?” Mikey asked. It was sad and hollow. It sounded so small and childish in the worst of ways. Like a young Mikey looking up to his older brother, asking him why he felt sad without any reason to. It hurt Gerard to hear the sound of his younger brother’s voice. So broken and without hope.

 

“I don’t know Mikey…” But what hurt worse than that was the fact that he didn’t have an answer to soothe his younger brother’s pain.

 

“Have you ever needed something so much? Not just wanting it. No that doesn’t fit. Just _needing_ it. As if the end of the world would come if you didn’t have it. If it wasn’t with you forever. For the rest of your pathetic fucking life. Have you ever _felt_ that kind of desperation?” Mikey asked almost pleading to his older brother. Wondering if he was irrational for feeling the way he was.

 

“I have Mikes. I know what that’s like.” He replied easily. It was the truth, he did know what that was like. And she was sleeping on the couch, curled into his side. He looked down at her and felt an overwhelming sense of fear. That emotion was so strong he still felt it to this day, hoping that she would stay with him always.

 

“I can’t even bring myself to walk by the music store. If I even see him I feel like I’ll fall apart.” Mikey said softly. He had resigned his anger and desperation now. He was just simply riding on the waves of agony that kept crashing into him like dead weight; heavy, and lifeless.

 

“Are you going to be okay Mikey? Do you need me to come down and-.” Gerard was cut off halfway through his questions.

 

“I’ll be fine.” Mikey huffed sadly.

 

“But will you be okay?” Gerard asked. Mikey huffed out a deep breath and then answered.

 

“No. But don’t worry, I won’t do anything stupid.” Mikey reassured his worrying older brother.

 

“Okay… Call me, no matter when. I’ll always talk to you.” Gerard spoke, hoping that his intentions were read clearly, and even more so, he hoped his brother would listen.

 

“Okay Gee. I will.” Mikey said finally. He hung up the phone and rested his head against the surrounding tile of his bathroom. He closed his eyes lightly and tried to remember the last time that Frank had kissed him. What it felt like. How warm it was. It came easier than he thought and then his chest ached so badly that he had to place his hand there to keep from feeling like a pool of blood along with his shredded heart would fall out.

 

Then there was a knocking on his door. He lifted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. He stood up and stepped out of the tub, running a hand through his hair and sighing. He didn’t know who could be at the door, so he just opened it without asking, and prayed for the sweet release that was death.

 

Until he saw Frank standing there silently, with his hands half inside the sleeves of his sweater, looking up at Mikey as if he had just seen the best thing his mind could think up.

 

Only then did he wish he would live for years on end just to keep seeing that look.


	12. Part 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter everyone. It makes me so sad to let it go, but it is all done and I am so happy I wrote this. It was a journey for myself and I couldn't have asked for a better one. I also had a rough morning hearing that Alan Rickman died. Rest in piece good man. You will be missed. So long and goodnight. XO

“Frank…” Mikey breathed out quietly. Frank gave a small smirk.

 

“Hi Mikey...” Frank replied. Mikey was stunned speechless. He had just given up hope on ever seeing Frank again and now here he was, right in front of him. Of his own free will.

 

“Come in! I mean, if you want to. You don’t have to. We can talk like this that’s okay too.” Mikey was rambling. Frank raised an eyebrow at him and walked in slowly. Mikey felt like an idiot and yet he was so happy. Happy that Frank was there, willing to see him. Even if it was a month later. Mikey closed the door behind Frank and stood there silently, waiting for him to say something.

 

“Your place doesn’t look any different, Mikey.” Frank mumbled quietly. It was true. He still had the same crappy furniture all these years later. He enjoyed his crappy apartment, and nodded to Frank as if lost in all the memories each piece held. He was.

 

“I’m not a big fan of change. You know that Frankie.” Mikey said. He surveyed the old apartment and then looked at Frank. It was as if he were a piece of Mikey’s furniture, holding memories in his eyes and portraying them through nonexistent seams. Mikey was captivated by the man before him. But that went without saying.

 

“Hmm… I know. That’s why you love me after all these years.” Frank hummed as he looked around the familiar space.

 

“I love you after all this time because you’re you. Everything about you perfects me in the most extraordinary ways. You’re everything that’s missing in me. And I’d like to think that I’m everything that’s missing in you…” Mikey spoke softly before looking Frank in the eyes. Frank furrowed his eyebrows and looked almost upset.

 

“Why is it that you get to say things like that to me..? Why do you get to make me love you even when I hate you..?” Frank asked. Mikey was about to answer, but he figured that answering that question -rhetorical or not- would be a very bad idea. “Why do I feel like without you my world has stopped? Why do you get to be that person? Why couldn’t you just be a normal person to me? Another liar to cause me unnecessary pain.” Frank snapped. Mikey just stood silently. He deserved everything and more that Frank could dish out. But somehow he felt like all of this… It was all Frank’s way of saying he was hurt. 

 

“I’m sorry…” Mikey breathed out. He felt ashamed of himself. And then a wave of defense and his own pent up hurt lashed out. “But you know something Frank?”

 

“What?” Frank spat.

 

“Even though I would like to go back and do things over I would never change lying to you. I would never take back being with you the way I was before everything happened. I did what I did because I love you.” Mikey explained. Frank huffed and looked away.

 

“You keep saying that! But it just feels like you took advantage of me just to get into my bed!” Frank cried. Mikey ran his hands through his hair.

 

“You think I took advantage of you? Are you fucking kidding me, Frank?” Mikey was insulted. Everything he did was for Frank. He did it because he loved him and wanted him to just be fucking happy.

 

“How am I supposed to feel when you lied to me? You knew that would piss me off! You kept a huge secret, knowing it would hurt me, and you still let me be with you! You’re an asshole!” Frank accused.

 

“I’m an asshole!? I don’t control you Frank! You do what you want! You wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” Mikey hissed.

 

“Yeah right! You came to me with all that ‘I love you’ shit. How was I supposed to turn you down?” Frank asked.

 

“Easy! ‘Sorry I don’t want you that way’. Simple as that!” Mikey growled.

 

“Whatever Mikey!” Frank grumbled.

 

“You can keep trying to blame me for the way you feel but Frank that had to do with the both of us. I lied and hurt you, yeah. But you can’t blame me for you loving me.” Mikey had simmered down now. Frank was aggravated because he knew Mikey was right. So that gave Mikey enough time to think up something right to say before Frank boiled over again looking for another excuse to be angry at him.

 

“I can. You came into my life and messed everything up. You came back and made me remember you. You made me remember every fucking thing you did for me. I could have let it all go. I was close too. But you had to come back to me.” Frank was calm now. It seemed as though he was losing his composure. Losing all his heat. As if he was ready to give up. Mikey hated that look on his face.

 

“I needed to know you were okay. Despite how hard this was for you. It was just as hard for me. And shut the fuck up because yes it was.” Mikey silenced Frank before he could speak. “I’ve loved you since the day we met. Since I looked into your eyes, I’ve wanted nothing more than to just be the one that you turn to for everything. To be the person to protect you from every fucked up thing my brother did to you. And I tried.” Mikey confessed. It was known by absolutely everyone now how Mikey felt. But Frank seemed to gloss over that one fact quite often. It was as if he didn’t understand it. Or maybe that fact wasn’t as important to him. But Mikey needed him to understand that now. He needed him to know just how much he loved him.

 

“And you failed. Miserably. It wouldn’t have been so bad if you would have known and minded your own business. But you got involved. You went and meddled and look how it ended.” Frank said. And that was exactly what Mikey wanted to avoid. Frank stating the obvious wrongs he had done over and over.

 

  
“You’re missing the fucking point here. You’re not understanding what I was trying to do. What I was trying to protect you from. You don’t fucking get it do you!?” Mikey yelled. Frank was silent. He didn’t know what to say now. He had went there on a whim. He hadn’t planned what he wanted to say. He hadn’t decided how he wanted to start, or sorted his thoughts into rational paragraphs that could be spoken easily. That wasn’t how Frank worked to be completely fucking honest. He just went with what he felt. And most of the time that was a rather bad idea. His emotions were what got him into trouble.

 

“I can’t get it. You should know that. You claim to love me and know me. But you should know that that killed me inside. It fucking ruined me. I fell in love with you. I was over that fucked up part of my life. I was so fucking sure I was ready for whatever it was that you had to tell me. But then it was just so much worse than what I had imagined. Take that into consideration, Mikey.” Frank spoke as calmly as he could. There was so much running through him at the moment.

 

“Then take into consideration that what happened was a mistake. A mistake that I made, hoping it would make my fucking idiot of a brother realize that you were perfect in every way. But it backfired. Can you really hold it against me knowing I tried for you? To make you happy, when you were so miserable.” Mikey asked. He was still so angry. But Frank seemed to think about that. As if there was a new way to take the fucked up scenario he had been dealt and look at it in a new way. Mikey had hoped that that was the case. He hoped that Frank would finally understand what he had been trying to do. Despite how badly it ended, he hoped that Frank would look at it as Mikey’s own sacrifice to make Frank happy.

 

Frank was quiet again. He looked down and thought about what actually happened. Okay, so Mikey did lie to Gerard, which did in fact make him leave. But Gerard would have left anyway. He was never in love with Frank. Inevitably they wouldn’t have worked, and the four years they had would have ultimately been for nothing. But Frank knew that already, so there was no need to be angry at something he had already accepted. And then he looked at how Mikey must have felt. How he must have suffered watching that all those years. And then to top it off, being selfless enough to actually try and make his brother see sense. To make him understand how badly he was hurting the man who loved him.

 

Frank looked up at Mikey and instantly felt himself softening. He thought about all the sacrifices Mikey must have made. Not even just the one that had backfired. Frank remembered Mikey being around always. He was Frank’s closest friend, he told him everything about his relationship with Gerard. And thinking about how hard that must have been for all that time. To just sit and listen, happy to be in his presence even though it hurt like a motherfucker. Frank suddenly felt so selfish for so many reasons. He felt selfish because he knew he could never have done what Mikey did.

 

Thinking about it, Frank would have confessed as soon as the feelings became unbearable. He would have begged for Mikey to love him the same. He would never have been able to sit idly by and watch as someone else loved the man he loved. He wouldn’t have even been able to force himself to lie to make someone love him better. Frank then wondered how he could have been surrounded by so many selfless people when he himself was so selfish. He wondered why he deserved Mikey. Why he loved him so much when the man didn’t deserve it. Why did he even have Andy who was just like Mikey in so many ways? And more than all of that, he fell so much harder for Mikey now that he understood it better.

 

“Mikey, I-.” Frank tried. But Mikey would have none of it.

 

“Don’t sit here and tell me again how you can’t understand it. How even though you’re trying, it still doesn’t make any sense. I don’t want to hear it. I love you okay? I do what I do because I love you. Even if you think it’s all stupid. Even if you say you don’t care.” Mikey snapped. Frank felt he deserved that.

 

“I was just going to say that you’re right, but okay.” Frank said with a smug feeling taking over his features, ever so slightly. Mikey was about to speak again when he realized what was just said. He then stood silent with a confused look on his face. “I was going to tell you that you have a selflessness that I could never match up to. I could never watch someone love you knowing that all I want is to spend my life with you. I could never sit and let someone treat you terribly and try to make them see sense and love you right. I would try to steal you for myself and keep you always. The way you love me, is the way I always wished someone would love me. And I want to learn how to love you the same. I want you to know no matter what I do that I love you, because that is how you love me.” Frank confessed. He couldn’t move from his spot. He was worrying if he was coming too close to seeming weak. But even if he was Mikey would think no less of him for it. He would just love him all the more for showing him a side so few got to see.

 

“Frankie, you are all that to me. You being the way you are and who you are is the way I want you to love me. And knowing that you love me at all… I could never ask for more.” Mikey spoke softly. He had a small lining of tears in his eyes and Frank hated that he thought it was beautiful. That he thought how open and honest he was was breathtaking. In some ways he wanted to learn how to be just like Mikey. But in others he wanted to defile all that he was until he was just like Frank himself. Frank wasn’t sure if that was normal. But for now he would settle with the thought that it just had to be what love felt like. When it was mutual and so fucking palpable that you could spread it thin everyone would just _know_ what it was.

 

“I fucking love you.” Frank choked out. He was sure he was falling apart somehow. Whether it was him finding who he would become with Mikey at his side, or even if it was just him breaking all over to start fresh, he just didn’t care. He didn’t care because in that moment all he could see was how fucking bright everything looked now. How happy he felt with just the shitty job and fantastic friends- no _family_ he had. Everything was fucking perfect.

 

“I love you too.” Mikey said. He has the biggest smile that Frank had ever seen on his face, and he swore to whoever could fucking hear him that he would do everything in his power to keep it there. Frank couldn’t stop how hard he crashed into Mikey. How tightly he wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck. How shakily he breathed him in. How slowly he laced his fingers in the soft hair he could reach.

 

“Would it be okay if I loved you for the rest of my life?” Frank asked as tears slid down his cheeks and onto Mikey’s pale skin.

 

“I wouldn’t take anything less. Not now.” Mikey replied. Frank pulled back, reluctantly, but he just needed to see him. To look Mikey in the face and know that his whole future was looking at him in the _exact_ same way. He leaned in softly and was met with the slow brush of Mikey’s lips. The soft warmth that he’d longed for for over a month. Screw that. For years. It held their promises. And each kiss after that would hold the same thing. No matter how quick or heated they would be.

 

"YES FUCKING YES. FINALLY!” Luke cried as he rushed through Mikey’s door. After that piled Andy, the other Luke, and a smiling Jaime. Frank didn’t look at anyone else. Just Mikey as he hugged the man tightly to him.

 

“I love you Mikey.” Frank said. It held a sort of finality. And surprisingly, Frank was more than okay with that.

 

“I love you too Frankie.” Mikey replied and held him tightly. Frank opened his eyes and the first person’s they met were Andy’s. He mouthed a thank you to him. But Andy shook his head as his own set of tears started to form and he mouthed back ‘no… thank you.’

 

~

 

A year had passed since Frank and Mikey had gotten together for good. Everyone was happy now. Jaime and Luke had moved in together and were saying I love you as frequently as possible. You could blame that all on Luke. Andy and Luke had just said I love you’s. It was real this time, Andy meant it and Luke was so happy that it was real. That Andy actually loved him freely. Luke couldn’t ask for more. As for Frank and Mikey. Things were better than they’d expected. They were happy and like an old married couple. Well an old married couple that had amazing sex on an almost daily basis.

 

Mikey! I told you to take the fucking trash out! We have company coming over!” Frank snapped.

 

“Babe! I keep asking you where you want to go, but you never answer me!” Mikey called out as he walked into the kitchen. Frank was about to yell something back when he just smiled and playfully glared at Mikey.

 

“You think that’s funny?” Frank asked with a chuckle. Mikey smiled.

 

“I do.” He laughed. Frank rolled his eyes. He was so happy. And it hit him in waves sometimes. He almost found it hard to believe that he was this happy.

 

“Come here you fucking jerk.” Frank called. Mikey walked over to him and waited, wondering if Frank would beat him. But he only leaned up and kissed him softly. “Happy Anniversary babe.” Frank said with a small smile. Mikey kissed him again and then kissed his forehead gently.

 

“Happy Anniversary to you too. Let’s have plenty more years together and a bunch of kids along the way.” Mikey chuckled. Frank groaned. And then everyone was piling in the door. And instantly there was a dirty joke accompanying his favorite Luke. And then Andy and the other Luke walked through the door looking as if they were eternally meant to hold each other’s hand. Frank smiled. Andy deserved that and more. Sometimes Frank wondered if Andy was really happy. Sure he said he was and he sounded genuine. Frank couldn’t deny that. But something that worried on his mind was one thing. And he would get his answer once and for all. Frank couldn’t seem to get the thought out of his mind all night. He wanted his answer and he would need to know soon. But he was having trouble finding the right moment. But it arose to his advantage when they decided to get snacks and watch Batman. Andy’s choice obviously.

 

“Hey Andy…” Frank started. He found it easy to talk to him now that he wasn’t a raging asshole to everyone.

 

“Yeah?” Andy asked grabbing a drink from Frank’s fridge. He looked over at him when Frank was silent. He saw a thoughtful look on Frank’s face and wondered what it was for.

 

“Andy… Did you ever get the Redemption you were looking for?” Frank asked. Andy kept silent and then shook his head with a small smile.

 

“I have you here don’t I?” Andy asked. Frank was about to wonder aloud about the question, but he didn’t need to. The contentedness on Andy’s face clarified whatever questions he had.

 

“Of course you do.” Frank replied gently. Andy smiled then.

 

“That’s all the Redemption I’ll ever need Frankie.”


End file.
